what do you think of teenage mothers?

Question

I had my daughter when i was 18 ( i'm now 25) and i always felt there was a stigma attached. I have worked since my daughter was small and always paid my own way. my daughter is very bright and well behaved. why is it that people think that all teen mothers are living on benefits with screaming brats that run wild and why are teen mums portrayed in such a bad light by the media? I am not in anyway condoning teens having babies before anyone says it but even now people raise their eyebrows at me when i say i had a kid at 18... why?

Answer 1

I was also a teenage mother, I had my daughter when I was 17, and she is now a junior in high school and an honor student with plans on becoming a nurse. She has never given me any trouble and I attribute that to the fact that not only am I a good parent but her father has always been a active part of her life. Moreover, I met a wonderful man when she was 11 months old and later married him and he has also been a positive influence on my daughter. So to all those who believe that all teen mothers are on welfare, with snooty nosed, rowdy, uneducated and unruly children. I'd like to say never judge a book by it's cover and that although some of us were young when we had our child it doesn't mean that we are incapable of raising happy, productive members of society. And kudos to All the good parents out there, YOUNG & OLD!

Answer 2

I too was a young mother! 17! My daughter is 9 this year.
I went to work when my daughter was 6 months old and continue to now. I have never calimed any benefits, now own my own property after privatley renting for 5 years, and feel that I have achived a lot.

I do see why people raise eyebrows to be honest, I do too. Many teenage mums don't work, sponge off the state and neglect their children. So in theroy you can thank the spongers for portraying themselves in a bad light. The media only picks up on an issue which is already there.

Why worry about raised eyebrows? If you know that your giving your child the best possible up bringing, and being the best possible parent you can be, then rise above it!

When young girls stop getting pregnant in order to get council houses and state benefits, rather than making something of their lives, it may become more acceptable (don't hold your breath though).

I couldn't care less what people think of me. I know that i'm a good mother, that my daughter is happy andi s in all of the top classes in school (so I must be doing something right!)

Be pround of the fact that although you were a young mother, you don't fall into the 'Vicky Pollard' catogory like so many others!

Answer 3

I can say from experience (I was a mom at 14), that if you grow up and take care of the child, they are no different than anyone else. However, I believe that some people look down on me because of my age. My son is 8 and he is in third grade. Just the other week, I went to a parent teacher meeting and the teacher pulled me aside to tell me that she wanted my son tested for the Delta program, for advanced children. The other parents kept talking down to me the rest of the time and talked to me like I was stupid and that my son should be stupid too because I was a teenage mother. I dont think its fair, you can be a bad parent if your young or old or whatever. I personally think that its worse to be a parent that is really old when their child is born. It seems unfair that you have a baby that could lose a parent of old age at any point. You hear of people having babies at 60 or something, and they will be almost 80 by the time they get out of high school. They may not be around for the kids marraige or grandchildren and that just doesnt seem fair to the child.

Answer 4

Teen mothers have existed for centuries and it was actually accepted by our society to be a teen mother back in the late 1800s and early 1900s. My aunt was a mother and wife at 14 - with a 12 yr old step child (she married a widow)
Society today has taken a view that motherhood should start after college (in a perfect world) but we all know that doesn't happen. So if you are a good mother and mature, dont worry about what others think of you. 18 was a very normal age for first time mothers in the 50's I just think people are used to seeing women wait to have kids lately and this why they are raising their eyebrows. You should just hold you head high and know that many women have had children at the age of eighteen and younger and they also are excellent mothers. Be proud of it.

Answer 5

Well done to you for speaking up. There is often a stigma attached with being a teenage mother and there always will be one.

But you have to be fair in saying that the majority of them are on benefits and dont want to go out and work. The fact that you aer working and willing to pay your way and raise your child properly should make people realise that you are not one of these "stereotypes".

You dont say if you are on your own or with a partner, but whichever it is, I had my little girl at 21 and had (still have) a partner, and I find it very hard to raise children. I have to take my hat off to an 18 year old who can do it.

Answer 6

I had my daughter at 16 and my son at 19 and I think I am the luckiest person in the world! I have 2 beautiful kids and me and my husband have been married for 5 yrs and he works extremely hard for a living. He has a well paid job while I look after the kids and home during the day we do everything as a family at night dinner bath-time and story time then they go to bed at 7.30 to give myself and my husband the rest of the night to ourselves. I would challenge anyone who said that because I'm only 22 I haven't lived or enjoyed life!! I couldn't be happier although there are some teen mothers who don't deserve to have kids I don't think everyone because of their age should be tarred with the same brush!!

Answer 7

I had my eldest when I was 19 he turned 14 a few days a ago and is a wonderful lad. Bright, respectful, witty and the light of my life. There is a stigma attached to being a young Mom because there are some bad examples out there. At there same time there are bad Mom's of every age but the age is only ever mentioned when they are very young. We are proof that being young does not mean bad parent. Just keep on raising your daughter as you are and rise above the people who see as there job to judge.

Answer 8

I was 17 when I had my first baby.I know exactly what you mean about the way people think of teenage mums.When I was in hospital after the birth of my first,I caught some nurses whispering over my baby's cot' saying isn't it a shame and why doesn't she have her adopted etc,I was too timid then to speak up for myself but I will always remember such things.They could not grasp the fact that I loved and wanted my baby.I just wish they could see now,36 years down the line how well adjusted and well mannered children they all became and grew up to be people that any parent would be proud of.
I am still young enough now to enjoy shopping with them and playing with all my grandchildren.Its great.

Answer 9

I had my daughter 2 months after I turned 18, and I was old enough. Now, younger than that.....is different. By having a baby at 18, it taught me how to struggle at a younger age, and it held me back for futhering my education. Now, 10 yrs and 2 kids later, I'm so busy raising my family that I can't find extra time to start a career. Sad, huh? That's the bad part of having a baby too young.

But even in the 'olden' days, they was getting MARRIED at 14! So this has been happening since the beginning of time!

I love it when people tell me I look too young to have a 10 year old.

Answer 10

Just a stigma. My birthmother had me at 15. I think we're both none the worse for wear. People will think what they want. As long as mother and child are well, healthy, and as adjusted as possible.

I still think being a teenager when having a child is way too young, but things do happen, its just that with having a child, a teen has to grow up very fast. Sometimes they can't handle it. I think that's where the stigma comes in because the rotten apples always get the press, leaving good single teen moms in the dust.