How do you address this situation. I have been "dating" off and on for over 2 years a woman who pulls me in but when things get too close she backs off. She is still tangled up with her ex g/f simply b/c they have a child,she says she still has left over feelings for her. I saw her last nite for the first time in 2 weeks b/c we were both working in and out of town. Prior to her leaving 2 weeks ago she told me she was done with the ex g/f and was tired of the constant arguing etc with her...said she wasnt going to see her anymore. We had been enjoying probably the best time in our dating "career" at that point. Now, shes back, I am back and we spent time together yesterday and this morning. We had fun and laughed...but the spark was sort of not there. Am I asking for too much? I feel my own inability to speak up has hindered things to some degree. She told me she was going to spend time reflecting on her situation while she was gone. What would you say, do, ask, or act?
2006-09-20 02:56:00 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sit down and let her know that you are really feeling her and need to know where this relationship is going to go or if it's going too ever go further than it has. That' s the best thing you can do because getting involved with someone that is already attached isn't healthy ex-specially if she can't seem to break away from her ex. You'll always be the other girl trying to win her heart while her ex already has it so it's best that you ask her what her intentions are before you develop deeper feelings for her. Good Luck
2006-09-20 03:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had no idea women have committment issues too. Sweetie, speak up, Tell her what is bothering you. Hell no you are not asking for too much. You are a woman and all women want the same thing just in your case you want it from another woman, that is no concern of mine. Tell her how you feel and if she doesn't like it, bump her and move on. The time she is spending reflecting on her situation could very well end in the two of you spilting and she and the ex hooking up again in turn making you a thrid wheel. If she doesn;t want to get with the programme that is you, bump her m&#!er F*@#%&g
A$$
2006-09-20 03:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that the fact she pulls you in, then pushes you out should be a red flag. of course its ok to occasionally question or rethink, but hot/cold emotions borderlines on emotional abuse. thats my opinion. i am a bisexual female and i was with a woman for 5 years. she did the same thing to me. one day she was all hot and in my pants, the next day she said that i was the one who was being too forward. she said that it wasnt me, it was her and she needed time to deal with her own personal issues. it turned out that she was banging everyone in town but me-male or female and her "space" was just a trick so she could get some more action.
Now I am in a very loving relationship with a man (my first boyfriend in damn near 10 years) and he has NO problem telling me each and every day how much he cares for me and how special i am to him. I never got that from the women in my life. he never pulls back emotionally, he is always there and it is constant. i like that.
some people will tell you BS that woman/woman relationships will never work because its a sin (obviously, I dont believe that) but what i have noticed is that sometimes all that estrogen can be a bad thing...haha. seriously, we women are just wired that way to be fluxuating emotional, whereas men are more constant. with women, its hard to line up your "ebbing" and "flowing" of emotions with one antoher so that the two of you are on a constant sphere or plane of understanding.
maybe the two of you should talk about your feelings in a manner that no one could get upset, lay the cards on the table. dont pressure her, cause women dont like to be quizzed about what when where who they were doing.
but, honestly if you are not getting the emotional satisfaction that YOU need after two years, its probably time to move on and not invest anymore. thats where i was in my relationship, after 2 years i was not happy emotionally and then i lost anoter 3 years trying to make something work that just wasnt there.
best of luck to you
2006-09-20 03:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like things have been so strained of recent that maybe you are in need of a break from the relationship for a little longer... let her get herself head worked out... maybe you need to date some other people to have a change of pace...
then decide after a little time whether you want to get back together...
2006-09-20 03:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her time to reflect on things and while she's doing that do the same. When she comes back see how things are and take it from there.
2006-09-20 03:03:34 · answer #5 · answered by Mary Rose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-17 08:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drama...to much drama. Did you ever wonder why same sex relationships don't work or are very short lived? So far from my experience of knowing many people with same sex relationships all of them don't last very long at all.
2006-09-20 03:06:24 · answer #7 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just move on..or at least try to. The chick your dating has too much baggage right now. If and when she unloads some of it, you can consider dating again. It's not fair to you.
2006-09-20 03:07:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like she has unresolved issues with her ex-g/f - she will never be able to commit to you until she resolves these issues -let her go - it will only cause heartache for you - it's hard i know, but you gotta be strong - maybe she will appreciate what she lost once you have moved on.
2006-09-20 03:04:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks you are on the "losing" end of a rebound thing. Use caution here
2006-09-20 03:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by raykpcs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋