This happens a lot when we're out, even though we're with friends (mostly all couples) He'll say, im just going over here to talk to these people & then pretty much leave me on my own for the night. We're went to a wedding a few weeks ago, and he did the same thing, said he was going for a cigeratte & left me, when i went down to see where he was, he was chatting to another woman, who we know & is married. But i goy upset! for the fact that i was on my own at a table with other couplse (he did sit through-out the meal part with me) I dont want to say out right, how i feel, because then'll he will only say i'm over reacting. I love him to bits & for what he tells me he feels the same. I just need some advice on how to maybe prove a point? That when we got out has a couple it would be nice to maybe spend some time has a couple...
2006-09-20 07:34:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't feel you are overreacting at all. You have a reasonable reason to be upset. My boyfriend stays around me, but doesn't talk to me as much when we hang out with his friends, Im okay with it because I have his attention all the time. Now, why didn't he ask you to go out with him for a smoke? why doesn't he ask you to go with him when he "talks" to other people? and over all, talking to that other woman? yeah I would be pissed. Hun I know you love him, but you have to do what's fair to you, tell him how you feel. Just don't be mean about it. If he gets upset because your telling him your feelings, is he really worth it? Be honest with him, you do not deserve to be treated like that. Let me know how it goes.
2006-09-20 07:38:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This happens something but it is definetly not a good thing. It could be as a result of him being bored because u do the same thing everytime. Maybe you dont have the same intrests. Some guys want intelligent women who they can speak too, some j ust want sex, some want both. He may have views on politics and you may have view on clothes, ofcourse he'll ignore u. If thats the case, try to understand his views so u can speak with him on that as well.
Moreover, if you go out all the time, he will be bored and possibly annoyed by your presence. Spend some lone time and give him his time. He will miss you, you will miss him and that will develop his and ur intrests in seeing each other and bonds. so when he actually sees you he will want to be with u not with someone else.
Just study why, when u know why he's been like that, counter-act it. If it is his parents who wants him to find another man, please them, If he likes another woman, u cant force him to like u. It will only make u miserable staying by him. Let him go if thats the case and later on he will remember y he came to u and come back to u. Maybe
FInally it may not be all these things that I stated, he could be doing that unconscipusly, talk to him about it.
2006-09-20 14:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by tebuny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let him know how you feel. The same thing happened with me and my girlfriend, and because I didn't say anything we broke up (eventually got back together), but it can put a lot of strain and unneeeded hurt in your life. Maybe he just wants some 'me' time when you two are out together, because he's around you so much at home (I assume you live together) or with you at other times. His need for other socialization leads him to seek out other people to talk to, but I don't think it is because he doesn't love you. Just give him some space, and if you really want to spend time with him, go out alone as a couple. Double dates and social events are made to talk to others, and you're boyfriend just wants to do what everyone else is. But I would say just have a talk with him and figure out the best way to solve this problem.
2006-09-20 14:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has a lot to do with maturity. My husband and I often mingle apart at parties - the fun part is catching each other's eye across the room and flirting from a far. But in this case it sounds like maybe your boyfriend is still young and a bit self centred? He's not thinking outside of himself yet.
Trust your gut feeling. I recommend the book "He's Just Not That Into You" .
You might try pulling away a little. Make him work for YOUR attention - next time, take off on him before he takes off on you. Let him miss you a little. Don't answer the phone next time he calls - tell him you're busy next time he wants to do something with you. Make him a little jealous. If he doesn't start working harder to be with you dump him and find someone who adores you!
2006-09-20 14:44:07 · answer #4 · answered by family_matters 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him take you out to eat at a place you really like order the apetizers drinks the works, then after you eat, tell him you have to go to the restroom, Have the waitress deliver him a note that you have already pre-written, to give him with the check, saying that now you know how it feels to be left you SOB dont ever call me again its over, by the way thanks for dinner it was great,
Signed
you've screwed over me for the last time
2006-09-20 21:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by kalela L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if you are his Sun light. If he says whats that supposed to mean tell him you need to be with the person who needs you the most. So if your out and he keeps leaving you alone he must not truly need you to help light his way. If that's the case you need to go find the guy that wants you as the focus point of his universe.
2006-09-20 14:40:52 · answer #6 · answered by Chivalry77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You MUST confront him about this ASAP, tell him you love him but that he must take you seriously. You need to know what his behind this and take care of this now, if and before you get married. Trust me, I am talking from experience. When you love someone, when you are happy with someone you want to spend a lot of time with that person. If he does not enjoy spending time with you you have to SERIOUSLY think about your relationship.
Just in case, make sure is not insecurity in your part too.
2006-09-20 14:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what to do because I have a similar problem. I guess conforntaion is the key. My fiance and I are in love and we tell each other all the time and kiss, hug, and hold hands when it is just me and her. But when we are in public she sometimes ignore me when I say I love her and she doesn't want to hold my hand, kiss me, or show any other affection
2006-09-20 14:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by limpkornrock7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time he asks you to go out, say no. Explain to him that all he does when you two go out is ignor you, so you don't want to go just to be ignored. You have a choice in the matter. don't let him walk all over you.
2006-09-20 14:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by PeeWee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you go out next and he does this again, go find another man to start a conversation with and he will get the point.
2006-09-20 14:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋