my friend read the directions and instructions on a medicine bottle and then started shaking his body (all over). i asked him wot the hell he was doing and he said that the bottle said "shake before use"...
if u think this is lame, please tell me something funny, i need cheering up?
2006-09-20 09:32:03 · 27 answers · asked by Wisdom 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lame... here is something to cheer ya up..
A guy was stranded on a desert island with Heidi Klum. Initially, he played it cool, not making any moves on her for several weeks.
Finally, he asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other’s needs. Heidi was game, and a very nice sexual relationship began.
After several months, the guy approached Heidi and said, “I have a problem…It’s kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favor.” Heidi replied, “Okay,” to which he asked, “Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?”
Heidi looked at him in confusion, but obliged.
The guy then asked, “Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a mustache on you?” Heidi was growing worried, but again obliged, so the guy drew a mustache on her.
Then the guy said, “Can you wear some of my clothes? I need for you to look more like a man.” Heidi was becoming disappointed at this point, but hesitantly put on his clothes.
Finally, the guy said to Heidi, “Do you mind if I call you Phil?” Heidi had now become very dejected, and said “No, I guess not, you can call me Phil.”
So, the guy reached out and grabbed Heidi by the arms and shouted “Phil, you won’t believe who I have been sleeping with!”
2006-09-20 09:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
i agree with *shaula359* on that..thx for the laughs..
here's a silly 1..hope it helps to cheer u up...:)
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
have a good one..:)
2006-09-20 16:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cute - a fellow punster, sorta like what I would have done...
A person needs to be 'punny' once in a while. I got too carried away once and a bunch of my friends had a mock assassination of me using water pistols...I actually kinda enjoyed that.
Sometimes you have to be a bit squirrelly....climb in a tree and act like a nut...enjoy a bit of nonsence...it will put a smile on you face.
Here is a little funny for you:
THE PHONE CALL
Hello?"
"Hi Honey . . . This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now."
*** Brief pause ***
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy."
"And what happened Honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you emptied it last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
*** Long pause ***
*** Longer pause ***
*** Even longer pause ***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? . . . Is this 555-486-5731?"
2006-09-20 16:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by Shaula 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
you want a joke to cheer you up here goes
a guy is lost in the desert for 3 days all of a sudden here hears someone yell mush. he looks over and sees the Eskimo coming right at him. and stops right in front of him. the guy says to the Eskimo thank God your here I been lost for 3 days.
The Eskimo looks at him and Says You think your Lost?
2006-09-20 17:23:44 · answer #4 · answered by Robert G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was alright kinda like this one :
- A family of tomatoes went out for a walk but the baby tomato was just too slow! So after an hour of having to slow down for the baby, the Father tomato got so frustrated he went to the baby tomato and smashed his fist over the baby and yelled:
KETCHUP!
2006-09-20 17:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by Meemah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um, did he seriously think to shake his body, or was he just joking around. here's a funny joke-
A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when a woman sidles up next to him. “You’re cute,” says the woman. “Do you want to go back to my place and have some nasty sex?”
“You bet!” exclaims the hillbilly. “But I have to tell you, I’m a virgin. I’ve always been scared because my mom told me that women have sharp teeth between their legs, and sometimes they bite.”
“Don’t worry,” the woman says, and the two head back to her place, where she strips and shows the hillbilly her private parts. “Now, does it look like I have teeth down there?” she asks.
“How could you possibly have teeth down there?” he says.
“Look at the shape your gums are in!”
2006-09-20 17:08:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it wuz ok. heres a good 1!!!
A guy takes his blond girlfriend to a football game on a date. at the end, he asked her "did u like the game?" and she said "Well, i liked the tight pants & tight shirts, but the rest of it, i didnt get." then he asks "why not" and she says "ok, well in the begining of the game, they flipped a quarter, and one team got it, and then for the rest of the game they were all like 'get the quarter back, get the quarter back.' i mean, HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! its only 25 cents!"
â¥Girlygirl7869048@yahoo.comâ¥
2006-09-20 17:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by ♥GirlyGirl♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you might be a redneck if someone yells hoe down and your girlfriend hits the floor or you might be a redneck if you get caught lying through your tooth
2006-09-20 17:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by accvining 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was funny but I think jujjieboo deserves the ten points. That joke she told was hilarious!
2006-09-20 16:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jazzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
okay this is gross, so be warned.
me and my friend were talking on aim.. about freshmen. and my friend's on the water polo team and he said:
"there was this really annoying freshman on the waterpolo team, and he was being a jerk, so the captain put a used tampon on his mouth"
2006-09-20 17:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by spoof ♫♪ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋