My children live with their dad, and he's new girlfriend. And her three children.
2006-09-20 06:51:49 · 10 answers · asked by RDark 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
spend QUALITY time with them.
2006-09-20 06:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
always let your children know that even though they don't live with you, they can still always depend on you if they need help or just someone to talk to. Make it clear to the children that whatever the problem was between you and your spouse, they were not to blame for the split (it was not their fault)! Do-Not discuss any negative feelings you may have about your X or his new mate around or with the children. Most of all just be mom and spend as much time as you can with your kids, and let them know you are still their Mother, and they are still your Children
2006-09-20 07:17:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a constant and caring mother... let them you know you are always there for them, love them... don't try to be their best friends or buy them out.... Be consistant, go to their school functions, and extra activities... Take them each one by one to spend some extra time... Do things as a family.. keep communication open with father and new girlfriend... don't worry about the extra kids... that just means she has experience, and the kids have more family to depend on...
I don't think it's a question of what kind of mom you are if you don't live with them... it is a decision you and their father make... just keep yourself available to them.
2006-09-20 07:31:24 · answer #3 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You live a life with HIGH standards, morally and ethically. You provide a loving home when they visit and you set reasonable boundaries for them. You encourage their efforts in school, sports, etc., and you go to every event you can in their lives (whether their dad and his girlfriend is there or not). You be the one they can count on to support them and NEVER, NEVER cut down their Dad in ANY way (regardless of how you feel). Support his position as their father. Any disagreements you have with the way he is raising them should be discussed with him ONLY (don't get the kids involved). You'll do great that way.
2006-09-20 06:56:54 · answer #4 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CYA (cover your A) is all situations.
Divorce can be bitter, yet not as much as the "power struggle" for the kids. How are you going to accept this "New family"? Is it best and healthiest way to approach this situation regarding all the kids to be (his) (hers) (theirs) (mine) will you just have yours or all of them? That is a huge choice and a selfless one.
Its in the details. What are the ages?
Go low-tech- send postcards to them, weekly reminders you love them. Good job at school! Great soccer game on Saturday.
I love the postcards, that will show everyone from the postman to the girlfriend you love them! That's really important for all of you!
I got a Teacher's art guidebook, and we shared art time together and we had "dollar store" frames and made handprints, footprints and colored photos (copy center kinko's) and make us special "just us" memories. You are always MOM, so wear that title and put it on everything.
TO extent an olive branch- take an historical old 'family" baby picture with title it Your Mommy and Your Daddy's greatest achievement- the incredible, beautiful YOU! [That way, the marriage was not good, but the rewards were worth that pain- the kids.]
Are they on the computer? Yahoo.group them with others of "your side of family" so that you can have midnight chats, just like other "cool" kids do. So grandma can chat with them as well. My MOM loves that! [never write one negative word on this]
Be real, don't be disneyland MOM and buy their love, it will be a lifetime pricetag of guilt. Share your life, take them to YOUR life from the gym, work, church and walk the dog at the park. Make your standing Friday night- [pizza/game night at your house). Be there in their lives on weeknights for soccar practice and weekends as a part of their life. STAND STRONG with or without a mate. Your focus is the kids and you life with them. In your home or not.
Avoid any powerstruggle with the ex-hubby or other woman, by just telling them the truth. Split the hobbies and share the drive time and such, they need us both and we as responsible parents realize that is the most important part. SO working together as s team will make them better children and adults.
We both want to be happy individuals and our anger is not working for us, so lets strive for a healthy "un union".
For you- try PAIRS international- its a interpersonal therapy program to help you work through any negative emotions and id them working in others and the tools to handle them. IT will change your life and many divorced couples actually take them as a couple to be better parents. IT radiates out into their own "new" relationship.
2006-09-20 07:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stop being mom. Your kids know you and never let them forget. Keep times spent together happy and fun. Just because your ex has a girl, doesn't mean you have to stay clear of them. Keep your children in your life,They need you. Wish you luck.
2006-09-20 06:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by tee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you would have to ask yourself the question why are your kids living with their dad. The answer to your question would be to just spend as much time with them as you can. Let them know that you love them everyday and never let them see you at your weakest. They need you to be strong and try your best to let them know they are the most important things in your life.
2006-09-20 06:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By continue to be in their lives and showing Love. Be a positive role model in their eyes!
Do this and your children will not forget you!
2006-09-20 06:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by Doc Rick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure to be there for them. Do what you feel is right and I am sure you will do fine. Call them often, send them a card, make sure they know you love them.
2006-09-20 06:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by Becky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't they live with you. it seems like they have enough kids as it is.
2006-09-20 06:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋