Well my ex and have been through alot and now were best friends. even though i know about him having sex with a few girls (2) and he tells me everthing like when he does it, and i was hanging out with him the other day and when i got home i felt sad because i missed him. i have a lot of love for him and i wish we were still together. yes, he moved on but it's clear i haven't and tried to get with someone else but it didn't work, and i shouldn't like him any more because he's a player and a hoe but i still do. i get so mad at myself because of my feelings. it was my fault we broke up but before that he was always a flirt and a cheat. i need to get over him i just don't know how. i can't stop being his friend because that would hurt me even more. Help!! i need alot of it.
2006-09-20 07:21:13 · 26 answers · asked by Lu-Lu - hopelessly romantic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hun, i went through the exact same thing for 3 years. i was best friends with my ex and it killed me everyday more and more. and he would tell me about other girls, even though he knew it hurt. he was a selfish person who would rather have had me around, because he knew i would always be there. because i loved him. plain and simple. and i let him walk all over me. i used to say the same thing: "it would hurt more if we stopped being friends." i am here to tell you, that is so false. you don't think so right now, but i am telling you, i am so happy with my life now that he is gone. when you break up with someone, you have to break up. being best friends just extends the inevitable. he doesn't want to be with you, otherwise he would be. and he should, because you are amazing! anyone who has the capability to love somone so much to put up with this is amazing. but you have to let him go. you have to. i am living proof that once you cut the tie, once you decide you won't put yourself through this anymore, you will be so much happier and stronger. i promise
2006-09-20 07:29:46 · answer #1 · answered by heavnlysinger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The second trust is broken you can never go back. Love is absolute trust. If you think he is the kind of guy that cheats it is truly better that you avoid him. Most people that try to stay friends are always in the back of their minds thinking of how it would be if the got back together again. If he knows you want to be with him and he still hangs around with you he is using you as a pillow for when he needs a break or place to fall back on. You shouldn't be mad at your self for liking him so much. Our minds will always see things as they were. I was in your foot steps beforee. It hurts like hell but you need to let him go as a friend too Or you will never be able to heal and move on. The night is at its darkest hour just befor the sun rises. Good luck I hope this helps some.
2006-09-20 07:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by Chivalry77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do right now is not have any contact with him. You need time to get over him and believe me I know, it can take a long time to get over a relationship. The reason you are feeling these things is because you miss what you use to have right? But all you are thinking about are the good times.
Think about all the times he flirted with other girls or cheated on you. Did you like the relationship then? Did he make you feel good then?
You cannot be friends with him until you are 100% percent over him and realize how much happier your life will be once you meet somebody who will treat you like you want to be treated.
2006-09-20 07:31:13 · answer #3 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him alone for a little while so you can sort things out internally. You need to move on. Without moving on you are causing yourself to not have a new relationship. This happened to me and my ex husband. He was the same way but I still cared about him. I purposefully did not date for 2 years. I was miserable because I saw he had moved on. I refused to let go. When I final did date someone there was no turning back. In hindsight I would not have waited 2 years before dating again. So in conclusion separate yourself from him and start dating. And try not to compare every person you date to your ex. Keep moving forward and you will do fine.
2006-09-20 07:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Nelly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is probably one of the more intreasting questions I've seen on here.
This really isn't that healthy, because basically you are boyfriend/girlfriend without the label and being physical. I suggest you just try and make a clean break from him, and if he still has some feeling there, then he'll come back. If not, your starting the process of getting over someone who doesn't care about you - which is a good thing either way.
2006-09-20 07:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by hellfirsthand 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar position right now. I just try to say focused on school and whatever else. It's hard when they've moved on and you're still stuck. But don't do anything rash. Stay on your game and work at improving your Life, that way when the next perfson comes around all your ducks are in a row and you will have a better relationship with them.
2006-09-20 07:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by Luxifer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that you need to just break it off completely with him because that seems to be the reason why you can't move on. If you know that he is no good for you then you need to just move on. I hope that I'm not out of place saying this, but I don't think that it's the fact that you miss him I think that you miss all the good times and maybe want them back. Maybe if you just stay away for a while it will help with that.
2006-09-20 07:28:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
AW THAT SUCKS SO MUCH ***. i know what you mean...and i dont know the answer to that. how old are you? why dont you go to a club or the gym and see who you meet there? let loose and get on the dance floor dont be shy. i know someone has to hit you up and maybe one of those guys will be right for you. Even if you got back with him, you said he played you like monopoly...you know thats now a good idea...either do that or get drunk with him and have sex. maybe he'll spill the beans and say he likes you back, he still talks to you for a reason right?
2006-09-20 07:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by gmoney 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're right, you definitely shouldn't like him. he sounds like such a player! my advice would be to date often, and you will find someone better than him. don't give up...keep yourself busy and TRY not to spend too much time with him. believe it or not, this 'friend' thing is just hurting you more and isn't letting you move on. i'm not saying you should stop being his friend completely, just that you should try to see him less and see other guys more.
good luck! :)
2006-09-20 07:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by annie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't choose who you love, and you don't stop caring about someone just because your not together. Just respect yourself more than to let someone take advantage of you. Learn that you are a valuable person and deserve to be treated well.
2006-09-20 07:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by Cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋