about 6 months ago my mom found a preg. test when she went snooping through my room! ever since shes just assumed that im sleeping with every guy that i either date or am friends with! i know that because of what she found its hard to trust me but there is a point where u go to far! in the past week ive had 1 shower where she didnt come in the bathroom and stay in there most of the time! yesturday she actually looked in the shower then she had to come in the bathroom to tell me she was leaving after i got out why couldnt she just tell me through the door! shes got to where she has to know every step i take everytime i leave the house its where r u goin and then 20 min after i leave what r u doin! the first time my bf came to the house the power was out so we went out and sat on the front porch she opened the windows! 5 min later she was out there! its gotten to the point i dont want to be at home anymore im 18 but i cant move out due to finacial problems so how do i deal with it
2006-09-20 04:59:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
ok so heres the thing i know all about what can happen while having sex and the way i look at it if i do get preg. thats my problem and i would do what ever i had to to take care of that child without having to ask for help the finacial sit. right now i make decent money but not enough to be able to afford my car payment (which is for a newer car) and an appartment (the cheapest down here is $500 a month for 1 bedroom) i live with both my parents and my dad is overprotective to but he gives me privacy theyve been that way my whole life theyve just loosined up a lil since ive gotten older but she didnt start acting like that until i turned 18 (last month) so it cant be just because she found the test im almost positive it has something to do with the fact that my bf is 4 yrs older than me but with them acting the way they r toward me going to his house makes me want to go that much more!! i never stay home anymore because of it
2006-09-20 06:31:53 · update #1
yes my bathroom door has a lock on it but theres no point in locking it considerin last time she just unlocked it and came in!! and ive tried talking to her it always ends up in us screaming and fighting because she wont listen to me!! and i tell her almost everything she knows my bf she knows my friends almost every time i come home from bein out ill sit and talk about what happend that night so its not like i dont fill her in on my life
2006-09-20 06:44:39 · update #2
I'm 19 and i got married when i was 18. Basically, there is nothing you can do while you are still living there with her. I'm not saying to move and and get yourself into a financial burden or any trouble, but you have to deal with it the best way possible. If she gets on your nerves try going for a walk or something. Get out of the house. But just remember she loves and cares about you and that is why is she being so aggraving and nosy. :) Trust me i felt the same way but when i left i missed her like crazy! She's your mom and now since she found that test -it worries her that you may become or be pregnant.
2006-09-20 05:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're 18, then fix your financial problems and move out if that's what you want. Otherwise, it's your mom's house, respect that. Back to your age and financial problems, seems that maybe you should be more responsible about sex. Condoms are way cheaper and easier to deal with than a baby. I'm sure your mother is aware of this and probably wants to make sure you're not making bad decisions. Obviously if you've needed a pregnancy test then you've proved that you've been irresponsible with sex at least once. If you can't handle the responsibility, then someone has to, and that is your mother. Be thankful she's looking out for you. It may be annoying, but so is a baby crying when you're trying to sleep, trying to shop, trying to do homework or housework, and it's really annoying being too tired to deal with a crying baby because it cries when you try to sleep. So if you think these small things your mom is doing are annoying, just think how it could be. With a crying baby, you won't get many showers, certainly not long uninterrupted ones, and you won't get much alone time with a boyfriend (if he sticks around). And if you think your mom is annoying looking after your every move, think of taking a baby with you everywhere you go. If you don't use birth control, then let your mom take care of you.
2006-09-20 05:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it some time and she'll calm down but as of now don't complain about her smothering you it will only get worse..Try to be respectful and wait it out because the reason why she's flipping out is simply that she wants the best for you and wants badly to prevent you from making any future mistakes. She probably feels the pregnancy test thing was because she wasn't doing enough somehow and feels responsible for not being better at her parenting even though that's not the case. Everyone makes mistakes and you made one but as soon as she sees you are acting responsibly and having a good attitude all around I'm sure she'll ease up. If you act out or get angry you'll give her more of a reason to be concerned. Keep in mind that it won't be this way forever and she has nothing but good intentions even though it may be annoying..one day you'll appreciate it. Maybe if you open up a bit to her talk about some things in your life she'll feel better and start trusting you. Good luck
2006-09-20 05:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
18 is a little old for your mother to be in the bathroom with you when you shower. Just tell her that you're old enough to be uncomfortable when she's sharing the bathroom at the same time with you and nicely ask her to give you privacy. You could also try locking the door if there's a lock. As for the rest of it, it is her house and she has a right to monitor what's going on in it. The more you act responsibly, the more she may respect your space. If not, find a job, a roommate, and move out
2006-09-20 05:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal - do you want to stop your mother from caring about you?
If yu think you are mature enough at 18yo to be responsible for yourself, you probably should also have the self restraint to not make this a conflict issue.
Why don't you sit down & talk with her - as 2 adults. Your parents did not get a guide book on raising children & over the first 20+ years will make some mistakes - but better that they be too insulating than not caring for you.
Presumably, if you needed a pregnancy test, you have been having sex. If you are mature enough for that - you should be mature enough to discuss it, at a high level, with your parents.
There is no profit in making your mothers part in your life an issue of conflict. If you are an adult, you need to resolve differences - if you can't do that, perhaps you are still a child after all.
I am 44yo and my parents live on the other side of the Atlantic. My brother (47yo) lives in the same small village as my parents - I have a better (aimiable) relationship with my parents and I talk with them more often, than my brother. That's his loss.
2006-09-20 05:16:24 · answer #5 · answered by dryheatdave 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We're parents, that's what we do. She is only doing this because she loves you and doesn't want anything to happen to you. Yes, parents can be overprotective, but you must also understand that teens think they know everything, but at 18 you only know a fraction of what your parents do. I'm speaking about common sense issues, not booksmarts. She's just trying to protect you from making some very big mistakes that could impact you for the rest of your life. Plus, we guys are animals and she apparently realizes this. Just try to relax a little, rather than try to sneak around, just live within the rules and gain her trust. You'll be old enough to move out on your own in no time. Good luck.
2006-09-20 05:11:15 · answer #6 · answered by babalu2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to say: yOU CAN'T MOVE OUT DUE TO FINANCIAL PROBLEMS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HAVING SEX AND WORRYING ABOUT PREGNANCY IF YOU CAN'T EVEN FINANCIALLLY TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?
Ok ..... first of all, you live w/your mother. She gave birth to you. When she was pregnant with you, she possibly took a test just like YOU did 6 months ago. Let me guess... you're 18, so you KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOINg.... She's worried. Now she realizes that you have started something that is like a snowball effect. It only gets worse. She may be experiencing some emotions that until you are a parent yourself you will never understand.
I do suggest that you speak to her as a MATURE WOMAN, not as a girl that's worried about pregnancy.
Also, keep in mind that the consequences of SEX are greater than the pleasures you get out of it.
I truly do think that you should read up on pregnancy, std's and emotional issues that occur due to SEX.
2006-09-20 05:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant when I was 18. I'm sure your mom is just trying to protect you. Until you can afford to move out on your own, I think you will have to live with it. Does your bathroom door have lock on it? That seems to me like she goes a little too far coming into the bathroom when you are showering. Even though she is trying to protect you, you are an adult and need to make decisions on your own and definately need your privacy. Maybe try talking to your mom about boundries - on both ends - and see if that would help, otherwise, I think your stuck with it, it is her house...
2006-09-20 06:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by wildchild 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her house..her rules. You said it yourself, that she doesn't trust you since she found a pregnancy test in your room. She feels she needs to watch you all the time so you don't try and screw up your life by getting pregnant at an early age.
best advice is to deal with it show her that it doesn't bother you and maybe she will let up. Other option is to start saving your money so you can move out when you can. But remember, she pays the bills. Her house, her rules.
2006-09-20 05:05:35 · answer #9 · answered by thunder2sys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh, girl, believe me when I tell you that your mom loves you. I am a mom myself and got there by having a baby too young. I kept secrets from her and lied about what I was doing. If my mom knew, she would have strapped me to my bed. But, I did what I did and now I have to pay the consequences. you are going to have to make it up to her some way. maybe sit and talk with her about everything. i am sure she would rather know and be involved in helping you with anything you are going through than be left out of the loop. but remember she loves you and you are still her child. that wont ever change :) hope this helps....
2006-09-20 05:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by Hurray for the ANGELS! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋