we have to go meet with the priest tommorow night. what kind of questions is he going to ask. i know they will marry us if we were never wed before but what is i have a child out of wedlock? what other kinds of stuff do they ask you when you meet with the priest.
2006-09-20 02:38:37 · 14 answers · asked by alabama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My husband is Catholic and I am not, we have never had any issues, but he will ask you to promise to bring up any children in the Catholic faith, which we have done so be prepared for this. I'm not sure what else he will ask for, remember they do not believe in divorce.
2006-09-20 02:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon the priest and the diocese, but I'll give it a shot. You will need to go through pre-marital counselling with this priest, or whatever other group they use for this. It's actually rather interesting - you learn a lot about your partner! The biggest thing, if you are not converting to Catholicism, is that you must agree to raise your children Catholic. You need to talk to your man about this ahead of time, because you two have to be totally on the same page about this. This means having the children receive Sacraments, etc.. It makes no difference that you have a child already - the church sees the child as an innocent. All priest's interviews are different - the basic one is why you want to get married (think about that one and have it ready - not just "we love each other"), how long you have been together; in your case he'll ask maybe about your religion and if you are willing to do the aforementioned with your children in the marriage. One interesting thing from our meeting with the priest - he asked us what the most important part of the wedding was, and why. I confidently answered that it was the ceremony, and said all the stuff about being united with God's blessing, etc. and I was wrong! It's the celebration - the gathering of friends, family and community to publicly celebrate marriage with the couple and to welcome them into this wonderful new state. Go figure! Wish you luck! (remember, priests are totally human. You can't shock them - they've heard it all, and they do tons of counselling, so they are really good listeners. Ask all the questions you need to.)
2006-09-20 14:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the priest....
He will probably give you a, literal, test. It's stupid, I know.
Then he will probably ask a battery of questions about your relationship. Just make sure you lie and don't say you live together (if you do). Also, don't say you are on birth control if you are. (My aunt was going to get married, and is Catholic, and so was her fiance, but when she admitted she was on birth control, for her endometriosis, the priest refused to marry them. They had to find a different priest after that.)
Just make sure you answer the way you think the church would want. I know it sounds unethical, but you don't want any more problems than you could get.
As for the child, that's a sticky situation. I would honestly try to avoid the subject, but if you can't then be as honest and humble as possible. Is the child baptised? They might want him to become Catholic before they marry you.... since most of the time they make you pledge that you will raise any children that you have Catholic.
Then the priest will send you to a pre-canna retreat. Some people say it was a real eye-opener, others think it is a waste of time. My personal, cynical, thoughts are that it's a waste of a Saturday, but you have to jump through the hoops to get married in the church.
Now I know I may have freaked you out, but take a breather. If you have a good priest then you should really have nothing to worry about, and if you happen to get a bad apple, then you can always go find one that will be good. Priests are like cars, take a test drive. If you don't like it then go try another.
Good Luck. LK
2006-09-20 10:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't know what kind of questions the priest will ask you, I know that they don't believe in divorce and they might ask you to convert to the Catholic faith, just go with your heart and if the Catholic church asks you a question and refuses to marry you based on your answer then get married somewhere else (like in a non-denominational church), if your hubby doesn't agree to this then he probably wasn't meant to be.
I am an english baptist and my hubby is afrikaans NG Kerk which is very strict, but luckily our minister was really cool about doing my half of the service in english. Good luck with the big day and remember EAT BEFORE THE CHURCH SERVICE as you won't want to eat later on at the reception.
2006-09-20 09:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Pie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having a child out of wed lock will not prevent the Church from conducting the marriage ceremony. You needn't worry about that. Basically, the priest is going to go over the requirements for receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony, give you lists of Bible readings and music selections that you and your fiancee choose to use during the ceremony.
Seriously, there's nothing to worry about. Most likely, the priest whom you meet will be the one who actually resides over the ceremony. He may simply want to get to know the happy couple better.
The meeting also presents opportunity for Q&A, so if there is anything you want to talk to the priest about, that's the time to do it.
2006-09-21 08:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by Daver 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They will ask if you intend to raise the child in the Catholic faith and talk about how you view things like finances, faith, etc. They just want you to talk about things that will effect your married life.
The fact that you had a child out of wedlock should have no bearing on you getting married in the church
2006-09-21 08:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The priest that interregated me (31 years ago) got personal. If you had a child out of wedlock, he's not going to like that. Hopefully you will get a young priest. An old or older priest might have some issues. Don't let him intimidate you. Stand your ground.
2006-09-20 09:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by sheeny 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This largely depends on how old the priest is. Older catholic priests tend to be more set in their ways and beliefs. Younger priests have moved with the times and are less strict. The Catholic church tends to be set in the past but it is slowly catching up.
2006-09-20 09:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by HIGHWAYSTAR 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i'm not catholic, but i do know this: when my brother wanted to marry my sister-in-law, her priest wouldn't allow it w/o sending his family a horribly intrusive, ridiculous quiz about why he had divorced his 1st wife. most of the questions were things i didn't think were any of their business so i refused to answer them (with approval from my brother). they ended up not marriying in her catholic church because her priest said he wouldn't marry them because: a) my brother's divorce wasn't officially recognized by the catholic church, b) my nephew was born to my brother out of wedlock and c) my sister-in-law & my brother had been living together before marriage & weren't thrilled with the idea of living apart until the wedding.
2006-09-20 15:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by ms v 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He will ask you to raise the children catholic,,he may even ask if you have thought of converting,you don't have too but he may ask. As for the child out of wedlock don't sweat it I'm catholic and I married a none catholic who does not want to convert,,take it easy relax he is there to help you not judge you ..Congrats on the up coming marriage!!
2006-09-20 09:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by enoughmichele04 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if you're divorced you might have a problem because the catholic church does not recognise divorce, only annulment by the church authorities. the rest shouldn't be a problem, unless the priest is a serious old crusty.
2006-09-20 09:48:12 · answer #11 · answered by nerdyhermione 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋