Why do I have to ask my daughter to do things more than once?

Answer 1

I would try sitting her down and telling her that she has one of two choices, she either does as she is told or choice #2 she can stay in her room till she wants to do as she was told.

There is no way your child is going to listen to you the first time unless there is some kind of consequence for her to begin with. But have no worries she will come to know what these consequences are in a very short time if you stick to your guns.

Hope I helped?

Answer 2

She's a child. Its what kids do, both as a stage and frankly if you let her do it, its an effective way to get what she wants. Why do puppies not come when they are called? You might not see the simularity but depending on the age,... Why come to you when there's a shiny ball over there that's all sorts of fun and mom's going to do is nag, grab, whack or force me to do something I don't want to do. Seriously when was the last time you kids didn't respond immediately to the word "Cookie!"?

How do you get a dog to come to you when you call it and its running up the street chasing a cat and loving every minute of it? When it comes to you, you love it more. Even when you want to ring its neck. The next time it will remember that the cat was great, but its approval and love from you that it wants more. This and clear and immediate and consistant non-violent consequences for not listening are the only methods I've seen that work.

Well not exactly, the other option is sheer fear, but I don't like seeing kids (or dogs) respond out of fear of their parents. Better they know what's right and do it because it makes sense to them.

Hope this helps...
-Rob

Answer 3

It depends on her age. By the time my daughters were about 4 or 5, I no longer had to tell them twice to do anything. I've always been firm but never really had to be stern for the most part. They are really sweet girls. I am anticipating at least some rebellion when they become teenagers, but from what I have seen, it usually passes if you stick to your guns.

My strategy has always been to teach them honor and respect for their parents from about the time they learned how to communicate verbally. In addition, I have never begged them to do anything. They have always known from the start that I always say what I mean and mean what I say. Also, I have never made idle threats. Actually, I've never used threats at all that I can really remember. One more thing, I seldom raise my voice to my children. I only do that when it's a safety issue or something very serious.

Just keep in mind that children learn how to interact with others by testing the limits. It is up to you as a parent to establish boundaries and give your child a reason to respect those boundaries.

Answer 4

I'm only 20 and I've started to realize that the reason I never did things the first time was because I was just lazy or didn't care, but now that I live on my own, I can appreciate the fact that my family nagged me and told me to do so much because now no one is there to tell me what to do and I have to be the one to take the initiative, which I do. Something that I might not have if I was allowed to do whatever I want.

Answer 5

While it is typical of kids to be asked several times before they actually do what is asked of them this will pass. There are however actions you can take to help them stay tuned. They need to know that there are definite consequences for their inaction. Last month, I got tired of the 3 teens and 1 pre-teen leaving their clothing on the floor right where they took it off. I printed up a flyer and hung it in a place they would definitely see. It read : EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY ANY AND ALL CLOTHING LEFT ON THE FLOOR WILL BE CONSIDERED TRASH INCLUDING JERSERYS!

ANY AND ALL TOYS,CD'S,GAMES LEFT OUT WILL BE CONSIDERED UNWANTED AND WILL BE TRASH!

I then spent the next day throwing away several pairs of shorts and a few other items. I informed them after dinner of the tally of garments lost that day. That was over a month ago. I haven't had the problem since.

They are also responsible for cleaning the kitchen after dinner. I got tired of telling them so I said nothing one evening. The dishes were there the next morning. I cleaned them. UGH! I hate to wake to a dirty kitchen. Anyway, that afternoon when they arrived home and asked me what was for dinner. I told them that I wasn't cooking since they didn't do their part yesterday : I felt no need to do mine today. They had to fend for themselves that evening. Since then; they do it without being told.

I have since learned that I spent far too many years repeating myself because they didn't think there would actually be any consequences. Now they know differently. :*)

Answer 6

because she has trained you to do that. You two are feeding off each other. If you ask her to turn off the television, and she doesn't, then just calmly walk over to it and turn it off. Don't say anything. Don't nag. If she wants to go to a friends' house and she hasn't taken out the trash or whatever you've asked her to do, then ask if she has done her chore. She'll get the picture eventually.

Answer 7

Well, how old is she? Sometimes kids forget things. My mom said that when I was little, and she asked me to go do something (like go upstairs and get something), before I did it she'd get me to repeat what she said so I would remember. Maybe try that with your daughter.

Answer 8

apparently her boundries haven't been adequately defined. Try keeping it simple... (assuming we have a little attention issue). Also let her know what will happen if she doesn't do something (like clean her room). give a specific time you expect it to be done. Let her know the consequences and be consistant. You might want to ask her to repeat what you just asked so that she's clear on what is expected.

Answer 9

Quite simple. She has learned that she doesn't need to respond the first time you ask. Most likely because you remind her (and, perhaps, remind her, and remind her, and remind her). Let her know that the pattern is going to end. Then end it. Tell her once and if she does not respond, lower the boom--er, consequences. She'll change.

Answer 10

She Could Be Going Through A Stage.