Cheating Boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend recently broke up with me because and I quote "to keep from cheating on me" He had already done that I found out after the fact. I was in an abusive relationship before and he knew this. He bought me a wedding ring and promised that he would never leave me and my baby (18 mos.) who called him daddy. I am thinking that there is something wrong with me to be attracting all these losers. I wrote manwhore on his front door with sidewalk chalk. Was I wrong to do this? Is there something wrong with my personality that makes men want to abuse me?

He lives right across the hall from me. He has all these skank hoes coming over to his house and basically is rubbing it in my face.

Answer 1

First I would not have done the whole writing thing because it just leads to more. Second sometimes we do look for the wrong type of guys. My question is what was the main male influeence in your childhood like? Most of the time we look for a simular person in which case you have to change you whole way of thinking go for your exact opposite. If you see a man and you think that guy would be really good for someone else that would be the prime guy to end up with.

Answer 2

I too was in an abusive relationship so I know how it feels. I would seek some counseling because there is something in you that attracts these types of men and you'll be able to figure out what it is. Lots of people will say it's not you and it really isn't but there is a part of you that finds these guys over and over again and you need to work on you to figure this out.

As for the manwhore thing, the police may think that it's wrong. Lucky it was in chalk it can be washed off.

Try to let go of this guy and work on you and your baby. My son was just a little older when we left his dad and it was VERY hard on him. If your child was calling this guy daddy it's going to be hard on him/her too.

I took a year off of dating when I was abused and finally broke free. I worked on me for that year. Then that summer I had a summer fling just for fun, we both knew it. I wish I hadn't done that because I think about him a lot most days in fact. But I think it still was good to get it out of my system.

Now I live with someone who may be cheating on me, and I might be where you are really soon. So I do understand the pain you are in the only and best advice is to work on yourself and your baby. That is the most importance. If this guy was cheating on you he doesn't deserve your spit!

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with you. Don't let anyone anger you to the point that you have to question something that you've said or done. Stop and think before writing on someones property. People only do to us what we allow them to do. I had to learn that the hard way. There is something deep inside that you have to stop suppressing and take a look deep. The answer to why you attract this personality is in you and you keep doing the same thing over and coming up with the same results. After you take your personal inventory you will know what kind of changes you will have to make. The changes are going to seem impossible and very difficult to do. They will be but as long as you remember nothing worth having comes easy. And keep in mind that you are a child of the KING and the battle has already been won. Keep your head up and push on through because we do have to go through to get to the promise.

Answer 4

I wouldn't have written that on his door but then again I dont have an 18 mth old. First thing your probably doing wrong is staying with guys that you probably had some minor gut feelings about in the beginning and didn't listen to it. The next problem could be that your letting them know you came out of an abusive relationship. I think what guys do is think that you will put up with it if it was in your past. Keep those facts to yourself until you know them for a long time or never tell them at all.

Answer 5

You are only human and seem really hurt, emotionally. He obviously wants to head down a different path and no matter what you do....you can never change his mind. I think by letting go and let God find you your answer is the best advice! Use this as another learning experience and you will more than likely have the answers later and I am sure that special person will enter your life when the time is right. Isn't it better to find out that this guy is not right for you now rather than later when the baby would possibly become emotionally attached to him and then the both of you would be hurting which would even be harder than it is now. There is plenty of support groups out there for you and maybe even get involved in your church for emotional support to help you get through these hard times.

Answer 6

No, there is nothing wrong with you that attracts losers. BUT, having said that, there is something in you that lets you accept losers in your life. It's not your personality that makes men want to abuse you, it's your choosing abusers. It's a pattern that you learned as a child, it means that you were abused (if for no other reason than you were taught you didn't deserve men who respect, honor, and treat you with dignity). You can learn to make better choices in men. You must learn to require men to respect and honor you, your body, your wishes, your needs, and desires. If you keep guys who don't do that away, the good ones will be left. It's difficult because you've been taught that you are not worthwhile, not valuable, and not a good person. You must unlearn that.
Yes, you were wrong to write that on his door--he didn't get any money for the sex so he's technically not a whore. :)

Answer 7

I don't think there is anything wrong with your personality. I think maybe u just fall for the wrong guys is all, I think all girls fall for a loser every now and then. And for him to make a promise, give you a ring, and was called daddy by your baby I think that was just messed up. The manwhore thing on the door I wouldn't have done it, its kinda over the top but I think he deserved it for all that. And knowin that you were in an abusive relationship, he shoulda known to treat you with a lil more care, yea I think he deserved it.

Answer 8

All men are natural sexual predators. if we know that we can pick a woman to have sex with and make her believe that she is the one and only we can do as we please and always get away with it and when we are done with you we'll tell you a silly line to break-up with you. Single mothers are the easiest target because they regret the mistake that they made (not the child but unprotected sex) and now are looking for love. most men who find a pretty woman with a child will say to her I'll take you and your child as my own, now some men will do that and some just want sex and anything else they can get from you. It's hard to distinguish who is good and who isn't so it's up to you. treat every man the same and you'll weed out the pretenders. as far as cheating men cheat when there is no more variety in the sex and the thrill of the hunt is gone. so next time give him enough to stay but not enough that he'll get tired of you

Answer 9

Keep him dumped. I used to feel that way, that I was a loser magnet..but I was..because I allowed them in. Losers are easier to get , especially if you are a Mommy and young. Yes it was wrong to vandalize his door. BUT I can understand it, but let him go and build up some self esteem. Go out and do something for yourself, or learn a new sport. The best revenge is living well. The loser abusers are sensing that you allow it is all. You need to read this book "WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES" cover to cover. Go now and buy it.

Answer 10

if he has already cheated on u before he will do it again they wont change!!! and writing manwhore on his door, that is why ur bf are abusive to u. if they dont want to be with u or the other way around then just drop them dont bother them even though it may hurt to move but it's part of life, u will find someone who will treat u right u just have to wait then when u least expect they will be right in front of u