how do discipline my 16 yr old son?

Question

my son is a good kid...he reads...he keeps to himself...but he smokes marijuana but i don't want to confront him. my wife is a social worker,she suggests i use some physical force and take my aluminum ball bat upside his knee caps. i've tried this three times, the last time i hit him in the back. but i he hasn't decided to quit smoking pot...he even has the nerve to ask me why i did it. is this wrong of me?

Answer 1

Introduce him to cocaine or maybe even heroin. Once he gets hooked on that, he'll be too f ucked up to smoke pot.

Answer 2

You hit him with an aluminum bat? Maybe you need to smoke some of his weed and chill it down a bit.

I was 16 once, and I smoked weed too. How did my dad get through to me?

He didn't.

At 16, you know just about everything, can do just about anything, and don't need your parents for much of anything. Newtons 3rd. law..."for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction"

Talk to him, tell him whats up and how you feel about what he is doing. Restrict him. But (and this is from experience) if you beat him, he will loathe you, and one day you will be on the recieving end of a right to the chin from him.

Tough to come back smiling from that.

Answer 3

yes, it is wrong, please don't use physical force. Tell your son that it bothers you and your wife, if he is going to do these things, you do not want to know about it, and want nothing illegal to enter your house. Apologize for hitting him, explain that you don't want to hurt him, and you are afraid of the drugs doing just that. Have some trust in your son, so what if he smokes pot, if he is basically a good kid, let him make his own calls in life. You can beat the boy until he is dead, but that won't make him stop. He's a young adult, it's up to him to start making his own choices in life, even if you don't approve of them. There are much worse things he can be doing, just keep that in mind. Good luck.

(mother of successful 16 year old twins)
(but just because they are successful, it doesn't mean they are perfect)

Answer 4

I am appalled that you would resort to physical violence as a means of punishment. History tells us that torture is a very unreliable means of gaining a result and in fact is more likely to increase the appalling habit (in this case smoking pot) becuase it proves rebellion. If you desire to help your son stop smoking pot you have several choices that are a lot better then the rediculous notion that you could simply beat it out of him. As the only clean person among my friends I am responsible for getting them to quit all kinds of drugs. Let me explain the methods that I have used that proved most effective.

Practically never fails for hard drugs:
1.)Take the person to a drug rehabilitation clinic. They are among the most horrible places to ever be. Not only will you see mindless drooling zombies who have become braindead. You will see people who fingerpaint with their own feces. eat their own feces, bash their head in a wall over and over and over again among even worse acts that at this moment I do not have the heart to convey. This method has never failed for hard drugs but its not to effective to make people quick pot.

Good for getting people off pot:
2.)Take them to a drugs and alcohol rehabilitation clinic. These places understand the true nature of drugs like pot. They can prove in scientifically controlled environments that pot destroyed the ability to function. This includes thinking, fine and rough motor coordination, the ability to stay focused among many other things. They will not give up either. I have even paid for friends to attend these rehab clinics.

Proper parental response:
3.)My best friend was caught with pot. I believe his parents had the perfect response. They removed every ounce of trust from him. He was not allowed to lock or close his bedroom door. He was grounded from friends and after school activity. His room was subject to weekly inspection to be sure he had not aquired more pot. Nothing was allowed to be sacred to him until he proved beyond a doubt he would never be so stupid again. This method was rather effective.

In all honesty I have nothing against pot. It is not really that horrible a drug compared to ciggerettes, alcohol, tabacco, caffiene and other legal narcotics. However, I have a strong feeling about being within the confined of the law. I often stress that pot is a controlled substance and that prison is a very likely outcome. On a single occasion a friend said that jail did not mean anything to him. That he was a hardened criminal and nothing could stop him. That he would off any pigs that got in his way. I turned him into the police department. He spent 7 days in prison and to this day is a very straight edge individual and an outstanding member of the community. If you can not break this habit of his, do the last right thing, turn him in!

If he goes to prison now he will not have this against his adult record. This is to his advantage regarding work and college which is far more valuable then maintaining your already shattered dignity.

I am ashamed that people still think a baseball bat is good for something besides playing baseball. You and your wife should be ashamed and locked in prison for physical abuse. I have no sympathy for you or your wife. In fact I know precisely why your son turned to drugs. It is becuase his parents are not worthy of raising him.

You are not worthy of my hails,
Silence

Answer 5

You need to start giving your kid the love he needs. Hitting or abusing him in any manner will not help either of you. Ask him why he smokes pot and what he derives from it. Let him understand the danger of he is causing to his physical and mental health.
Ask him to suggest what he might like do in alternative to pot smoking. Would he like to register in the local gym, take up some sort of sport, see the drugs counsellor or go on holiday. Something to take his mind off it for a while and you take it from there. Good luck.

Answer 6

wow. I can't believe you would even think hitting your son would help at all. He is only 16 and you are the parent. You CAN make him stop smoking pot. If parents only had the nerve to discipline their kids. You should really sit down and talk to him about it. Ask him why he feels that he needs to smoke pot. And let him know that you do not approve.

Answer 7

It grieves me to hear that you have taken a baseball bat to your son. Studies after studies have found that beating children for discipline does not work and in fact causes low self-esteem and a host of other psychological disorders. Beating children creates child beaters. Your son needs counselling and greater awareness about why he think he needs to smoke pot. If you or your wife cannot provide him with councelling then take him to a professional and do it sooner rather than later.

Answer 8

physically abusing some one ever is not the way to get the point across. your social worker wife is off her rocker and shouldn't be working in that field if that is how she feels about any type of disciplinary situation. if he is staying out of trouble and isn't hurting himself or other i would say its a good time for a sit down to discuss the pros and cons of drug use. over reacting will just push him further down a road you don't want him on. communication is so key with teenage kids. please don't ABUSE your child ever again. i personally would need to smoke pot to ease the pain of a baseball bat to my back. sit down find out the reasons why. what kind of environment is he in? (school, work, home, friends) whats happening there. you should be someone he trusts not someone he fears. also i would try to find some type of alcohol and drug education class. make a father, son trip out of it.

Answer 9

Physical force is never a good thing. I'd suggest talking to him and grounding him. Have him go to rehab. Don't ever "discipline" a kid like that--if you get desparate, you can call in the authorities, since he's breaking the law, but now, he'll have something against you.

Answer 10

Tell him you made a huge mistake when you decided to smoke it, and that you don't want him to to be like you when you were a teenager and that if he doesn't stop smoking pot it will ruin his life and he will eventually die, but he can stop now and save himself. And there will be big consequences if he doesn't. But I don't know what the consequences should be if he doesn't stop... Take away his books?

Answer 11

i think that he has a problem in his life
something u don't know about , in school or with friends
or maybe casue his dad is not around , im just guessing
so i think u need to handle the roots of the problem to get an affective solution.
or maybe he is just too spolied...
some of the people here said to kick his @$$ or to hit him
well don't do that , its worthless
y dont buy Dr. phill book family first , try it u r not gonna lose anythign by doing that