my girlfriend and me broke up about a month ago or so,because me and her mom got into it. we talked for the first time 3 days ago,
she couldnt talk cause she was at work,.but we chatted for a little bit she broke down crying telling me how much she misses me and thinks about me....she is 6-7 months pregnant with my kid and she feels its over because of everthing that happened with her mom and me,.she told me she loves me and wants to be with me but she just doesnt know how to go about this with her family,...i just want to know a good gesture to do ,(for my ex) send flowers,..or something...but i dont just want to pop up ,..any suggestions?
2006-09-20 05:22:50 · 6 answers · asked by joe p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if she wants to be with you she needs to stand up to her family. come on, that is your kid she is carrying and you shouldn't have to hide anything.
2006-09-20 05:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Putting her in a position where she has to choose between you and her family is not a show of love. If you want to redeem yourself, approach her and her mother together, and make amends. Sure, you have your side of things, but I am sure that they have theirs, too. You must have empathy and accept their perspective. Empathy shows sincerity. If you love this woman so dearly, it should not be such a stretch to walk in her shoes for a minute. You should also walk in her mothers shoes for a minute. Do this, and tell them what you see. remember that people perceive things differently, and sometimes they perceive things differently than you intended them to. That doen not make it their problem, but rather your problem. You have to step up to the plate and show that you are concerned about the mom's perception. Bringing some flowers for her AND her mother would be a nice gesture......but your biggest gesture would be to show some empathy. Let the mom state her case, and do not defend yourself or explain things away. Realize that everyone's feelings are legitimate, even if you don't agree or understand them. Find out why they feel the way they do, and accept any responsibility for anything you have done to contribute to those feelings. And remember, you don't always have to be "right".
2006-09-20 05:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SENDING FLOWERS IS GOOD OR SOMETHING REALLY THOUGHTFUL LIKE A GREAT BOOK THAT SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED IF SHE LIKES TO READ, I MEAN YOU WERE WITH HER SO YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES HER SMILE. THOUGHTFUL THINGS ARE ALWAYS NICE BECAUSE IT TAKES THOUGHT, AND IT'S FROM THE HEART. IT COULD BE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A PICNIC BASKET FULL OF HER FAVORITE JUNK FOOD SNACKS I KNOW SHE HAS CRAVINGS CAUSE SHE PREG, AND YOU COULD PUT ANY DVD'S THAT SHE COULD LAY UP AND WATCH YOU KNOW. ALSO I WOULD WRITE HER LETTER IT COULD BE ONE OF TWO DEPENDING ON HOW YOUR FEELING ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP NOW. ONE COULD BE ONE EXPRESSING HOW IT IS YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT HER AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND THE SACRIFICES THAT YOUR GONNA TRY AND MAKE TO MAKE IT WORK (YOU HEARD ME SAY YOUR SACRIFICES RIGHT? DOING THIS WILL BE ENOUGH TO LET HER KNOW THAT YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ENOUGH TO PUT HER FEELINGS FIRST AND THEN SHE'LL START EVALUATING WHAT IT IS SHE NEEDS TO DO,...LIKE TELLING HER MOM TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS ANYWAY). OR NUMBER TWO IF YOUR FEELING BEING SINGLE AND WHAT NOT GET HER A NICE LITTLE CARD AND JUST WRITE HER A SMALL NOTE BASICALLY STATING THAT IF SHE EVERY NEEDS SOMEONE TO TALK TO AND A SHOULDER, AND EVEN THOUGH YALL NOT TOGETHER YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HER BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING AT BE SWEET BUT NOT SENTIMENTAL OR ROMANTIC. EITHER WAY IT GOES YOU WHERE THOUGHTFUL AS HELL IN THE FIRST PLACE. GOOD LUCK.
2006-09-20 05:39:57 · answer #3 · answered by sky g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joe, I'm a bit confused by your questions. It seems like you are still in love [?] with your girlfriend but a few weeks ago you were asking if there were any women who wanted to meet a well built 21year old male. Was that question for you?
On any account, think of what she likes and what she likes to do and then do something like that for or with her. Also, you should listen to her [not saying you're not a good listener I dont know you and cant say that], she might have something very important to tell you and just wants you to listen.
Good Luck and congratulations with your baby when he/she gets here!
2006-09-20 05:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♥♥ Pink ♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
family problems. i had these too. my boyfriends dad hated me. what i did to win him over was first invited him to dinner. just him and me so he could see i could be nice and didnt feel awkward about us eating alone. then once he let me come over i started baby sitting for his other kids.... what you can do is confront her mother directly. well, not physically. but on the phone. if that doesn't work then go to her house and apologize (even if she was the wrong one). tell her your sorry and only want to spend time with her daughter and will do anything to make it up to her
2006-09-20 05:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
write her tell her how much you still care and if her mom is that important to her then you will respect and apolijize to her and try to make things right for her and the baby because oviously you still want to be in the kids life right?
~annie~
2006-09-20 05:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by kill_me_not_realli_2009 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋