how do you deal with a friends suicide?

Question

I'm taking this really really REALLY bad. I've known her since we were 2 years old, she was always the one constant in my life. I don't think i've felt anything like i'm feeling now. I can't eat, I can't breathe. I knew she was struggling, but I never thought it would come to this.
I also have questions on the religious aspect. I hope God would have enough love to realize when someone is hurting that bad, or in not full control of their mind, that he would be forgiving of them. He is a forgiving God, right? Thats why he sent Jesus, isn't it?

Also, we were both 25. She was born 7 months before me and was my neighbor (that is how we became friends from the beginning). But that is another part that is tearing me apart. She was so young.

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I know it's hard but try to understand as best you can, what she was going through. Sometimes things are just to much for people to deal with and they cant take it anymore. ( i've felt like this more than once in my life).
I know its hard but you have to try and understand that people have different ways of dealing with things, and some people are better at dealing with emotional issues than others.
As for god, I belive that he is forgiving otherwise not many people would get into heaven. So I'm pretty sure that your friend is up there chillin with him, and she not feeling so sad anymore. So in light of that just realize that she isn't feeling so sad anymore.

Answer 2

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend's death. I've never had anything like that happen to me, but you have to remember to take care of yourself. Eat regularly and try to go out and do things (take your dog for a walk, talk to friends, etc.). You may be able to find a support group for people who have lost someone through suicide. I think that newspapers list different support groups. People at these support groups are going through the same thing that you are, and may be able to share personal experiences for how they're getting on with their lives. As for the religious aspect, I wouldn't be too worried about God not forgiving her. I'm not religious, but I don't believe that God would punish someone for commiting suicide. That wouldn't be fair. If God/Heaven/etc. exists, your friend is probably in Heaven, happier than she was before. I hope you'll start feeling better soon.

Answer 3

It is really hard. My father commited suicide and I have had a very hard time with it. You can go to support groups for people who have lost someone really close to them. They are called survivor of suicide groups. The reason that we are called survivors because we are the ones who are left behind. There is grief counselling at the medical investigator. These things are usually free.
You need to feel that what you feel. You need to go through the stages of grief as you can at your own pace. I remember right after wards I was very senstive to unkind words and cired easily. I would also be distrubed by things in movies and upset often at certain times. I had nightmares for a long time.
I just has to be patient with myself. I think about my father more than I did when he was alive now. I think of him every day.

I got better much faster than I ever thought I could. I will always have a certain sadness to myself, but I can experience happiness again. I used to feel like I pulled my grief around like a ball an chain.

I had a relapse this year in my grief after 10 years. It was because someone threatened suicide to me. I got counselling again because someone told me I had no closure. The grief counsellor said I would never have closure from something so painful and that was okay. After a little patching up I was okay again.

I hope that helps. That is just my experience with it. You will find that more people than you expect have been touched by the suicicide of a family member or friend. They told me at the Medical investigator that they get more than murders and our muder rate is high. There are about 2 deaths a day due to suicide. Try to meet some people locally it might really help.

Answer 4

I am so very sorry for your loss! I DO believe that God will have love & compassion for your freind. I believe that God knows what
she was facing in life and that there is no need to punish her any further. People may have different views on this, but Im hoping you have some Spiritual Rapour with God that will give you a foundation of a Loving God.
I belive that Man created God in his image and used that to control people. God as a force in this Universe is a foce of love not vengence. Hell was man's idea, is my point.
My heart aches for your grief and I hope that you find someone to talk to; a minister, a therapist SOMEONE!! You need more than this web site to supoort you and help you thru this loss.
My prayers are with you and your friend.

Answer 5

Yes, God is a forgiving God. I am a pastor and I've tried to commit suicide I don't know how many times. I know God has forgiven me. Your faith will get you through.
Death brings many stages of grief. You can find them on the net or in Kubler-Ross, the field's pioneer. Expect anger at self and her, depression, sorrow, numbness, and the rest. The symptoms come in any order and may repeat themselves.
Understand that you did not cause this and you could not have prevented it.
If you don't know what to pray, that's normal. You can start by thanking God for your friend's place in your life and for your place in hers. Thank him for his mercy. Connect to the main pipeline.

Answer 6

Ok, first of all, it is NOT YOUR FAULT!
and yes, my God forgives suicides--because anyone who would cause such great harm to themselves in that manner was not in their right mind, so yes, God forgives.
AND...there was nothing you could do. If she was gonna do it, she was gonna do it...no matter what!
And here's the kicker. Doesnt it suck that she is now "at peace" but she left a shitstorm behind--look how you feel--how about her parents, sisters/brothers/gramma/grampa? All this misery and woe left behind because of what she did....See? Suicide is selfish, it only hurts the self for the second before death, but it slowly kills those left behind.
Do something in her memory, even if it's just planting one flower in your own yard.

Answer 7

Get in touch with the Jason Foundation. www.jasonfoundation.com or call them toll free at 1-888-881-2323. This foundation was set up to help.

Most faiths now recognize suicide as a result of a medical condition and that the person was not cognizant of their actions.

I am sorry for your loss, get help and survive this terrible experience. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 8

You should see a grief counselor or call your Deacon, someone you can talk with and get advice on how to deal with it. But this will be something you will never get over, you will just learn how to live with the loss of your friend, it will be less painful with time, but won't really ever go away entirely.

Answer 9

By the sound of things, you will be dealing with your friends suicide, forever. It should help you to know that God DOES forgive. She is with him now and has comfort, find some for yourself.

Answer 10

think about it this way, god doesnt forgive everything unless youve accepted christ, committing suicide is taking away the life god gave her and putting it into her own hands instead of his, unless she knew christ, there was something seriously wrong that needed to be relieved, she needed you around more than ever. i know thats a harsh reality but its the truth.