A few months back she had an abortion because the guy that got her pregnant was no good and a druggie. She was already seeing a guy who she had been with for two years but went with this other guy out of revenge because her boyfriend hurt her(in the result she got pregnant). She had an abortion and felt like part of it was to keep her bf of two years(he never knew about abortion). Now things have changed between them and she wished she kept her baby and has been feeling really down and gets upset whenever she see's a baby,how can i help her?
2006-09-20 07:45:42 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She needs counseling to cope with her depression. Try to be there for her and maybe do some research on the subject, unfortunately this is not going to be easy and will take awhile for her to get better.
2006-09-20 07:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very sad to hear that. Your friend did what she felt was right for her to do at the time. Let her know that you are there for her while she grieves over her decision and her loss. It's never an easy thing to get over. With the help of a good friend to talk to about it, it will definitely be alot easier. The best thing you can do for her is to listen to her and don't judge her. Let her cry on your shoulder, pray with her and just be there when she is feeling down. Crying cleanses the soul. Unfortunately, you can't keep her from seeing babies around her but gently remind her, if she brings up her sadness, that she did what was right for her. If the guy that got your friend pregnant was a druggie, her baby may have had some serious problems anyway. God works in mysterious ways. You sound like a very good friend. My heart goes out to you both.
2006-09-20 08:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by momma g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST: I think that the abortion was wrong, because how could she know that it was from the guy she went out with(DRUGGIE) or her boy friend, sounds like to me she really didn't know and didn't want to get caught.
SECOND: You seem to know too much about the situation, the druggie, 2yr time in a relationship, the hurt caused by the boy friend, the change in things and the doubts she is now going through.
Not even a close friend could explain it any better and I say this because, in your writing, you sound to young to know any better and to get on the Internet to discuss a friends problem.
Tell your friend to seek some sort of counseling at a family planning facility, its free.
Also, since you mentioned that this guy is or was a druggie, perhaps she may also want to get tested, just to be safe, before she get with her boy friend.
2006-09-20 08:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by WOODSAK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help her.
Forget the whole argument about if abortion is right or wrong, many women feel this way afterwards. My friend was very Catholic and had one instead of telling her parents and she NEVER got over it. I only know one woman who doesn't feel bad and she had an abortion after being brutally raped.
The only thing she can do is seek professional counseling. There isn't anything you can tell her that will help with the pain. She has to understand you can't change the past and she has to move on.
2006-09-20 07:51:04 · answer #4 · answered by Sara 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to understand, that she saved herself from an awkward situation. Why would she bring a baby into the world when she is not even stable w/ a particular person, considering, she got pregnant from a guy she was cheating w/.. I had an abortion a few months ago... I don't feel guilty, because I am not in a situation tot ake care of a baby properly.. She needs to look at the positives instead of feeling guilty... The situation would be worst if she had the baby... She needs to think about that.
2006-09-20 07:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by qbanita0113 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The morality of the matter and whether or not she should feel guilty is irrelevant here as it doesn't answer the question.
Even women who feel their conscience is clear after an abortion can become depressed and experience an extremely powerful sense of loss. This can last for a very long time, and is the result of physiological as well as psychological factors.
Professional counselling is essential, and you can help your friend by pointing her in this direction.
2006-09-20 08:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by CANAILLE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could say let the depression stew her because she deserves it hurt or not. The baby didnt offend her its the guy who did.
You could scream at her for these and guess what? she would fell a sense of defense and she would be like its not my fault i did what I had to do. that could stop her guilt and another is making sure she comes clean with the guy about the abortion, it wouldhelp if he forgives her. But please whatever u do let the depression stay cause never in her life will she ever think of killing another innocent body.
2006-09-20 07:55:32 · answer #7 · answered by tebuny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if the guy was a druggie what makes her think her baby would of been healthy or survived. Be a firend and mention she did the right thing better to not have brought a baby into the world for a few hours. She probably would of suffered more if she would have gone through with the pregnancy and had the baby die hours later.
2006-09-20 07:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by pezzle9 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
only thing you can do is BE there for her and help her through this difficult time in her life. she has just made a very hard decision so of course it will take her time to get over it my advice is for her to try and have some counselling which by the way should be free because after having an abortion they should offer her help to get through the pain and her depression. well done for being there for her and asking for advice on how to help
good luck
2006-09-20 07:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by BabyPinkRocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those feelings are normal, but you can't change the past.
A baby shouldn't be used as a comfort.
At the time your friend made the decision that was best for her at the time.
And Guilt and wondering usually come with that choice.
You friend should get into a shrink just for someone to talk to and sort things out.
It is something you never get over but the pain eases with time.
2006-09-20 07:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by TIA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This will be hard for her, as you know, but you have to stand by her and reassure her it was the right decision. You can 'what if' for hours but that won't change what has happened. She will have other opportunities and at better times, reassure her it will all be ok in the end and not to fret. If the father was no good, not to mention into drugs, it was the best decision she could have made. She did what was best and she needs to believe that and move on. The future is a wide open space waiting for her to move into it and fill it with a new chapter of her life.
2006-09-20 07:51:36 · answer #11 · answered by Andromeda Newton™ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋