a fella who i went with when i was younger behind my parents backs has told me he loves me and that he always has even though he is now in a relationship and has a baby. i told him i felt the same but i dont know what to do cause i dont want to be the reason he leaves his girlfriend and child although he says he only loves her cause of the baby. i dont no if its for sex cause ive never slept with him and wont untill hes single and told him this or should i so then hel leave her. my friends no how we feel about each other and told me to go for it anyway but i want someone elses opinion who doesnt know us
2006-09-20 08:47:57 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well first thing you need to do is (nothing) reason i'm saying that is because you already have made the decision you need to Make, stand up stand proud, and keep him away from your Pie, till hes single, and Proved hes real!
2006-09-20 08:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the ball in his court and don't give much away regarding your feelings for him. In this way he'll have to make a decision based on his feelings towards his current other half. Don't open up your feelings as that may influence him and you don't want to feel guilty later on if he leaves the family for you. Things may not even work out for you anyway as what happened all those years ago may not stand now. You have both grown more. You are doing the right thing, don't go anywhere near him until he deals with his family issues. Even then, you need to think about the fact that if things eventually work out between the two of you, you will be a stepmother, and he will have a responsibility for life as the kid is only a baby. Is this what you want, or do you want to be with somebody that does not have 'baggage'. Once again, you are doing the right thing by keeping away at least till he is single.
2006-09-20 09:06:02 · answer #2 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy who would leave his child and the mother of his child is not the guy for you. If he leaves them, what makes you think he won't leave you later? Getting married simply because the girl is pregnant is a terrible idea, and I will always stand by it. Love should not be confused with sex. What you're proposing to do with this guy is very serious, serious enough that eventually you'll have to tell your parents. Are the reasons that you didn't tell your parents about him when you were younger still present? Maybe try to be friends with this guy before you decide if you should get involved with him. It could be that he's getting tired of this girl, and wants some lovin' on the side if you catch my drift. If he's for real, he'll be your friend first.
Another harsh reality...do you want a child in your life that isn't yours? This guy has a priority that is much larger than you in his child. Are you willing to accept that?
You've got a lot to think about, I wish you the best.
2006-09-20 08:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by nemorino147 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Chrissie
Sounds like you are in a right pickle.
My advice is simple....don't go anywhere near this guy. First you will feel guilty about the break-up of his relationship and probably be slightly jealous that he will have to have some contact with her due to the child, but you will probably never be sure whether he will do exactly the sme to you.
Put the brakes on, let the dust settle a bit, and review the situation in a few weeks when things are a bit clearer.
2006-09-20 09:22:19 · answer #4 · answered by silversilver3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't 'get involved with him until he has his life straight. If he leaves his girlfriend and baby to be with you, then he could end up leaving you in the future to be with someone else. If his feelings are true, then he will work on his own life and then you will be comfortable being with him because you will know he is a good man and is taking care of business.
Keep in mind his baby will ALWAYS be a part of his life. He will only leave the girlfriend, not the baby...
2006-09-20 08:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by LasVegasMomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy! This one is a tough one to be in. It's a setup for a heartache, nine times out of ten.
- My personal rule of thumb - don't get involved with an involved man. If he'll leave his woman AND CHILD to be with you, he'll not only leave you, but he is clearly showing disrespect for his woman and a lack of love for his child. Do you really want to have a relationship with someone like that?
- Best bet is to seperate yourself from contact with him. Tell him if he's ever free to look you up, and if you are free at that time, the two of you can talk.
- Good luck to you!
2006-09-20 08:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's really serious, he'll leave on his own. Stay out of it at this point. The baby momma may or may not know what's going on with him (you know, what he's saying to you. Or, whether he really feels that way toward her, or if he's lying to have his cake and eat it too!)
That's drama you do not want to get in the middle of! He needs to get that resolved before you get involved with her hating you, accusing you of coming between them, breaking up the family, then she won't let him see the baby. See where I'm going with this?
Your friends care about you, but they're not looking at the whole picture.
He needs to work it out without you in the equation. Don't you think you deserve that?
2006-09-20 09:14:53 · answer #7 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you have to ask yourself a couple of questions:
Do you want him to leave her for you because it sounds to me like you are a little confused on this point?
You mention in the first instance that you don't want him to leave her for you, but then you question whether you should encourage this by sleeping with him....???
You then speak about 'love' and the fact that the person who professes to love you - and you him, loves someone else because he has a child with her. You need to consider whether this is the type of man that you want to spend the rest of your life with..... cost thats a long time love.
Follow your heart, I completely advocate for that, but don't be silly.
Good Luck!
2006-09-20 09:54:19 · answer #8 · answered by Fecks chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how you feel about him,he has already committed himself to another girl and has a child. I would let them be. If at sometime the situation changes then I would say you have something to go after.
Find someone who isn't already taken. You wouldn't want someone to come in between you and your guy would you? That's called cheating and if he would do it to her,than chances are he would do it to you too!
2006-09-20 09:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Kimmie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is history, dont spoil ur and his gf and kids future. Forget him. If e really loved u so much, wud not have gone into any other relationship. He just wants to sleep with u. Remember, tomorrow he can leave u also like he is leaving his gf today. For no fault of urs.
2006-09-20 08:52:32 · answer #10 · answered by cuteteddy761 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has a baby.. do you really want a man who will leave you later with you are pregnant for another girl? if hes waited for u for so long, he can wait longer til things change. but why do you want to be the reason that broke up a family?
2006-09-20 08:57:36 · answer #11 · answered by b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋