My girlfriend of 2 years, who i also live with has started to talk about the coming holidays and what are plans are going to be. Both of us have parents who are divorced and have re-married, so there are 4 sets of parents between the 2 of us. Also, i got bcak from a year in iraq a couple months ago and because i was over there, i wasnt able to spend the holidays with my family. Now, she wants to split the holidays, my fam for thanksgiving (mainly because her parents have other plans no including her) and then xmas with her family. None of the familys live in the same state but close enough to drive. My problem with this is, I want to spend the holidays with my family. Is it mean to tell her maybe we could split for the day so she can go to her family(s) and i can stay with mine. I like her family alot but I wanst around for thanksgiving and xmas last year and I really want to spend the time with my family.
2006-09-20 07:53:42 · 14 answers · asked by MR. Poland 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would stay together (just the two of you) for Thanksgiving and then split up for Christmas. Plan to have Christmas together the week before or after and make it really special. Make dinner together (pick out the menu together, shop for it together etc), wrap her present in beautiful paper/ribbons (girls love this--have a department store do it if you can't). Be sure to include a surprise in the tree for her to search for (a special piece of jewelry, coupons (hmmm), etc). If you make the day special for her then maybe it won't be so hard to be apart. I would hope that she would understand your need to be with your family since you were unable to be with them last year. Be sure to make Thanksgiving special too. Spend the day together or with friends. Make this day special too. Remind her that you are thankful for her.
2006-09-20 08:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by bsbllmm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried having both family's come to you and your girlfriend? it may solve the problem. if not I would really suggest talking to here and telling her all of this she may not know how you really feel and how much it means to you. I would not suggest that you spend the holidays at separate places that may be taken as a sign that all is not going so well between you two,
2006-09-20 08:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by friendjen2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a similar situation and yes she will probably get either mad or disappointed. However, the negative emotions will only be there because she wants to spend time with you. That is a good thing. I think if you are honest and calm and understanding (that's key, let he know you understand and you would LIKE to be with her too but its very important for you to see your family). It will hurt her feelings but if you do it right, it will be very temporary
2006-09-20 07:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by Skiball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have explained your rationale to your girlfriend, and she doesn't understand your desire to be with your family for at least part of the holidays, something is wrong in your relationship. If both sets of families are close enough to drive, she can visit her family at any time.
2006-09-20 07:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had that problem when I was married. We spent the night before the holiday with one set of parents and then switched off for christmas.
So thanksgiving we were with his parents the night before and mine for thanksgiving day then on xmas we were with mine on xmas eve and his on xmas day. The next year we would switch it around.
It worked out pretty good that way.
2006-09-20 07:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by kimmi_35 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should definitely talk to her about that.. I mean I would understand if you wanted to go with your family for the holidays since you didn't get to see them.... Tell her how you feel about it and hope that she's very understanding
2006-09-20 08:01:14 · answer #6 · answered by Foxxy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wheter or not she gets mad is dependant on here level of maturity. I would want to be with my family too if I was away from them for so long. Hopefully she will try to understand.
2006-09-20 08:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by ami mena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just explain to her that it's not that you don't want to spend time with her family, but after missing last christmas it would mean a lot to you to spend it with your family.
2006-09-20 07:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have all the family come to your house. regardless of the divorced parents--force them to act like adults
2006-09-20 07:58:13 · answer #9 · answered by TheMaverick.The Artist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her. you have your whole lives TOGETHER.. and i don't know how old your parents are.. but i know you aren't going to have as much time with them as you have with yours.. the children in your family will grow up and wont be able to see you.. you will grow WITH your girlfriend.. if she does get mad.. she'll get over it.. you can't LIVE YOUR LIFE completely evolved around her.. and if she loves you even HALF as much as i love my boyfriend.. she'll miss you. of course.. but she WILL understand.
2006-09-20 07:58:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋