we've been goign out for 9 months, and at teh start of our reltionship i lied someone else which i know is 100% wrong, but we btoh got over it and he took me back, now everythings messed up and alot of stuff has happened throughout teh course of 9 months, someone very clsoe to him died, and he gets mad at anythign and everything, nothing i do is right anymore, and its partially all my fault, he doesn't trust me anymore, due to teh fact that we go to diferent highschoools and that i tend to tell a lie every now and then, i dont do it on purpose, but i honlesty dont know why i do it, everythings a mess and i want to fix this, and he said hes tried of fixing everything, and i know i should be the one to fix things, but im clueless and i need help, please please
2006-09-20 10:23:19 · 20 answers · asked by fendley_jordan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Earn It
2006-09-20 10:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Once you break trust its very hard to regain. Simply because you are kind of showing that you can't be trusted. Also when he took you back you should have tried then to show him that you could be trusted. Theres probably not much you can do to fix that and the reason I say that is because if there is no trust in a relationship then the relationship can't survive. Neither of you will never be happy. Its my guess you all should just end the relationship now before there is anymore hurt.
2006-09-20 10:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are lying to hide things... Then you need to be true to yourself and go do whatever you want to do. Then, you will have done the things that you feel you have to try to hide. Or you must take an extra moment to think before you speak. Also, if the loss of a friend is not your fault ,but just a loss, then he may need some space to think things through, bcz him not handling his frustations and taking them out on you , seems to be hurting you. Go get some space. Since your in high school , you have plenty of time and other to date, too.
2006-09-20 10:32:24 · answer #3 · answered by Dale S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun first chill! take a deep breath and relax.listen ive read the enitire story you wrote, i'm telling you from where i read in this, hes kinda Over you hun, it's not gonna ever work out, because # 1 you said you lie every now and then, it will remain on the back of his mind every time you say somthing he doesent understand, he will think its a lie!, and if you Pressure him it will only get WORSE! trust me hun i deal with this every day, the best thing for you to do at this point, is just kinda separate from him, let him see you have changedm then when he can bew around you without getting upset, it means hes ready to try again! good luck hun
2006-09-20 10:29:51 · answer #4 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider what you would do if the roles were reversed, if you felf that YOU couldn't trust HIM. What would it take for you to trust him again after losing trust in him? It's best to be completely honest when contemplating things like this. You have to really look at yourself and be very honest with yourself and him. Try writing about it. Try thinking about it as hard as you can before going to bed. When you wake up, you might find that your subconscious mind has worked out for you what your conscious mind could not. You have to be receptive to all ideas in order to find the solution.
2006-09-20 10:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by conundrum 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you lie to him and dont even know why then you are just wrong for that if you lied to him too many times he might not ever trust you again but maybe you two are just growing apart just talk to him and tell him how you feel and ask him if he even wants to stay together with you if you have no trust in a relationship there is no relationship
2006-09-20 10:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by mija~chula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
train urself not to lie and tell him what you now told us ,he will help in time ,but its hard to get over a lier ,if you lie and you know u r doing it ,stop and say no,im lieing ,and i dont want to from this moment on no matter what tell thr truth ,,,but it can hurt and it can be embarrasing ,grt over this and you win and as me you will realise lieing is a stupid thing that weak people do ,you are srtonger than that ,you must be to bother to mention this to us you need to stop doing this ,and it is not all that ard infact to tell the truth is so much easier than you think ,and it feels good to to know that you are trust worthy and truthfull ,
i never lie,it rather get into trouble than be called a lier ,it stays with you a long time and its not nice to be classed as a lier.
boy have i got into some scrapes as a kid cos i refussed to lie or cover for anyone ,but as you get older you gain respect and trust and that makes it all worth while ,all my friends will ask my truthfull oppinion as they now i will tell them the truth ev en if its gonna hurt we all have the right to know the truth ,
im also very out spoken whih dont always go down well with everyone,,yet its funny they all like to now the truth ,but some people cant handle the truth ,as its too hard for them so there for they are as much of a lier as the next person ,cos if you cant face the truth then you are living a lie ,,,,,that in itself is a good as a spoken lie ,only lies can be unspoken to ,,,,never ever lie to yourself or to others ,why the hell should you ,cos if people cant handle the truth its their problem not urs ,i lost a freind cos she couldnt handle hearing the truth ,but its her fault ,and she knows it ,and she still hasnt admitted it to herself after 10 years ,....shes living a lie ,,,,and it has destroyed her life and our friendship ,,,,but i have no guilt ,,,,,as i have never lied ,,,,she carrys the guilt ,,,with every step of every year ....and she will probably take it to her grave ,,,,what a sorry little life ,,,i so hope you can be braver than that ,,,,make urself a promise ,no matter ow painfull from this day on ,u will never lie again ,,,,and you just feel the strenght that comes with it ,its like a breath of fresh air ,,,,it seems to rest the soul,,,,but you must mean it ,,and do it ,,,,right no this very second ,,,,,,,good luck ,and i wish you well ,,,,i promse you will NEVER look back.....and you WILL gain respect....kat.
2006-09-20 10:42:16 · answer #7 · answered by whitecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't begun to trust you again and you keep lying you won't earn his trust back. It's a wrap just leave it alone b/c he is insecure and you can't stop lying things are never going to be the same
2006-09-20 10:29:14 · answer #8 · answered by Honey Eyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you already know what to do so stop beating around the bush and do it already you love him do whats right and stop lying because when you tell one you have to tell another to keep the first lie going do yourself a favor and stop
2006-09-20 10:31:59 · answer #9 · answered by shariecollins2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't only he can do that. He has to learn to trust you. I'll say it again . NO TRUST , NO RELATIONSHIP. Don't lie to him or anyone for that matter. Alwayz messes things up.He is emotional give him some time.
2006-09-20 10:27:28 · answer #10 · answered by primamaria04 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋