What was it to him??

Question

I went out with my boyfriend for 6 months however we had known each other for two years previously. After about 4 months i told him i loved him, he said he couldn't return the feelings but maybe in time he could however he liked me a lot. At this point i thought ok because its not been that long. However the other night i told him i loved him again. This time he just said 'erm..ok'. I felt as though things had changed between us and therefore asked the question... ' do you still think of me as your girlfriend as you seem to have been different with me lately'. After all this was said we eneded up falling out however i still want to be with him. He said the reason why we have split up is because there is too much pressure of how i feel about him. Iv text him a few times but he hasnt answered some of them. am i stupid to want to be with him? was the whole thing for him just a bit of fun? what would you do? im trying to forget but its really hard! i still see him every night at training!

i cant change my training times!!

Answer 1

It is rather common for men to do this when women tell them that they are in love. Men enjoy the pursuit, and dislike the drama.
You need to move on. When you are at training, ignore him and act happy and contented. The more you ignore him and move on with your life, the more he will like you. But you need to teach him that you expect to be treated better. So if he comes over to talk to you, you let him know that you are looking for something real and he is just not ready for you.
The most attractive women for men are the ones who are happy and self-confident without a man.

Answer 2

You've asked this one before and I think I've answered it before, though I can't find my response anywhere.

Basically, stop asking this question and start doing something. Or not doing anything as I think this situation requires. He doesn't want to commit right now, that's an obvious. Nothing you do will change that certainty. However, you are at the same time driving him away with your constant texting, phoning, running into him every night at training, etc. Word of advice - STOP! Do absolutely nothing. Do not text him, phone him, or even TALK to the guy. Let him call the shots on this one if you care about him that much. Let him evaluate how much he cares about you. If he's a decent person, you'll soon find out one way or the other and then you can get on with your life.

Having said this, though, I would just give it up. Lost cause, babe. You're probably better off with someone else. Someone, for example, that can give you a decent answer when you say you love him. The least he could have said was "I really don't feel that way about you just now, but give me some time and I might later on."

Anywho, get off your **** and do something about it. No point talking to us wasters - doesn't accomplish a thing.

Answer 3

Hi!
Ok for a start, don't hit the panic button! Rule number one of dating is that men are as equally sensitive about females, even more so when it comes to commiting.
It is easier for a girl to fall head-over-heels in love with a guy, we've all worn the rose-coloured shades at some point in our lives without taking a step back to really evaluate things.
Four months is a little early to start telling a guy you like him, especially for him as it does cause a lot of pressure for him as most men have this inexplicable fear of commital. So, to them, saying 'I Love you' is like signing your life away to someone. It could be the fact that saying it so early in your relationship put him under a lot of strain and caused him to think more quickly about where this relationship is going.
Saying it the second time at 6 months probably crossed the i's and dotted the t's on the whole situation. The whole fact that he was treating you more as a friend rather than a gf should have sent alarm bells to you right there and then. When you asked him about the situation, he probably panicked about how to react, hence the arguement.
The fatc that he is now not answering your texts probably shows he needs space. Like girls do when we are totally stressed, guys need to have some time alone to think things through. stop texting him for about a fortnight ( I know an eternity but trust me on this). If he doesn't reply or speak to you in any form or way, I think you may have to move on. Learn from your mistakes. I now it will break your heart to do so, but we all must suffer the whole 'it is better to have love then lost...' thing at somepoint.
If he does call/text/speak to you, then rejoice, there may be some chance this can get off to a start again! But take it slowly, wait from him to make some of the moves and soon you'll get to realise his 'signs' as it were and be a much happier couple as a whole.
Hope this helps and good luck!
Luv
Metia
XO

Answer 4

It doesn't mean hes just having a bit of fun.

Maybe he is just scared to say it. Men are scared of commitment. I think he was being honest when he said maybe in time he can. Leave it and don't mention it again. Say you're sorry and lets just forget about what happened, I didn't mean to pressure you, but I like you a lot and I guess I wanted to find out how much you like me, but I know you like me and thats fine, its enough for me.

If you pressure him then he will split up with you, Take it slowly. Do you sleep with him? I hope not. If you don't, then don't start sleeping with him until he can tell you he loves you, because otherwise you're letting him use you. But don't let him know this. Just build up the trust and friendship between the 2 of you. Do things that will make unforgetable memories. Have fun with him. Don't think about the fact that he doesn't love you. To love someone you need something special between the 2 of you, you will have special things already, just make more. Things that are unique to you and him.

Answer 5

He seems totally scared of commitment, and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. That's not to say that he doesn't like or love you, he's just scared he might change his mind, or that he's made a mistake etc. You saying you love him, makes him feel bad because he is not confident enough to trust his instincts and tell you exactly how he feels.

You need to decide if you want to be with him. If you do you will need to learn to not crowd him or put pressure on him, and accept he may not be as affectionate as you would like.

If you decide to split up, don't get all bitter about it, you just were not that suited after all. No harm done, you can still be friends and train together.

Answer 6

Baby gurl coming from another female who been through the same thing ur not stupid ur just in love i think he love u 2 just probably not ready 4 commitment yet. Thats most men, they feel that we be 2 forward and that were trying 2 tie them down.
It will be hard 2 get over him but in due time u'll realize what i did..... that u can do better wit out him, and that theres some1 way better who want 2 love ya. And when ur at training dont pay him no mind dont let him c how u feel in side then he'll think he won over your pride.

Answer 7

You answered my question "Dumped or Dumpee" and you wanted to be the one to dump him; now's your chance but not for pride's sake, it's because u live him.

You love him right? Problem is that you have high expectations. These wants and needs you have are more than he has to offer. So, think of it this way, you're setting him up for failure. So, why would you want to set up someone you love and make them fail time and time again? You don't because you love him.

Don't lower your wants and needs either. When you do this, you've trapped yourself, and this will cause you to be unhappy. When you're unhappy, you will make everyone around you unhappy too.

Solution, walk away. Accept the relationship as "Not satisfying" for either of you, and find something wonderful in a new man who won't fail you.

After all "Dating" is the wonderful time to learn what works before committing your life to each other. Review your wants and needs ... write them down ... share them with your girlfriends and even family. It will come once you identify what you want and need.

Answer 8

sounds like hes a bit frightened to get too involved on an intimate deep level - love is a big emotion to handle and some people get freaked out by it - also 6 months isnt a very long time to be with someone.
Maybe hes been hurt in the past whilst in a loving relationship and its proving hard for him to put himself in that situation again with you.
Youve tried to contact him and he's ignored you, so I suggest you leave it be now -he knows where you are should he want you.
With regards to training - keep it civil - smile and say hello but d ont bend over backwards to speak to him - if he strikes up conversation - engage in it .
Maybe he needs time to deal with the situation and the best you can do is leave him be - pressure him and he'll resent you.

Answer 9

i too told my boyfriend that i loved him after about 6 months...he sort of backed away from me a little bit.it took him 2 years to tell me, i have been with him for 10 years now and each day he will tell me in his own way...not by verbally telling me, but like leaving little notes on the fridge or drawing a heart in my frothy coffee, these things mean alot to me, back off just a little bit...your guy is feeling the pressure, you have told him twice now and he cannot return it, give him time and space...maybe in the future he will tell you but you cant make him say something he does not feel...this could have been a bit of fun for this guy....you have to accept that he will not tell you his feelings...find someone who will

Answer 10

for guys its VERY difficult to make thier feelings public that just a fact of life but it doesnt mean that he doesnt like you, just because you love him doesnt mean he HAS to love you back sorry to say this but love takes time and 99% of the time one person falls in love faster then the other which is what happened in your case. my advice is try and get back together with him and in time although it may take a while he will say it back and mean it dont put pressure on him otherwise he will leave and you couldeve lost someone very speacail love is one of the strongest feelings you can have towards someone so for both your sakes give him time he will say it ONE day just not today!!1