I am 19 years old and I work a full time job, pay for my own education, and go to school full time...perodically, when I come home and if I am not too tired...I will clean the house. My parents conned me into staying with them after high school and I continue to live with them to stack cash, so that when I get married and move out...I will have quite amount of cash. First of all, my father goes through my room. Then, yesterday I came home from work and my mail was opened with my name on it...I do not bank with him anymore because he likes to ask "Why were you at McDonalds today?" even though its my money from work. Then, he had to spend 200 bucks to get a new rim for my car and he acted like it was a problem. First time he's spent money on me in years Then, I got upset and went to my room and he comes into my room trying to intimidate me because if we fight, he will either hit me or scream at me. I have tried that I am not a child, but do you think they still consider one? What do I do
2006-09-19 23:55:44 · 12 answers · asked by brittneyafoster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hahahaha, what is that dude talking about? Where did I say I had a kid? I don't have no kids..I'm still in college..wtf? I'm not a single mother...roflmao! It's just me living in this house with my parents...no kids. If I had a child, I need to be out on my own..if I'm grown enough to make babies..lol. Also...at the time when they conned be into staying..it was after I graduated high school and I didnt have money to attend college or get my own place..my parents were the ones paying and they lied and said they couldnt find an apartment for me...in ATLANTA of all places. Then everytime I talk of moving out, my mom cries.
2006-09-20 00:28:38 · update #1
Also, I'm sorry but I do not agree....when its my money that I'm, spending...no one has a right to question me about how Im spending it and constantly give me a report on everything I do...which I why I closed that bank account with him. Also, just because I live with my parents doesn't make me any less of a person or it doesnt mean that someone can disrespect me..I have offered to pay rent and it was turned down. So I expect some sort of respect, but what I can expect when he tries to control my mothers money as well.
2006-09-20 00:30:28 · update #2
I can take care of myself...I asked him if he wanted me to pay him...but I still take into consideration that at 19...he shouldnt have a problem helping me when I need it, I don't ask him for anything. He gives his mother and sister money and they are 65 and 30. I'm sorry that for the first time in almost a year....he's had to pay something for me, but yet he brags all the time about his six figure salary. At 19...most kids parents are paying for college, dorms, food, cars and a bunch of other **** I dont ask him for. I've taken quite a load off his back...it shouldnt be a problem to help me out every now and then.
2006-09-20 00:35:59 · update #3
I really think it is either time for you to get a lock on your door, or time for you to move out.
You are an adult now. They have no right to be going through your things or trying to control you.
You seem like a very responsible person with a good head on your shoulders. I suspect you will adjust quite nicely to independent living or living with a roommate. That way you can still visit your parents when you want to or have them visit you, yet they will not feel they can treat you the same way they feel they can treat you now. In fact, I'm sure they will come to respect the fact that you are able to run your own life & household. The peace of mind will be well worth it.
Sometimes it's hard for parents to accept that their kids are not children anymore. They are growing up.
Good luck
2006-09-20 00:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by julie j 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first, if he or any other person ever hits you first get away and then call the police! Never ever get in the habit of allowing that to happen. I have slapped my daughter once in my life but only when being attacked and only because that was the only option I had to make her stop. Second since you apparently fear that is going to happen at some point I suggest you start finding a way to get out because hun itisn't worth it.
Now as far as them going through your room and having goofy rules and things like that. While I may not agree with their rules and you may not agree with them, and think they are stupid, it is their home, and they are offering it to you and they can make any rule they want. They may have conned you into staying there but you didn't say they have you handcuffed to the wall. No I don't think being at McDonalds should be a big deal, and being the dad of kids 27, 15, 14 years old it souds as though there are some real issuse going on there, but even if you are 29 and living with them they can raise hell about anything they want in their house and they are going to. You will never win that arguement as long as you live.
Ah Ha That just goes to proove even though you think you know what the hell your talking about read something twice because you may have preconcieved notions about something which I obviously did and I appologize for that. In the case of no kids what are we talking about? You either follow their rules or you move out. Its that simple. You dont how ever put up with violence even if you do choose to stay. That isnt part of the rules for living any where.
2006-09-20 07:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 19. You have a job and you Can obviously take care of your self. find a place then move. Tell them about it while you are in the middle of moving your stuff and make sure they know exactly why. You are a grown woman and you do not have to put up with that treatment. The first time he hit you should have reported him. There is absolutely no excuse. It sounds like abuse to me, eve the way he is trying to control you. Find a place right away and get out. IF you are wanting to save up money find a room mate that will split the rent with you.
2006-09-20 07:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by passionparties_by_suzanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I see here that was your mistake is why did your father have to pay for your tire rim if you have money saved? You need to be taking care of your own expenses. In all other things mentioned here I believe your father may be trying to control your life. He should NOT be opening your mail. He has no right to hit you and could be arrested for doing so. Since you say "they" I assume your mother is there to. What is your mother's feelings about this? It might be time for you to think about getting your own place to live. Maybe get a roommate to share expenses.
Good Luck
2006-09-20 07:32:02 · answer #4 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents still treat me like a child even though I am 24-years-old. They don't have a right to open your mail, especially when you are over 18. I would try to find some place else to live, or talk to a counselor by yourself if your parents won't talk to you. Maybe you could move in with a friend and split the rent. Good luck!
2006-09-20 07:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by poeticjustice 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hits you, girl it is time to move out of the house! You are an adult and seem to be providing for yourself. It sounds like you have a level head on your shoulders, so I would say get you a new home. Your father does still consider you a child, and you are NOT his punching bag.
2006-09-20 07:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how much money you are saving by living with your parents - it is not worth it, if you have to put up with abuse, invasion of privacy, intimidation, etc. Find your own place - maybe with a room-mate to keep costs down to a reasonable level.
2006-09-20 07:20:40 · answer #7 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not right the way your father is treating you and your mother is emotionally blackmailing you, get out of there! i'm 26, i moved out when i was 17, we now get along better. you could get a shared home owner deal with a housing association, look in to it, it might be the right thing for you. hope it all works out.
2006-09-20 08:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by Topaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because of your age, it would seem you have earned your right to privacy. If positive communication is not possible with your parents, then moving on is your best choice. They will come to appreciate you once you are on your own.
2006-09-20 07:00:16 · answer #9 · answered by Letsee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you either need to find a relative to stay with or get a dorm or roomate apartment or rent a room somewhere. but i would move out.
2006-09-20 06:59:16 · answer #10 · answered by marilee w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋