i hardly knew my mom. she never told my dad she was pregant. she left me to her friend who had given me to my dad. now my mom is back. the thing is she wants me to see her to get to know her. i hate her for leaving me. i don't want to do anything with her. she wants to get to know her grandchildren.
2006-09-20 05:33:22 · 17 answers · asked by AngelCakes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1) my husband told me that i should gave her a chance
2) dad told me to talk to her and understand
what ist here to understand? she left
2006-09-20 05:33:54 · update #1
You have to do what you think is right. Respect others opinions, but in the end it is your decision. You have to go with your heart and your mother will have to accept whatever your decision is.
2006-09-20 05:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by schoolot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her, even if it's only once, so you have a chance to ask her everything you wanted to know about why she left. She may have done you a favor in leaving if she was going to be a bad mother. If she was on drugs or couldn't handle motherhood for whatever reason, then she did the right thing giving you to your dad. Even if she went through a friend to do it.
The fact she never told your dad she was pregnant tells me she wasn't ready to face being a mother. Was she young? I'm not saying you should/shouldn't have a relationship with her, but it seems you have some unresolved issues to her leaving. If nothing else I think you should try to get answers so you can heal.
2006-09-20 12:43:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know the reason your mom left you with friends? Mabee there was a reason she thought was a good enough reason not to put you in harms way of a situation or predicament she had herself in! I think (my own opinion) you should at least give her the benefit of the dought to explain her abcence in your life all these years! Let her give you the answers you've been looking for all these years and put the past behind! If not you'll always be searching for a part you'll never find!
2006-09-20 13:48:03 · answer #3 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me say, that I am sorry you have to put up with this kind of tumoil.....
Second, you need to make the decision that is most comfortable for you, not for everyone else. You are going to be the one that has to live with it.
The good thing is here that you are an adult and you can call the shots....
But most off all, remember there are two sides to every story, and if you do not talk to her, you may never know.....I would not want to wonder that for the rest of my life.
2006-09-20 12:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should meet with her and find out WHY she left you.
If it is for an understandable reason and it was in your best interest that she did it, you may find you don't hate her. She may have made the best choice in her situation at that time.
If, after finding out why she left you you still feel she shouldn't have and it was wrong for her to do it then at least your feelings are justifiable ( in your opinion ) and you have some closure.
Either way, you come out knowing the real truth and have some peace of mind.
2006-09-20 12:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't necessarily think that you have to get to know her. However, I think that you should talk to her and find out why she made the decision that she did. It wasn't fair to you that she did that. But, maybe in time you will grow to have somewhat of a relationship. I wouldn't expect anyone to just jump right in there with a serious and detailed relationship with a parent they never knew, but I would expect you to let her explain herself. Even if it means you don't want to associate with her. I wouldn't let your children know about her just yet, depending on their age. I would wait to see how your relationship with her goes before bringing them into it. Good luck with the choice that you make, I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-20 15:52:11 · answer #6 · answered by Jessie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. Do whatever is best for you. I am the same way about my biological father. I have been urged by others to get to know him because they say it will fill a hole I have in me. Funny thing is, I don't feel that way. I have always felt that you cannot miss what you never had, so why should I be bothered with it now?
2006-09-20 12:38:28 · answer #7 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People do things for different reasons. You're mom probably knew she couldn't raise you and wanted a better life for you......which is understandable for any mother. Talk to her......find out anything you've ever wanted to know.
2006-09-20 12:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you should talk to her you dont even no the situation that she was in you have to take time to know your mom, mothers and their daughters have a special connection even if u havnt even meet her before it would be a great time to recap on everything, you can let her know that u r still confused as to why she left when you were a baby
2006-09-20 12:38:25 · answer #9 · answered by Dana 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you would not be who you are today if that didn't happen I'm sure you are a stronger person because of it and is she did raise you who know what you would be like today I think it's your choice if you don't want to see your mom I wouldn't for your same reasons good luck
2006-09-20 12:41:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋