Ok here goes:
I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years
A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago
can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything
This is what she replied
hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.
This is what I replied
hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.
Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young
2006-09-20 11:10:38 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
at 13 they don't really know what they want. it is a very scary and confusing time for girls at that age. you know not a girl but not quite a woman thing. give her some time and it should work it self out.
good luck dude.
2006-09-20 11:17:36 · answer #1 · answered by bgdadyp 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to stay friends and leave it as this. If she has feeling for you that are more than friends she knows how you feel and will let you know. You already made the frist step and told her how you felt. If she wanted to be with you she would, even if it mean ruining your friendship. She sees you as her best friend the one to go to when she having problems the one to cry on when no one cares. She has lots of growing up to do, shes flirting with you letting you know that she likes the whole idea of a guy likeing her but she just doesnt want you as a boyfriend just as a friend right now. Let her go through some relationships and see where they go, just be there for her, when she realizes that you are there and no other guy was that you understand her best she will either fall in love with you or love you as a friend, But right now like i said she wants a friend from you not anything else. She doesnt want to loose you as one. Try flirting with other girls when she around see what she does, mabye it will click into her that if she has any feelings for you more than friends deep deep down than seeing that your not going to wait around forever for her, you got your eye set somewhere else. See where that goes...good luck and look at it as this, you should be lucky to have a best friend you can count on and lean on your both lucky. If you two cant be more than it wouldnt of worked out in the end would of been a heart breaker, this way its saving your friendship. If it does work out make sure not to rush it, when the time comes it will come for a reason and you two might be the match made for each other.
2006-09-20 11:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats alot of words.... lemme think.
Your answer to does she like you or not is right here, ". But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later."
Good Luck
Now that I look back on your other questions, I think you might have a slight problem with OCD, which is nothing to be ashamed of. You might want to consider a mental health doctor to help you get over it. As far as getting over the girl, the more you try to move in on her the faster she will retreat, she has said no and you need to respect that.
2006-09-20 11:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♥♥ Pink ♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I did the exact same thing.
Its very weird to see someone with a problem that is so similar to mine.
I met this person early in middle school, and we were fast friends. She was great, smart, funny, beautiful, the works. I never really started liking her until we got into high school, but, because I was too scared, I never acted on it.
I watched her go through two relationships, with one real big jerk, and another guy that was a good guy. Things didn't work with the last guy, and she was very broken up over it.
I never intended to tell her about how I felt. Ever. But, it came up with conversation with one of my friends, and he told her.
Several weeks went by, and we started to hang out more.
Then she had a surgery on her ankle, and I was with her every chance I could. She really didn't want to get into a relationship with me though.
I was going to college about 400 miles away, and she didn't want a long distance relationship.
So we beat around the bush, for weeks. I was so confused, I couldn't tell which way was up anymore.
Finally, I took her out to a movie, I was shaking the whole time, so violently, she thought I was spazing out. Finally, when I took her back to my car, I kissed her. I only intended a small, light kiss on the cheek, as it was my first ever, but she jumped me. Turns out, she was just waiting for me to make a move.
So that's the morel of the story.
Jump for it. go and do something. hug her, kiss her, just show her you're not kidding around.
Nike said it, kid
Just do it.
2006-09-20 11:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by Captain Moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me like shes confused Her feelings for you might have grown stronger in a boyfriend girlfriend way. Maybee she doesn't want to go that way b/c what if you break up then she lost a good friend at the same time She's caught b2w chances of losing a friend by following what you feel and hiding what you feel to keep a friendship. If you care for her in a strong way let her know that you'll never break her heart and no matter what happens youll always be her friend
2006-09-20 11:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by summer s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha i know you said not to, but you are too young, but i guess there is no right age for love or whatever it is you are feeling. And let me tell you this it seems like from what she had said in the email she seems a little "attitude-y" In my opinion I don't think she likes you at all in a relationship kind of way, sorry. Good luck, there are more fish in the sea and you have a lot of time ahead of you.
2006-09-20 11:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by cremedelacreme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay. i read your entire question and this is what i think: i dont think she likes you but im pretty sure that she really cares about you. maybe she doesnt want to ruin a friendship or whatever. but if a guy made it clear that he liked me. there would be no reason for me to tell him that i dont like him if i really did. about the staring at you thing and the body language thing. maybe she doesnt feel so close to you anymore or something else is going on in her life that may cause her to act this way. talk to her and just stay friends right now.
2006-09-20 11:19:08 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just let her take her time. She probably does like you but then she may just really wanna stay friends. If ya'll are young, then she's probably really confused about what she wants right now. I would give her time to see how she acts around you alone. Try to take her out to lunch/dinner and go do something afterwards. Let her know that its just goin to be as friends though. That way she'll feel more comfortable than if it seems like an actual date.
2006-09-20 11:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by kountry_kandi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, for one thing, she is very young, and very likely to change her mind about boys a lot between now and age 18....
Have you ever heard the saying...."Better a good friend, than a lousey lover"?
Treasure this special friendship you have with this girl....and continue to be her friend and really listen to her when she needs to talk....this is the best way to win her over in the long run, if this is truly what you want to do.
You have your whole life ahead of you....enjoy your youth.
2006-09-20 11:18:54 · answer #9 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember when i was that age...everything seemed such a big deal!
anyway, i get you, and what i can understand from her reaction is that she is not really interested in you...
think about it, you are just interpretating things...."she seems..." you are seeing things the way you want them to see them...
try to be more objective, she is flirting with other guys, she feels more comfortable with you because she doesn't feel the same for you than you for her...
just be there for her, if you really care, be her best friend, with time chances are big that her feelings might change for you, you'll see...
just be patient....
IT WILL HAPPEN, just breathe, relax, be happy with or without her, go out with friends, and as i said before, be there for her, one of this days she might need a shoulder to lean on....
good luck!
2006-09-20 11:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was the longest thing ever... (1) you need to bloody chill out.. your doing your doin your own head in thinking about it (2) you'v asked her to be honist with her about evry thing and she's answered your question (3) if you carry on hassling her about it you may lose your freindship all together and i think thats the last thing you want. Now i kno it must be hard because you have strong feelings for this girl and if u see her flirting with other guys that must be really hard on you, but just take a step back and look at your freindship. She must be a very special girl.. you need to concentrate on the friendship you have together.. you never no wat may happen in the future. take care keep smiling and be happy :-)
2006-09-20 11:25:20 · answer #11 · answered by rochie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋