2006-09-20 04:59:13 · 10 answers · asked by Mr. Owl 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
why do they call it PMS?
cause mad cow disease was already taken..
2006-09-20 11:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Boudreaux got real horny at work and began thinking about his wife (Marie) and could not wait to get home. When the whistle sounded Boudreaux hopped in his truck and hurried home. He went through the front door and there was Marie. He grabbed her right out of her shoes. He threw up her dress and began pounding away. After he was done he told Marie, 'Man, I want you to know that you are some kind of love-maker. I noticed every time I pushed it in all your toes curled up. You sum' passionate." Marie replied, " Oh Boudreaux, you impetuous devil. You didn't let me take off my pantyhose."
2006-09-20 06:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one will make somebody laugh!!
Why Women Are Crabby:
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
2006-09-20 05:24:22 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Raven 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ya sure honey. Here it comes a Sp laughing express for u...
Once a Girlfriend asks his Boy friend: " Will u give me a ring on our Engagement?"
Boyfriend says: "Ya sure dear, From landline or Mobile?"
Hope this had made u Smile atleast. :-)
2006-09-20 05:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by smilingbook1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah...I just got a job circumcising elephants...yeah...the pays not too good but the "tips" are enormous!!!!!
2006-09-20 06:09:28 · answer #5 · answered by sunnyboy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come here and I will tickle you
2006-09-20 05:04:40 · answer #6 · answered by jewingengleman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's green, slimy, and smells like pork?
kermit's finger.
â£
2006-09-20 05:15:32 · answer #7 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes
well, um... no
okay, okay, maybe
... um i don't know
MAKE YOUR OWN SELF LAUGH!!!
2006-09-20 05:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by DeeVee D. Essemar 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
check your mirror
2006-09-20 05:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by leilis4 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your momma's p***y is so nasty, they make you eat it on "Fear Factor"
2006-09-20 05:13:20 · answer #10 · answered by Coche 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋