Do you fall in love and love someone for who they are, the way they are? or do you love someone because you think you can change them into someone you think you can love? i am in this situation now. i don't think he loved me for me, the way i am. i think he loved me because he thought he could change me into something he thought could make him happy. So is that REALLY love? Help Please!!! thank you.
2006-09-20 04:16:23 · 27 answers · asked by kb'sgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No I wouldn't say that's love because if someone loves you they will accept you for who you are and everything about you they will learn to love even the little things that will sometimes annoy them. If you try to mold someone into what you want them to be you will end up being disappointed when things end up not going your way and someone will end up getting their heart broken. So if you think this is what he's doing "trying to mold you into what he wants you to be" then you need to sit down and talk to him and let him know that if he can't accept you for who are you then it will never really work out.
2006-09-20 04:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by tcgagirl18 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We are all made different for a reason. When you love someone it is because of who they are. Someone doesn't love you because they think they can change you for who they think you should be. You are not made of clay and can't be molded to be as such. Love takes you as you are. If someone is trying to change you they are not willing or even have the heart to work at your relationship to make the situation easier on themselves they feel the need to change you. In a relationship a person can change; however,but not because that is the only way the other person will love them, but because they either grow as a person with their partner or because actions may have been hurting the relationship so they make a change themselves to better the relationship
2006-09-20 04:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The number one thing (OK.. maybe not THE number one thing but its in my top 3 at least) I hate about being part of the female gender is that there are those of us who honestly think that they can change someone else. You can't. You can nag, plead, cajole, trick, threaten, whatever... but you will never be able to change someone. People only change if THEY want to change. Thats it. end of story.
I've had quite a few friends who got into relationships thinking that they would be happy because they guy was great execpt for one or two things and that they would be able to change them because "if they loved/liked/lusted me enough then they will change for me". Every time.. Every single stinkin time... the relationship ended because of the very thing they were trying to change.
If you can't love/like/lust the person the way they are.. then either keep the "relationship" casual (in which case there really isn't a relationship more like having booty call or an f-buddy) or drop it completely. No one will be happy when one is trying to change the other.
2006-09-20 04:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No that is not love - that is a project. You have to love someone for who they are - not for who they will be in the future, or what you can make them, or what their potential is. You have to love them for who and what they are now, because that is WHO THEY ARE!!! They will not change that much no matter what. If a person is late all the time, that will not change. If a guy is a cheater it won't change with time. If a person thinks they can change a person into what will make them happy that is a personal project of a dreamer who hasn't found what they are looking for. When you find love you won't have to change a thing because it will be right already.
2006-09-20 04:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by TexasLSUTiger 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on what kind of changes he's trying to make.A re these changes of things that would embarass you both or are they changes that are aimed at making him Happy. I had a friend who used to chew reAlly loud when she ate, and she never realised untill her boyfriend pointed it out to her gently...she loved him all the more for it.He saved her from futher embarrasments . So i think when it comes to changes it depends on what kind of changes the other person is trying to make.ARE THEY BENEFICIAL TO YOU IN ANY WAY? YOU, BEING THE KEY WORD.
2006-09-20 04:30:00 · answer #5 · answered by rennayo6 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't really change a person....esp if they refuse help...so why not love someone for who they are...yes we all need some sort of mental help but we have to be the ones to realize and get the help we need.Usually your partner will make you want to become a better person...but not mold you into what they think you should be....they will be disappointed.
2006-09-20 04:22:18 · answer #6 · answered by Boo Boo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think in order to truly be in love with someone you have to love them for who they are. Time, experiences and yourself are the only things that can change a person, no one else can do it for you. We continually change and evolve in our lives but it is because of our own free will, not because someone is standing behind us making us change.
2006-09-20 04:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by GoodJob 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that the purpose of loving someone is because you love the person for who they are. If you love someone because you think you can change them. I don't think that is love.
2006-09-20 04:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by Bizzle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are all morons....the idea of love is to meet some one and learn about them. you learn about someone and you find out who they are now and who they will be in the future. sometimes, you can actually tell more about someone than they might actually know about themselves...
the real love lies in the fact that you can see inside someone and you can see past now and look for tomorrow. the danger lies in the fact that you might not see the same things that the particular individual sees...wherein you grow apart and out of love...
but the beauty is, when you finally meet that special someone, you two will work as a team to help improve each other and actually enhance each others lives...it is not about changing someone, it is about help each other find out who they will be when they act as one.
2006-09-20 11:23:40 · answer #9 · answered by plasticrooster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never, ever in this world can one describe such an henious act as love, Are u even aware of what love is
LOVE is as a blessing from the divine between two for the qualities they have, both good & bad, Love is unconditional and can't demand anything,love is the name of giving without thinking of recieving
understood,
So please search someone as u r and not what he can make u
2006-09-20 04:25:16 · answer #10 · answered by FRIENDLY -JD 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋