Hi i am 21 almost 22 years old with an almost two year old son named Vincent and i have a step daughter named Claire who is 12 my husband is 27 and i love him to death but he works a lot and has to travel we have been maried now for 6 months. His daughter hates me no matter what i do be nice, drive her place,or clean her room. Her mom died when she was 6 years old and her grandparent on her moms side were taking car of her but could no longer so she moved in with us full time. Yesterday was back to school night and an hour before we left she dyed her hair blue its a catholic school!not allowed.She sat there silent and when one of the teachers asked something told her to go **** herself. When we got home she locked herself in her room her dads away in chicago till tommorow. Then she proceeded to sneak out the window it was nine when we got home and 3:00 in morning when the police found her! This morning i went into her purse and took away her cell phone.
2006-09-20 08:33:51 · 12 answers · asked by Jennifer c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I also removed her T. V from her room and left her with 7 outfits in her closet and one purse.
2006-09-20 08:35:51 · update #1
I have never had to punish a child before hen i asked her why she does not like me she said i am too young and all the boys at school notice me and she hates the way i dress. I dont get it i dont dress like a trap i dress like a 21 year old professional sometimes casual. Granted i am also 5ft6 and weigh 110 pounds and work out but how is that a problem?
2006-09-20 08:39:32 · update #2
Any advice on how too punish her? i now she has noticed by nowher cell phone is gone and she will be home in an hour.
2006-09-20 08:41:02 · update #3
Police found her at a train station
2006-09-20 08:59:06 · update #4
Doesn't sound too harsh to me. I'd take all her clothes because she was sneaking out her window. Leave her PJs and give her clothes in the morning.
If she wants her hair blue, get her a wig for school.
She's acting out and I don't really think you should be surprised. Having a parent die and then to have your grandparents raise her would be traumatizing. It's like she lost both her parents in one fell swoop. She wants attention. She's determined to get it through bad behavior. You should get her counseling ASAP.
You also need to lay down the law. She's not going to respect you if you let her walk all over you. Don't clean up her room. You need to make her do it or continue to ground her from her tv and phone. Take away other privledges if she continues to misbehave.
2006-09-20 08:42:21 · answer #1 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
took away her cell phone most girls her age are lucky to even get cell phones look shes just at that age where they hate everyone and its going to get worse she might think you are coming in between her and her dad and might think you are trying to replace her mom that might be why she is so hard on you and dont like you but you did the right thing even though its not harsh i would have beat her lil *** i mean there is only so much she can get away with and disrespecting people is not a thing she should get away with when her father comes home both of you should really sit down and have a talk with her and should give her a real punishment cause just taking away some t.v and a cell phone isnt enough !
2006-09-20 08:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What!!!! I wouldve been grounded for a few months not aloud to go out. I wouldve been forced to do chores around the house, pull weeds clean rooms geeze. And if i didnt finish I didnt get anything to eat or drink. My father punished me once for sneaking out of the house once. He gave me two Heavy cans of beans and told me to hold one in each hand and raise my arms to the side of me. Try doing that yourself and after a few minutes it hurts like hell. well my father would watch for half a freakin hour and if we put our arms down he would spank us with a piece of 2X4. so basically your not being harsh enough. spank her *** ground her to her room, no books no tv nothing just sit there.Or take a more productive route and make her clean the dam house. comeon woman get a freakin back bone. Have you called her dad yet? ohh wait till he gets home and have a family meeting. Also discuss this with her tell her she is 12 and your the adult what you say goes and if she dosnt like if well tuff. Life sucks some times just deal with it. I cant believe you only took away her tv and cell phone. Ohh btw im 21 as well and you know waht I get looks constantly too. nothing I can do so there is nothing you can do either right. And yeah I dress business casual as well. ohh btw Id shave her f*ck!n head. see if she disobeys again. dammit that makes me angry.
2006-09-20 08:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by leaves_of_autumn171311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rather than look at her actions you might do well to look at her REASONS for the actions...................for instance her mum died at avery young age, so she was left alone....her grand parents no longer want her..again left alone..........[not really whats happened but thats how she will see it more or less] and then dumped with new wife and DADS gone..........again left alone
If it is at all possible I think you should seek some counseling for her and also as a family..........you might also find she resents you as you are much younger than her peers mum's and as such stand out more [just for your youth not what you wear] and if they make comments re you [good or bad] it sort of singles her out yet again.
Out of interest WHERE did the police find her ??? This also might give a clue as to where 'she' is at the moment.
What ever action you do as a punishment you MUST get her dad on board with it, and maybe prior to him going away working next time you can ALL discuss actions and punishments...ie she does THIS..her punishment WILL be......... so that he is seen by her to be handing over the joint reins of responsibility to you whilst he is away
Good luck with this............
2006-09-20 08:48:32 · answer #4 · answered by candy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a 15 year old ok, that doesnt sound harsh at all- if she is going to act like that then she needs to face the consequences, my younger sister who was 10 is now 12 is a spoiled brat because no one would punish her, i on the other hand was punished for things i did wrong and i try to stay on the good side now its not very hard when i think about how i was punished. my step mom and i have a very good relationship it took us a while to get there but we got there she is like my second mother just act naturally and try not to force things on her if she doesnt want to talk to you about things dont make her and she if there is someone else that she would rather talk to, hope that i could help
2006-09-20 08:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by music*rocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were too harsh. But you do need to set down some ground rules for her. It sounds like she needs a lesson in respect, cause if i would have done that stuff at her age my butt would have been in a lot worse trouble. It does sound like she needs to see a counselor, so she can talk about the issues she has in her life. Good luck.
2006-09-20 08:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by scorpiobby20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually dont believe this story. Or, if you feel a need to describe your ht, wt, dress, workout, etc....maybe you dont project much of a mother figure to your poor step daughter. Parents are gone, grandparents are gone and she's only 12yo left with a 2 yo and a vain woman who probably doesnt pay any attention to her unless she does something stupid. Send her to my house, I'll give her a home.
2006-09-20 08:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's all you did. You took away her cell phone, TV and some clothes. Man I wish you had been my parent. My parents would have grounded me for a year,beat my butt and I would have been lucky if I got to eat that night. Too harsh not even close!
2006-09-20 08:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by LJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family counseling...your whole family...and you should dicuss things with her father...she' just acting up...you have to learn how to communicate with her...she maybe just upset ...she's lost her mother her grandparents a now a big move with a mom she doesn't know very well.she's probably in shock . Give her sometime to understand that you're stable and reliable. Let her know you care about what is going on in her life.
2006-09-20 08:46:54 · answer #9 · answered by Boo Boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read an answer here, saying that if a child behave bad it's because he/she feels bad.
I don't think punishment will improve the situation. Caring and understanding would.
By the way, you're quite young too...very hard responsibility for you...
2006-09-20 08:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by xxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋