My boyfriend has recently asked for time alone, for time to think as we had an argument about our relationship and our future. I never realised that it could be such a big deal when I ask him a simple question like whether he sees in me in the future. He told me he feels under pressure and we had an argument about it as he told me he feels stressed out with everything in his life, including our relationship. He has not been in contact with me for the last 2 weeks, what should I do? I don't understand why men need time alone and time to think? Does he not love me anymore and does not want to be with me? I have been worrying that I might loose him. All of my friends keep telling me not to contact him but why has he been silent all this time? Please explain to me his behaviour.. Have I messed it up?
2006-09-20 10:45:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like he was looking for an excuse to break up with you. Move on. It's over. Find someone else and make him jealous.
2006-09-20 10:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes in a relationship boys due tend to ask for alone time so that they can think and clear there minds to make the right choice for what ever situation i know that you may love him but you need to wake up and smell the roses cause if he really did feel the same way about you and your future he wouldn't treat you so bad i mean 2 weeks not calling you that behavior alone shows that he didn't feel the way you did and that he isn't ready or is just looking for a way out of the relationship. i mean the most important thing is that you did respect his alone time and give him time to think I'm sure that that took lot of strength. you need to move on and find someone how is ready for the kind of relationship your asking for.
2006-09-20 11:15:25 · answer #2 · answered by babi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't messed up. Dig deep to find your own power. Even though you are anxious, try to control it as best you can so it doesn't control you. And don't act out your desperation even though you might feel that way right now also. You can't force a relationship to work, and if either one of you questions it, let it be. You thought your relationship was solid; now you are in shock realizing it may not be as solid as you thought based on HIS point of view. So, if he doesn't want it, by all means cry, go through the grief, but have enough insight to find someone who wants you as much as you want them, and enough dignity to let him wander away. Stop taking the blame. If he doesn't want you, then you don't need a guy like that. You are in the middle of a period of shock and confusion so it will be a while to understand what I'm saying. Good luck.
2006-09-20 10:57:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not do anything wrong.Women and men do that when they are serious in a relationship they want to know what is up.You should not do anything, you do what you got to do.Do not revolve your life around him, don't bother him.Also think about is this what you want?, when the going get's tough in a relationship he cannot handle it and leave.He does love you just confused and scared of the future also.No you have not messed anything up.This break may as well either help you guys get back together stronger or break you.And no matter what the conclusion is deal with it like a women.
2006-09-20 10:49:30 · answer #4 · answered by Amry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guy's are just plain annoying and extremely hard to understand. The funny thing is, they say girl's are so hard to understand, but guy's have their issues too. I am sorry you are going through this, but I can definately relate. Lately, my boyfriend has been acting silent a bit. I think when a guy is just put on the spotlight about a major topic, like marriage, they get a bit nervous. He is probably really nervous, because he can actually see himself with you in the future. Sometimes, guys need some time to think, and it can be very annoying for us girls to wait around for them. Just try and be patient and see if he comes around. I'm sure it will all work out for you!
2006-09-20 10:52:02 · answer #5 · answered by kristy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means he doesn't see you in his future and doesn't have the balls to say so. No you didn't mess it up, you just found out the truth about it..better now than later! Move on, this is done or at the very least he doesn't want the same things from it that you do and maintaining a relationship like that is like getting on the downtown bus when your goal is to get uptown and then being angry about being taken downtown...see what I mean? This guy is going to the same place you are, find someone who is!! Good luck
2006-09-20 10:49:23 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's complicated to assert what's happening the following without understanding the folk in touch. From my personal journey, i'm guessing that he's leaning in direction of no longer wanting to be with you. perchance you're pressuring him, and shifting too quick for his flavor. i do not understand how lengthy you adult men were mutually, yet I do have a tendency to imagine that if after a particular time period the different man or woman continues to be "no longer confident" - they under no circumstances will be; i'd be prepared to furnish about a year, yet when after that i don't sense the courting is shifting interior the right direction, i'd ought to finish that it change into time to seem elsewhere. your pals are precise about no longer contacting him. even if the clarification being that he's supplying you with a silent remedy - recommendations video games, administration, playing peace and quiet - it is going to in worry-free words make issues worse in case you initiate bugging him. Take this time to imagine issues over your self; is he quite the fellow you opt to be with? even if if he doesn't opt to be with you to a similar degree? Uncertainty should be undesirable, I agree. it ought to probable be that to him it really is a cowardly thanks to split with you. supply it your time, yet no longer too a lot; be certain for your self that if he doesn't contact you interior, say, a month - the courting is off. i'd probable write a heavily worded digital mail to him at this aspect, short and sweet, letting him do not ignore that that's over, no complicated emotions. Then, chalk it as a lot as journey, and move on.
2016-10-16 01:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not messed up anything. Often men will make up things when they are trying to weasel out of a relationship. This sounds like the case to me. Give him all the "time" he wants, just don/t hold your breath waiting for him. Sounds like he is just looking for a way out of your relationship. You don't need to feel guilty about this!
2006-09-20 10:51:32 · answer #8 · answered by worldwise1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give the guy space,when he cools off u ta;k 2 him and tell him that because he's having' a bad day he shouldn't take all the anger out with u,and if this keeps happening' u guys can't be together no mo'.I meen even i it hurts u girl u gotta do it or he'll dump u or cheat on u.Good Luck Mua...
2006-09-20 10:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say it is a simple question, but obviously he doesn't see it as simple. It sounds like he is not ready to make a commitment (which is probably what he thought you were asking for.) and hasn't thought about the future with you yet. I suggest you call him and tell him he doesn't need to answer the question and you want to be with him again.
2006-09-20 10:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be something that is going on at home!! or it could be something that he said to you or something you said him him in a argument!! and he might think that you are mad at him!! no i dont think you have messed up because you are the person that is trying 2 talk 2 he other person and he is the one pushing away!! so try 2 get one of his friends to talk 2 him 4 u and see how that goes!!
2006-09-20 10:52:35 · answer #11 · answered by sportsgirl_1230 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋