I been marry for almost two years and i have a wonderful little boy. I love my husband well, at least thats what i think. But daily i been woundering about how would it be to be with other guys. (Dates, go out, talk on the phone). I imaging my life with someone else, but when i start thinking about not having my husban by myside i get upset and tears come to my eyes. Im confused and i don't want to hurt his feelings. Why do i keep feeling this way? Like if im missing my other half.
2006-09-20 04:32:03 · 19 answers · asked by NiceGirl 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Im going to guess that you were married (please note the correct spelling) at a very young age, and that you were probably not very experienced in the arena of dating/being with other people....
Am I correct? If I am, then I am going to tell you that what you are feeling, what you are experiencing is completely normal. You were too young when you got marrried, and you never had the chance to explore your sexuality with others. Now, youre confused... You THINK you love your husband - but youre not certain. And I know why - how can you be certain that you love him if you havent experienced love before him?? I know where you are coming from....
What to do about it is another story. You can tell him how you feel (but Im guessing too that your background/culture wouldnt allow for that...). Or, you can ignore how you feel. Or, you can react upon how you feel without his knowledge. Im not going to judge you for that...
Whatever you choose, if you wish to discusss this, Id be happy to help you out. Feel free to write me via this forum. Good luck....
2006-09-20 04:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by YDoncha_Blowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't beat up on yourself. This is normal. When you marry and have children, life gets stressful and boring. He may feel the same way.
The answer is: 1. Call your husband. be romantic on the phone to him. 2. Get someone to keep your little boy. Go on a date with your husband. Over night if you can. There is no reason that you can't be girlfriend and boyfriend with each other when you are married
Women are romantic by nature, you need some quality time alone with your husband.
2006-09-20 11:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
This scirpture also applies to women, who think of other men when they are married. Don't let satan control your mind like that. Don't give him that kind of power over you. Get into Church and go with your husband and child. Life is too hard to try to go at it alone and not have Jesus leading you.
Ask yourself how would you feel if your husband was thinking about other women the way you are thinking about other men. When you married your husband, you both became one, and there are no fairy tale happy and blissful 24/7 lives out there. marriage is hard work. You have to nurture it every day. Bring Jesus into your life, and home and don't give into the mind games that satan is playing with you.
2006-09-20 11:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal. Just because you are no longer available doesnt make you dumb, deaf or blind to others (same goes for your husband). It only matters about what you do about that...ie nothing is good, fantastisizng about others during sex is good, finding more ways to enjoy your man as if it were the first time always is good.
Acting on normal urges outside your marriage is stupid because you already have the love of your life right there. Just imagine him banging someone else...and that might be enough to make him exciting enough for good. Dont place that jealousy BS on him though...I mean IMAGINE he is wanted bigtime but they cant have him because he's all yours.
You need to be creative mentally hun. No man is going to be hubba-hubba forever or even 5 years...normal boring..shopping/paying bills/children and life gets in the way and its up to YOU to change your thinking...by sexual and emotional creativity, responsibility and FUN! Changing partners wont change your brain LONGTERM. Any man you would meet will have the same effect as hubby eventually...so it makes sense to change your own perception....get excited about life and him and you wont need any scary others.
2006-09-20 11:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're behaving selfishly, which is our nature but it is sinful.
I think you need to remember that you made a vow and you should respect that. Would you like for someone that loves you to do you dirty and betray you? Do you come from a broken home? If so, then you should know that it's messed up. Otherwise, then apparently life hasn't taught you much yet.
I suggest you read up on the bible what it says about marriage.
Hebrews 13:1-17
1 Keep on loving each other as brothers. 2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. 3 Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." 6 So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" 7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. 9 Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace, not by ceremonial foods, which are of no value to those who eat them. 10 We have an altar from which those who minister at the tabernacle have no right to eat. 11 The high priest carries the blood of animals into the Most Holy Place as a sin offering, but the bodies are burned outside the camp. 12 And so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate to make the people holy through his own blood. 13 Let us, then, go to him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace he bore. 14 For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come. 15 Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name. 16 And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. 17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
2006-09-20 11:40:16 · answer #5 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for 20 years and i still think about what it might have been like if i'd took another road in my life with someone else. it's human nature sweetie. i love my husband with all my heart, but its curiosity to wonder. i would never cheat or leave my husband,but i think its okay to wonder ever once in a while, don't you? it does not mean you don't love your husband or you want to leave him. stop beating yourself up over nothing. your marriage will be fine as long as you realize that what your doing is natural and NEVER take it any further. Good luck.
2006-09-20 11:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by dog lover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're hormones are overly active. Perhaps you married and spawned at too young of an age. It seems anyone below 30 who follows this pattern dooms their relationship...
My advice would be to talk to your husband about it. Be honest and up front with him. He may not be providing you with all that you desire, but he will never know about this unless you open your heart to him.
Good luck!
2006-09-20 11:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
if you got married young thats the problem .......you are too young...... you should have gotten (party, going out, dating etc..) out of your system and when you were mature enough, then get married.......... thats if you got married young ..... (under 25 yrs. old)...............if your older then......... i dont know...... but the one who will loose...... in this case is your little boy........ if you sleep around and your husban finds out and you get a divorce .... then the kid grows up without both parents by his side.......... i think you were not ready for marriage and comitment..... i think your a youngster.......... see iam in my 20's under 25........ and im having FUN.......... dating, dancing..i talk on the phone.... friends.....sex with anyone i want..... without hurting anyones feelings ... no kids... hopefully someday but not now........
2006-09-20 11:40:33 · answer #8 · answered by henry_o01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart. You are being tested. The test is temptation. You are being tempted to step outside your marriage to fill what feels like a void in your relationship with your husband. Don't fall for it. It will create irrevokable results in your marriage. Be strong.
2006-09-20 11:38:47 · answer #9 · answered by Spann M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Youth has nothing to do with it. You think about other guys because you are ALIVE, girl!
If you do love your husband, I think its okay to think about other guys as long as you don't actually act out your fantasies.
2006-09-20 11:51:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋