okay so i have had a bf for 5 mo. now and we are really close. About a week ago i confronted him about a mutual friend that was being really clingy and touchy feely with him. I also talked to her and she said she would stop. Well this created akwardness in their relationship and they were like best friends before. i didn't mean to ruin anything i just wanted to put my feelings out there to both of them but now they both blame me for the rift in their relationship. I feel terrible but wasn't it right to have shared my concerns with both of them? I don't know what else i could have done, also they aren't even on speaking terms and it's all my fault...what should i do. I tried to get them to go to coffee together and they did but that blew up in my face because my bf says she was a b***h to him and that he sees now she was just trying to break us up. I feel terrible is ther something i can do to change this!!!! my life is such a mess right now!! plz help...
2006-09-20 03:39:45 · 16 answers · asked by danichika 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me like you were acting normal for your position.
You were "mate guarding" , which is being territorial about your man. It's perfectly natural for you to be on the lookout for other females "touching" or having contact with you man. Understanding that this other lady is/was a friend of his , yet it sounds like she may have been a little jealous of you being his woman. Perhaps she may have been smitten with him, but hadn't had the courage to confront him regarding her feelings before, but seeing him with you may have made her a little more aggressive. I think you did the right thing by addressing your concerns with both of them. It shows you are sensitive to his and her feelings. But if she is acting more distant, and angry with him, you may have headed off a trespasser before she had a chance to do any damage to YOUR relationship with your man.
I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about the other woman, it sounds like she's taken the hint. And trying to get them to sit down together isn't in YOUR best interest.
2006-09-20 03:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. You were right to express your concerns but it depends if you were just being jealous or if you had a genuine concern. Sometimes even when girls are only best friends with a guy, they don't like it when their best friend starts to spend time with another girl. They can start to get clingy and try to break up the relationship because they are insecure and think that you may get in the way of their friendship. This type of thing happens all the time when your young and the only way to avoid it is to make good friends with the girl so that you can all stay close and want the best for each other. Then when she gets a boyfriend it'll be all good and will balance out.
2006-09-20 03:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you did nuthin in the first place. You 2 were going out, you didnt like how close that they were getting. You had everyright to say something. Even if they were just friends they still didnt need to be all clingy. Let life takes it course. If they are sapose to be good friends then they will be. But seriously you shouldnt beat yourself up over telling him how you feel. He really respects you if he really understands how you feel. I would just keep on being up front about him. If they truly are friends then she will back of. He might have feelings for him b/c when they went to coffee.. she bitched him out. If they were just "friends" that wouldnt of happend. You know what I mean gal! Good Luck!
2006-09-20 03:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by c_dilleynlancaster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to talk to her again. Tell her that you didn't mean any harm, that you just got a little paranoid. Share your concerns that you just shared with the world. Tell her that you didn't mean they couldn't be friends at all, you just didn't feel comfortable with the way they were all on each other in front of you. Maybe you should tell you bf the same but still if I were you, I would keep my eyes open (mouth shut) LOL.
2006-09-20 03:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mujer Bonita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO IT'S NOT !!! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES !!!
If this is true: "but that blew up in my face because my bf says she was a b***h to him and that he sees now she was just trying to break us up"
and your bf still loves you, then everything worked out exactly like you expected it to by confronting him. GEEEEZZZZZZ !! What better outcome could you have asked for???
GET OVER IT AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIVES.
2006-09-20 03:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point it is best to tell your boyfriend that you hope he can find a way to save that friendship as you know it was important to him and then stay out of it. It needs to be between the two of them. You probably didn't cause this, what probably caused this was that his friend wants to have him to herself, and sees you as a very real threat to her relationship with him. She may not even want him romantically, but just doesn't want to share him. Things can be so complicated sometimes. Best to step back and let them sort it out.
2006-09-20 03:44:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO...the trifle things heh. Something tells me you knew they were good things from the beginning of your relationship with your BF. You should have been OK from the start and not so jealous. To late however you ****** em up real good. Though I'm willing to bet not for very long. BTW you started the mess now clean it up.
2006-09-20 03:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't think you really should have said anything to the girl in the first place, it's something you should have to your boyfriend... but, all water under the bridge. If she was really trying to break you two up then why do you want them to be friends?
2006-09-20 03:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by tbayxxxv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make Your Friend Want To Listen.
2006-09-20 03:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by mks 7-15-02 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot see anything you have done here that is wrong. It was proper for you to make your feelings known to them. It would have been worse for you to keep quiet and be hurting inside. So cheer up.
2006-09-20 03:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by Johannu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋