He only got a broken shoulder, but she went through the windshield and messed up her face, jaw, right arm and right leg. She has to go through cosmetic surgery to even get her face straight. She has to go through physical therapy for her repaired arm and leg. The thing is my brother wants to leave her cause she's so messed up. I know that is shallow, but that is the way he is (a real jerk). I love his GF and think she is really really cool, but she is 'jacked-up' and maybe for life. They share a place and he's looking to leave this month with her still needing him. How do I approach this, I want them together, but he's so shallow that she's ugly now he want to leave her. What do I do?
2006-09-20 04:59:45 · 27 answers · asked by TexasLSUTiger 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
there is nothing that u can do. it is really up to him and he has always been a jerk you said. unfortunately this kind of treatment will come back on your brother. he cant do this to ppl and expect nothing no recourse to happen. God sees everything. Someone will do the same to him and really break his heart. All you can do is support your brother with whatever he chooses to do and be there for him when he falls, because he will fall. Also if you really like the gf, you should maybe keep in touch to help her with her recovery.
2006-09-20 05:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by ♣DreamDancer♣ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, even though you really like her & would like them to be together there is nothing you can do to keep them together.
I kinda want to know which one of them was driving cuz if she was driving he might be resenting her for possible causing the crash or maybe he doesn't feel safe around her any more.
On the other hand, if he is just being a shallow jerk, I mean you said that you cared for & like her, wouldn't she be better off than to be with someone who doesn't really want to be in a relationship with her any more?!
I would try to talk to him. Tell him what he's doing is really low & ask him to try to remember what attracted him to her in the first place & what he thinks she would do if the shoe was on the other foot & he was the one who was tragically hurt.
If that's doesn't work then sadly, you tried your best & that's all you can do. Don't give her the heads up or anything just try to be there for her once he's blown it.
Please try to stay her friend regardless of what happens, cuz she really needs someone right now. Who knows maybe a spark will develop between the two of you & perhaps you guys will end up being together. That would be a happy ending! Good Luck!!
2006-09-20 12:01:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid there is no cure for being a jerk, but at least it doesn't seem to be genetic, since you sound like a good guy.
Was your brother at fault in the accident? If so, I think I'd sue him for damages if I was the girl and he left me hanging like that. And maybe you ought to suggest it! Needless to say, you won't be popular with your brother.
If there is no legal recourse and the poor girl is going to be destitute without your brother's help, then perhaps you and the rest of the family (if there is any) should offer to take her in until she is back on her feet. If nothing else, you will be showing the girl that not everyone in your family is an ******. It might also teach your brother a lesson since he can't run away from his neglect when he comes to see you and/or the family...although frankly from what you write, I'm not sure there's much hope that will happen.
Good luck. I know you will do what is right within your abilities.
2006-09-20 12:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a ****. Any how be there for her help her out and let me tell you something she's not jacked up for life plastic surgeons can do anything and the truth is she will probably end up with a few upgrades if you know what I mean. Just a word about your brother I understand the shallow thing I chose my fiance based on his looks and the size of his hands oh yeah size matters but after all this time he could be horribly disfigured and I still wouldn't go any where because looks may get their foot in the door but you love someone for whats inside them.
2006-09-20 12:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Katlynn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How sad that your brother is such a complete moron. But the truth is, she's better without him. It's tragic all around, unfortunately, her tragedy is deeper than she imagined and it began long before the accident happened. You can't avoid how life unfolds. She is going to have a lot to deal with for a long time.
What do you do?
If you love his girlfriend and think she's "really really cool" you can bet she's going to need a friend. You have an opportunity to stand up and be noble (unlike your brother) and help her through what is going to possibly be the most challenging period of her life. If you choose to do this, I also advise you to refuse to talk to either one of them about the other. Don't become the one they dump all their complaints about each other on or the messenger. Just be her friend, one she's really going to be needing.
Best wishes.
2006-09-20 12:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by tinkerbella 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, tell your brother what a shallow, jerk he is...Then offer to his girlfriend that you'll be there for her and let her know you don't agree with your brothers decision. This is really going to tear her up...like she doesn't already have enough worries about her appearance, for him to do this now is very cruel. Be a friend to her is all I can say and please don't ever start acting like your brother!! Good luck!
2006-09-20 12:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be a friend to her and when he leaves her let her know that your brother does not deserve her, she can find better. Your brother needs a lesson or two about compassion and also to know that the beauty within us far outshines the beauty that we call our skin. Good luck with dealing with him. I doubt he will ever have a real relationship with his superficial thinking.
2006-09-20 12:05:53 · answer #7 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you can't force them together. And I doubt that you telling him to be a man and step up for his woman that needs him will fly over well. I don't think there is much you can do except be supportive of her and help her out however you can.
2006-09-20 12:03:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's that shallow, she doesn't need him in her life. He'll always have that "perfectionist" complex. He'll probably never be completely happy because NOTHING or NOBODY is perfect, and if he's looking for that, he'll never find it. You don't pick your life partner based on their looks.....looks change over time....it's what's INSIDE that counts. If he ditches her because of THIS, HE is the one who is "jacked up"......NOT HER! Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone!
2006-09-20 12:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if i was the girlfriend i'd want him to leave. he obviously didn't really love her in the first place. someone who has been injured so badly needs someone to support them. tell him to look in the mirror and really think about the concept of "ugly". words and actions make someone just as ugly as physical attributes. she doesn't need him. i hope she has family to take care of her. who's fault was the accident? her whole life has been horribly changed for her and he's whining about something as superficial as looks. good riddance to the jerk.
2006-09-20 12:06:09 · answer #10 · answered by angel40 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋