Dating Etiquette: Who pays?
Scenario: A common friend to a man and a woman sets the two up on a blind date. The couple go out to dinner at a nice restaurant, one that their friend suggested for their first date. The two meet at the restaurant. Both enjoy the dinner and the company of the other. The bill arrives.
The waiter places the bill on the table equal distance between the couple. Who should reach for the bill? How should the bill be divided, if at all? Please explain answer.
Also, have you had any awkward/funny experiences regarding who picks up the tab?
2006-09-20 10:05:35 · 23 answers · asked by Gin Martini 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The man should reach for it first, and see what the woman does. These days, most women will reach for their purse (at least, I always do). But please bear in mind that it usually takes a woman longer to find the money the money in her handbag than it will take you to get your wallet out! =) and then, essentially, you should split it. But she would be impressed if the man paid...
2006-09-20 10:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that there is a little more to the story. I would think the common friend knows a bit about the financial ability of the man to pay for a meal for two at this restaurant. Assuming that is correct, it is generally the man who will pay - unless the woman insists on picking it up. In that event, the man should smile, thank her and immediately insist, "The next one is on me!"
2006-09-20 17:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by north79004487 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You (the gentleman) should try to pay the bill, without hesitation, if challenged, negotiate freely but briefly.
¿Why?, Well, there are three main scenarios:
1- She wants you to pay the bill.
2- She wants to split it.
3- She wants to pay it herself.
The reasons are important and should be respected, but need not be discussed now.
If you (gentleman) reach for the bill, without hesitation, you automatically full fill the first scenario and she won't say nothing of will simply thank you for the supper.
If in scenarios 2 or 3 she will ask to split or pay, you should insist only mildly, in case she offers to pay just to be very polite. But quickly yield on her request, nobody wants a lenghty negotiation of the bill.
If you hesitate in taking the bill, you wold be failing scenario 1, would seem in contempt if asking to pay later if in any scenario and would be more likely to fall in an argument over the bill.
In any case, the quick draw has the upper hand in paying and should be asked to share if the other so desires, in any case the shown desire of the other to pay should be respected. If you don't wish to pay for dinner delay taking the bill, but do so and pay without complaint if the other also avoids the subject (anyone may discover that left his/her wallet at home).
The final objective is simply to avoid a conflict over the bill, if you aren't willing to pay the whole bill or at least your part you should not have engaged in the date in the first place, and at least should be grateful, but seldom anyone is in this situation.
On the funny stories side, once a friend that owed me money left a lot of money on the table to pay the bill, much more that required, when i told him about his generosity when leaving the table, he replied that it was enough to pay the bill and his debt, no tip included, so i had to return quickly not to disappoint the waitress. Morale don't assume that the others will count the money on the table when paying.
2006-09-20 17:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by Bolo Lacertus 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
im a little different. most females are going to answer this question that the guy should pay or reach for the bill...but im like if you both agree to meet each other there, it's a blind date, she should have her own money to pay for her own dinner...now when you both get comfortable w/ one another or decide to go out on another date, if i set the date, i pay the tab. if you set the date, you get it...i just wouldn't get offended if you didnt pay the tab on our first blind date...that is ridiculous
2006-09-20 17:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by Say It Again M'am 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In our culture , it is the guy who is expected to pay the bill, specially on a first date.
As a girl, If the guy on your scenario pays the bill on a first date it is a GOOD first impression!
In my experience it is the guy who always pay
:-) but I offer to pay once in a while after we've been dating for quite some time.
2006-09-20 17:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Keepingmycool 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The man should pay period. I would not go out with a man if he hesitated or ask me to split the bill. I only have had awkward situtations with ladies about picking up the bill, most woman will out wait another female which I think is rude, that is why I am the first to pick up the bill not to look cheap.
2006-09-20 17:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by meanicelady 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well the girl is looking for good traits in you and a gentleman would pay for the meal. If you split the cost then she won't know what to expect from you as far as that goes. I would totally pay and leave the tip, that is if you really care about the girl and about how you want to be known. You know even if you 2 don't date again she is going to talk about you to her friends.
2006-09-20 17:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by gus2222 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is an interesting question, and I usually split the tab, but the last time, I had an appetizer instead of a main course and water to drink.
The person I was with had an appetizer, a main course, dessert and several glasses of wine.
Hello, should I have really split the tab? He expected me to.
2006-09-20 17:17:28 · answer #8 · answered by starting over 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1. That should have been decided in advance.
2. You, not your friend, should have invited her.
3. As a rule, the inviter pays, but since you have an ambiguous situation, you can go Dutch, or ask her how she feels about the awkward situation and you tell her how you feel.
4. When people know where they stand, things work easier.
Good luck.
2006-09-20 18:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by mitch 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm. Well, if it were me, I'd say "would you like me to pay, or would you rather split this time?" That way there's no question - and the person does have the option to say "Don't worry about it, I'll pay."
If I were on a blind date with a guy and he asked me this question, I wouldn't be offended at all. I'd see it as him being respectful of me, but in a way that doesn't make him a complete MCP (which is just annoying).
2006-09-20 18:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by living_in_a_bell_jar 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋