I'm only 18 but I never want to have a bf or get married?

Question

I hate all men but I really dont know why. I have no personal reason to, I've never been in one of those abusive controlling psycho relationships, never been cheated on, most of the men that Ive come across in my life have been really nice, genuine people. sometimes i want a bf but i feel disgusted at the thought of being intimate well unless this is weird but unless I get to dominate him? im not a feminist but I would rather be a lesbian than go anywhere near a guy. Is that normal? please dont tell me to see a shrink. I dont want to share this with anyone. when i try talking to my mom she just says concentrate on your schoolwork not boys, etc. I'm too embarrased to tell my friends.
Also when i go out i dont wear nice cute clothes, i try them on at home but I wear grey or brown or black really loose fitting clothes. I feel really ugly and unattractive sometimes.
pls be serious.

Answer 1

AT YOUR AGE WHAT YOU SHOULD PRIMARILY CONCENTRATE ON IS YOUR EDUCATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE WILL COME LATER WHEN YOU ARE MATURE AND SUCCESSFUL !!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

clothes do not make the person. Dress however you feel comfortable. If you are not attracted to men and would rather be a lesbian then you might be a lesbian. If you are not attracted to anyone of either sex then you just haven't found the right person. There are many men out here that want to be dominated so you may find your prince charming yet. You shouldn't worry about it, just have fun and let what happens happen. You are still very young.

Answer 3

Its ok in todays society it has made it so you can get all you want out of people you don't have to get married as for your mom she is right in telling you to worry about your schooling since thats what matters when you start your new life on your own as for wanting to dominate him well thats usually what ends up happening in todays relationships anyways since men dont seem to be the tough guys anymore so I dont think you will have too much trouble when you go out and get married if you want to later anyways

Answer 4

It sounds to me that you are either a lesbian or just a cold and distant person. If you are the former, accept it and just be all about the ladies. If you are a cold person, you need to open up more. Even if you need the help of a shrink to help you do this.

Eventually you will want someone in your life. You will not like the prospects of dying a lonely old woman.

Answer 5

You sound like me when I was younger.

I'm sure you'd like to discover the reasoning behind your dislike or "disinterest" for the opposite sex.

Did you ever grow up with a father figure, a real father present in your life, or a lack of paternal guidance?

Most of the time, girls like you (and me) grow up with out a real paternal figure eventhough they're there - around - not really spending quality time with you while growing up - and grows distant as you flourish to a young woman.

Don't be bothered by your current preference in life. In fact, take advantage of it. I know - you feel lonely and sometimes due to social and peer pressure, you want to get on for the experience, but not really because you want it.

Maybe you dislike men because your role models never provided you with the opportunity to develop some semblance of respect for their own species and that all you witnessed were losing propositions filled with bad decisions leading to worse situations - ;-P

Hold yourself up high. This is a good chance for you to focus on the goals you want to achieve in life. Don't be pressured with what you see or what's around you. Specially if you really have no preferential motivation towards this relationship at this time.

Trust me. I personally never had anyone from the time I graduated from my diapers to the time I received my post graduate degree and juggling 5 successful jobs.

I was surrounded by male friends throughout this early lifetime. Modesty aside, I had so much invitations and courtships in many different styles, approaches and forms - and not a single one fainted my wall - or as how my mother puts it - my rhinaucerus(?) skin (pardon me - it's 12mn and my brain's getting fried) -

All these "thick" skinned wall scaled off when I finally met my husband. And my "tomboyishness" vanished automatically - never to return again - well, only when I'm around him. The nature comes back instinctively when I'm on my own.

So - don't feel bothered by who you are. That's a wonderful sign of a very strong personality who will go a long, long way - you may be a tomboy (not lesbian) by mind - but not by heart.

Answer 6

I guess as a child you've always been told what to do, what to like, all the Dos and Don'ts. Constantly disciplined. And not much attention given to you. Thus, the feeling of domination, and hatred towards men. Possibility only! Good luck!

Answer 7

it may depend on certain things like your childhood, life changing experiences, etc.

you have to look deep inside your mind and find out the reason why men are hated by you. if you can find that reason, you can fix your problem.

at the moment you're still reasonably young and is probably still searching for your true identity. everybody goes through this stage in their lives and it take some time to figure it out. some may take more time than others.

with regards to your confidence in your appearance, it is probably linked to your hatred for men. so if you should solve that issue it would probably boost your overall confidence.

try hanging out with friends who are positive and who assure you about yourself and what you want. not people who place expectations about who you are. remember to always do what you want but never to hurt anybody else.

good luck in finding yourself.

Answer 8

Most American men are pretty worthless as marriage material. For that matter, most Americans of either gender are pretty worthless. You need to find some real men. Here are places you probably won't find them:

-Office
-Bars
-Beaches
-Most churches
-Fitness clubs
-Street
-Pretty much any other place Americans tend to think of as mate-hunting grounds.

Here are a few places you *might* find good Men:

-Some other country. I can't imagine which one, though.
-Conservative, non-feminized churches. (Some Messianic Jewish churches are good. There are probably other groups that I just haven't had the privilege to visit yet.)
-Churches frequented by military officers, engineers, and skilled craftsmen.

-yk

Answer 9

Learned behavior, TV, parents realtionship, siblings relationship, mental illness, hormones, homosexual, independent, personal preference, psych major doing research. Pick one but I think you already know the answer. You don't have to have a bf or get married and don't let family friends and society lead you to making a mistake. Individuality is a scary thing to people who are weak minded and they just want to drag you down with them.

Answer 10

I have a friend that is not a lesbian, but has never had a boyfriend nor been married, and there is nothing wrong with her. She will look at them and make comments about how cute they are, but she is happier by herself. There is nothing wrong if you don't want that right now... things might change later for you. you never know, your man might come along and totally change your way of thinking

Answer 11

It's an unconventional way to live life, but if that's what you want , then more power to you. I admire people like you, who dont' try to fit in.

It seems like this may be a "phase" that you're going through, and not a lifelong decision, as I know before age 21 your mind isn't developed enough to make lifelong decisions.

I know when I was 18 I wasn't sure about what I wanted my life to be yet.