She's 13...her responsibility is mainly the dog (to take her out to pee & to walk her), she also is expected to keep her room neat (I clean it). She helps out in other ways...but I'm not overly strict about it...if I ask her to do something to help she does & a lot of times I don't have to ask...she does it anyway.
I'm mainly asking because she makes her own lunch for school, I pick up what she wants & she prepares it. My mother thinks I should prepare her lunch...I've told her that I'd rather my daughter know how to make a sandwich & be more self-sufficient.
Our system seems to work for us, what works for you?
2006-09-20 05:22:02 · 25 answers · asked by Ivyvine 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
im 13 and my mother give me things to do like what u give your daught but we dont have a dog...i think you should give her things to do other wise she may get lazy and relie on you for many things also she needs to learn for when she grows up your daughter should make her own sandwhiches...shes going to eat it, if your mother thinks its a bad idea then you could spead it out say you make it 3 days she makes it 2 (school days) she may be an only child but you shouldn't not give her household chores just because she is beause you can hold that excuse out for anything my friends an only child she gets chore and doesn't complain only compplains that it can get abit lonely...but dont give her too many chores at once give her one a let her complete it and have a rest were only children
2006-09-20 05:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by precious as jwls 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My SIX year old is responsible for the following:
Cleaning his room, making his bed
letting the dogs out in the morning before school
pulling the emptied waste bins back up after trash pick up
helping in the garden, pulling weeds
feeding the pets
helping wash the cars
This how he earns his money, and along with good behavior, things he wants like video games. Every able body pulls their weight in our home. Stop babying that girl and put her to WORK. They need to learn how to self-suffice, and what all it takes to run a household, and pitch in to help the family. You are not her slave. Make her load the dishwasher, clean the baths, do some dusting. It's not child abuse. It's good training.
2006-09-20 12:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your system sounds great! I think kids need to learn responsibility and how to cook, clean and do laundry. A year and a half ago I broke my leg and they had to help a lot more than they normally do. They finally realized all the work that Mom and Dad do around the house!! My kids do have chores and I do ask them to do things around the house. I have extra cleaning they can do to make money as well. My Mom told me about one of her step-granddaughters who was moving out of her parents home at age 20 and had never cleaned a toilet. My Mom had me cleaning toilets when I was 10...ha ha. Your daughter will grow up learning how to run a household and also know about responsibility. Good job!!
2006-09-20 12:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by darci_67 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kudo's on letting her prepare her own lunch, this also ensures she will eat it... My parents gave me chores, which increased as I got older... we recieved for doing these chores, an allowance. Half of which we could keep to spend, the other half of which we set aside in a savings account. It helped teach us financial and dutiful responsibilities, allowed us to understand the value of a dollar, and gave us stuff to do, so my parents wouldn't have to work every minute of the day and we had family time. I think it helps build soid ground for stability when they are out of your nest too. My chore was the dishes.... load the dishwasher... my brother did laundry collection and rotating... my sister was to clean the bathroom... normal household chores. Now, my daughter is turning 6 and it is her responsibility to clean her room.. My other daughter is 2, she has to pick up her individual messes... I plan on adding responsibilities as they get older... and when they fail to fulfill them, they don't get to watch the movie they wanted to watch, or go to the park or what ever it is they are wanting to do the next time they ask.... it also gives a good form of punishment, where they learn CONSEQUENCES. Since she is 13, she could definately handle more chores, and it'd give you two a chance to do other things too... it's not a punishment, it is an expression of trust. By not giving responsibilities you would be denying that child the knowledge of what the real world is like... mom can't do everything for her forever.
Also, my parents provided the basics.... shampoo conditioner soap toothbrush, clothes, food, shelter... if we wanted something different than what they supplied, we were responsible for buying it ourselves... unless you could wait til a holiday. I bought my own homecoming and prom dresses, my own clothes (name brand) and my own shampoo combo ( I had oily hair, what can I say?) and face cream.. bad acne. they bought me my first retainer, when I lost it, I had to buy my own or go without... I went without...
2006-09-20 13:12:10 · answer #4 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you are teaching her to be a self sufficient young lady. My oldest is 11 and he has a few more chores. We live on a farm and that always adds to the list of things to do. So this is how we break it up.
Wes is 11 he feeds his calf every night and every morning. After school two days a week he does the dishes. He is responsible for keeping his room clean and neat and brings his laundry to the wash room when it needs to be done.
Cole is 6, he also feeds his calf morning and night he feeds the dog, keeps his room picked up.
Presley is 3. She keeps her room picked up, with my help. She feeds the two kittens.
This seems to work for us. I do all the laundry wash and fold, kids help put away. They are good about doing chores when asked. I tend to pack the lunches, although my kids enjoy buying lunch about twice a week.
I hope this helps. We all pitch in and get things done. We live on a farm and the house is about 3,000 sq. feet so it takes all of us to keep up. I agree with you wanting your doughtier to be self-sufficient. Keep up the good work. The life skills they learn from us now will help them in the future.
2006-09-20 12:44:09 · answer #5 · answered by Hollli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, if it works for you, then forget what your mother says. Your daughter is 13 and should take on some of the responsibilities of cleaning up for herself (i.e. SHE cleans her room, not you) and making her own lunch.
My kids are 16 and 11 and both have responsibilities above and beyond what you have your daughter do. They have been taking care of their own laundry since they were both 9 and are responsible for taking care of the dishes and the dishwasher.
The object is to raise the kids to be able to take care of themselves when they are out on their own. If you are making your daughters lunches like her grandmother thinks you should, when is she going to learn to be independent? she will be leaving for college in only a few short years...is grandma going to live in the dorm with her?
2006-09-20 12:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by tg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am an only child, and am now 34 years old. When I was 10, I was not only an only child, but also in a broken home. At your daughters age my Mom taught me how to do just about everything but cook, and that came shortly after. There is no harm to teaching your child responsibility and definitely nothing wrong with her doing things for herself. If you baby her too much, she will not only be spoiled and immature, but not know skills that will take her through life. I know this isn't exactly what you were asking, but I thought I'd answer for you anyway. lol
2006-09-20 12:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by Emjay 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter sounds like a great kid.
I think it's important that you give her more responsibility in her room... ie: let HER clean it. Give her a demonstration if she prefers, and do it with her a couple of times, then she may want to continue on her own.
Also, you might give her a "common area" of your home to clean. You may want to give her the livingroom. This area is usually the easiest, having the least things to actually "wash".
I commend you for your efforts in teaching her to be independent even with chores. I don't know you, but I'm proud of ya!
A little more responisbility with the chores, that's all. If you're a single mom, do them with her and see how she does.
2006-09-20 12:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're raising a really good kid. In addition to her household responsibilities she also has to maintain her schoolwork. How did Mom get involved in all this? Did the child complain about making lunch? Ask your daughter how she feels about the lunch making situation and if she's ok with it tell Mom you and the child have it under control. Life skills are learned at home unless we rob them of the opportunity to exercise their independence.
2006-09-20 12:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As long as you daughter has some responsibilities and the system works for the two of you, I say ignore your mom; my daughter (also an only child) fed and watered the dog, took out the trash and unloaded the dishwasher (I loaded it); most times we worked together for example we helped each other change the sheets on our beds, etc.
2006-09-20 12:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋