i work with this guy named michael and we're pretty good friends. he's 21 years old and he has a court date comming up because he got a DUI so they put him on probation, and then he got a second DUI which means he violated his probation and might have to do some jail time. He snorts cocaine too and im really worried about him. sometimes he'll mix it with alcohol. i have asked many people what to do and they all say to just forget it because there's nothing i can do but i dont want to give up on him. he needs someone to talk to and be there for him. im so scared for him. i don't want him to die and i don't want him to go to jail. please help me. what should i do?
2006-09-20 05:08:18 · 22 answers · asked by demongurl420_2007 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Most addicts have to hit bottom before they can start coming back up. He needs jail time, it won't be that bad and it will help him realize how serious things are. If he tells you he doesn't have a problem remind him getting a DUI is a problem. Unless he wants help, nothing will work.
2006-09-20 05:25:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard, I know. But you can't help someone who doesn't want to accept it. You are just causing yourself pain and anguish over someone who doesn't care.
Let him learn his life lesson. The only thing you can do is try to keep him off the road. We just had a guy in a nearby town who had already had 2 dui's kill 6 people in one car. It was two kids, their parents and grandparents. The bastard wiped them all out. I would let your friend go to jail for the safety of others. It might also just be the wake up call he needs.
Keep your emotions out of the situation. He needs professional help and you are likely not trained to offer that.
I see nothing but heartache ahead for you. And danger for society until he gets straight.
2006-09-20 05:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He NEEDS to be locked up. So he doesn't hurt anyone with his continued drinking and driving and so he can be forced to get clean. Then there should be a "bed-to-bed" transfer from the jail directly to rehab. If he stays in rehab and finishes the program, doesn't get into any trouble, then fine. He leaves rehab, it's back to the jail.
Other than that, there is nothing else that you or anyone can do. If he doesn't think he has a problem, he is not just going to walk into a hospital or rehab. Needs to be court ordered. I don't want him smashing his car into me or my family.
2006-09-20 05:13:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
break the law--go to jail, NO NOT COLLECT $200.00. Your friend indeed has a problem, the first step lies within him self- admiting that he has a problem with substance abuse. Until anyone can admitt the truth (self) then the entire circle of denial will continue. You cannot be responsible for his destructive actions that is your friends responsibility. As for jail well-- if he can admit to judge he has a problem most often the courts will send them to rehab. This does not discount his behavior. Be his friend but you cannot save him--- he will have to do this-by himself.
2006-09-20 05:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually it takes a pretty big mess to make someone like this realize they need to turn their life around.
You cannot make this person do anything. He is an adult and even more than that, this person has to think there is a problem and WANT to do something about it before he'll get any sort of better.
2006-09-20 05:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by Rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have t let this person hit rock bottom. You can not save him...he has to save himself. First step admitting he has a problem and getting help. I was married for 28 years to a man with a cocaine and alcohol problem. I had saved him many times. I learned from my doctor and lawyer that I was enabling his problem by saving him. I pray everyday for him. He still does not think he has a problem and I wish he could see what he has lost.You have to let go.
2006-09-20 07:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by Didi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does need to be locked up for his own sake, most people have a rock bottom and he will hit it weather it's jail or an intervention, but YOU can not do anything. HE has to do it for himself and no one else. Sorry I know that is hard on you to watch and I can see you really careabout him but really it is out of your control. Like someone else told you don't give him any money, don't let him stay at your place. He will steal from you and really get to you. DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN.YOU WILL BE ENABLING HIM. BE STRONG FOR YOUR AND HIS OWN GOOD
2006-09-20 05:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only person that can help him is himself,until he realizes he has a problem and is willing to make an effort to clean up,he will not.you can continue to care and be there for support,but the only way he will get past this is to either hit bottom and be forced to clean up,(via court appointed)or clean up on his own,the choice is his soley,mabey you should turn your back and let him know that you refuse to stand by and watch him destroy his life.it might do him good to go to jail.substance addiction is very powerful and sometimes people need to loose everything to become clean,including friends and family.
2006-09-20 05:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by jen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 21 he's not had to go thru the shithat makes people give it up!!! But, if you allow him to pull u into this cycle and style of life you'll never forgive yourself! Sounds like you have feelings for him and you're too weak of a personality to see the danger zone youre in!! I have seen so many girls try to save a guy from himself and he drags her in then he gets out, she ends up a junky in rehab! He's all better....
2006-09-20 05:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by Trisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk him into going to rehab and tell him you will write to him and visit him and support him in spirit. DO NOT GIVE HIM MONEY! I would not let him live with you either! Just tell him you care and want to see his life turn around, alot of times religion is a good place to turn, it works if you can get them there anyway. good luck but do NOT risk your life as he may be too far off kilter for you to handle without putting your health and happiness in jeapordy
2006-09-20 05:13:33 · answer #10 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋