She's had bad experiences with sex, the first being quick and painful (he cheated on her with another friend). The second quick and the third almost forced (she was drunk). Now she doesn't say she'll never do it again, but I can tell she's afraid. I've had good experiences and I know if she did it would help. So how can I help her get over this (and don't say do it with her, I'm not that way)?
Please no hate answers, they are just a waste of space.
2006-09-20 08:06:37 · 19 answers · asked by slyshewolf 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to let her make her own mistakes and learn from them. She needs time to heal from all that bad experiences. It sound like you both are still young. Tell her not to act so stupid and getting herself drunk and hanging out with random guys. Give it time.
2006-09-20 08:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are a true friend you will talk to her about it and convince her she needs to go get some counceling. If it will help, maybe you could attend the first couple of sessions. But she needs to see someone who can help her work through the emotional aspects of these past experiances - especially the the third one.
Just a note.. being drunk and "almost forced" is still rape. There isn't anything such as 'almost forced' either she said yes or no. And if it was no it was rape. for this reason alone I would get her into counceling.
2006-09-20 15:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may need to seek counseling. She could also be waiting to have sex again with the right person. Which ever one it is she will do it on her own time. I can understand her being scared to have sex if she was "almost forced" She can seek a rape counseler. I bet it will help. I don't know anyone that was almost forced. There is yes and no. No means no, drunk or not. She also may not want to have sex with another man she may be lesiban, and there's nothing wrong with that.
2006-09-20 15:11:46 · answer #3 · answered by alwyzn2somthn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start with gentle foreplay and don't make her feel like anything but the most precious cherished woman on the planet, not just during intimate times but for as long as possible. Be sensitive, kind, listen to her, let her cry on your shoulder whenever she needs it. Even if you are already doing these things, think it over and see what else you can do or step it up a notch. But be SINCERE, otherwise you'll damage her more. How much do you love her? Show her. Cuddle every night, too.
2006-09-20 15:11:05 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well it seems like your friends bein throught a lot nut you can't force her to get over it because it will always be a painful part of her life. but eventually she will find some one that loves and adores her and she will find that he won't force it on her and hurt her likr that but all you really can do is incourage her to keep her options open when it comes to boy, to not settle for anything that is less than what she deserves and to be there for her.
2006-09-20 15:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by miixed_bella_904*dis da real 1* 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say that if it go's bad the first time keep on trying cuz sooner or later it will get better
2006-09-20 15:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by dirtbikeridegirl2001 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel you should stop talking to her about sex.
Seems to me youre looking for a way to get into her pants. She's afraid cuz youre pushing it, the subject!
2006-09-20 15:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
nothing, she has to do this on her own. I've been there like her,in time this will change.right now sheput herself in a protection mode. all you can do is be there for her by talking, don't push her, until she is ready.
2006-09-20 15:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by patricia h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to push her into it. Just be supportive and let her know that you're there for her. Tell her of your experience and then simply tell her to wait until she's ready.
2006-09-20 15:09:10 · answer #9 · answered by Rance D 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
she needs to go through it in her own time, its her own experiences so she will have to deal with them in her own way. you can't 'show' her that there are good men out there, she has to find that out for herself and learn to trust.
its good she has a friend tho.. if ur not really talking about yourself that is..
2006-09-20 15:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋