I am in a commited relationship and I love him very much. We are terribly mean to each other at times. Why is it that we hurt the ones that we love the most? Any advice for me would be great- I want to get along better with my man but I find myself worrying so much that I will lose him.
2006-09-19 23:40:28 · 25 answers · asked by sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, there is a very thin line between love and hate. I don't really know why we do things that we know are going to hurt the one we love and I'm sure that you will get answers that "well you don't love each other then" but I really don't think that's always the case. The best advice I can give you is try to communicate better but both of you have to be willing to try not to do this to each other because if only one person is putting forth the effort then it's not going to work. Have you tried any type of counseling? Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-19 23:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be worried so much about losing him, that it has consumed any thoughts of why you are together in the first place. Love should not have to hurt, and it sounds like you both have to start loving yourselves first in order for you to be able to accept the love from each other. Marriage councelling would not be a bad thing, if both of you are willing to participate. If he is not willing, then you should see someone for guidance on what you can do differently to save your marriage as you're the concerned one about losing him. For every action, there will be a reaction. Your action for self improvement may motivate him to do the same, if not, atleast you tried and maybe it would be an idea for a time out, whether it be temporary or permanent, that would be up to you. Just don't give up without trying first.
2006-09-20 06:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a thin line between love and hate!
Also because you are in a committed relationship, you might feel more free to tell each other some truths that you wouldn't tell others for the sake of keeping peace and bottling up isn't all that healthy.
Kiss and make up after a fight at the other hand, can be fun!
2006-09-20 06:45:20 · answer #3 · answered by alternative_be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becuase there are times when people become more commited to being right than to being in love. They do this because it is a way of justify a certain way of being. This way of being was born out of a failure the person experienced when they were younger. The reason they give up love in those moments to justify this way of being is because they have no real idea it is what they are doing. They simply live in a reaction to a situation.
Be honest with him about your fears. The lead by example. Totally except him for who he is and who he isn't. Then give up being right, especially when you know you are right. Im not saying scrifice who you are or what you believe, you can still share those things with people without having to be right about it.
Also life is a game, have fun with it!.
*smile*
2006-09-20 07:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by Mindwalker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the old saying we always hurt the ones we love....lets face it if you dont love someone its hard for them to hurt you.
its only the opinions/comments from people that you care about that you listen too enough that it can hurt.
you obviously love each other just try to let the little things slide...or if he says something that upsets you ask then and there and let him know how it makes you feel....say it and ask in a nice way and you normally put the fire out immediately....and hopefully things will get better...generally speaking one good turn will deserve another and someone has to be the bigger person initially. Good luck
2006-09-20 06:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by askaway 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To much drama. Fighting and hurting each other like that means your not compatible. You should break up or separate for a while and see how that gos before you really commit to each other. You don't want all that drama around small children. Do you? That is, if you marry and start a family.
2006-09-20 07:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From experience you probably dont love him as much as you think if you are willing to be that mean he is probably just so comfortable you would not know what to do without him. I did the same thing with the woman of my dreams for 18 years until she left me and was devastated, and then ya know I found she wasnt really so hot. She wasnt as sweet as I thought and certainly not as good in bed as she convinced me she was. Wasnt that mean? lol And you know I'm not at all mean to my new love.
2006-09-20 06:46:38 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Sarah,all of us are selfish,love happens when we compromise our selfish attributes for some one,there we love that person more than us.But as with all other achievements we take our love for granted too,there arises the problem,we get selfish again.We start having expectations from the person we love,and when our expectations are not fulfilled we get irritated and act mean to each other.under the spell of irritation we say mean words to each other.selfless love is the only way you can curtail it .
2006-09-20 06:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by cool123 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All the answer you could ever want to know about love you can find in the book 'The 5 love laughes'. That book has saved more marrages then I can count!
2006-09-20 06:43:49 · answer #9 · answered by Sekkennight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rush and grab John Gray's Books..u'll understand all the things
that u were trying to understand.
title: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
2006-09-20 06:45:28 · answer #10 · answered by r3raju 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋