My bf broke up with me because he said that he can't handle the fact that I have so many guy friends. I am in the ARMY for heaven's sake and before you ask I never did anything to make him not trust me. I even offered to introduce him to my friends. But he didn't want to. I just want someone to explain this to me.
2006-09-19 19:39:55 · 25 answers · asked by Belle B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some people feel it is inappropriate to have friends of the opposite sex,in relationships. It can put a strain on the situation. Especially if it is new. Guidelines help. If your man does not approve and you feel strongly,then find someone else to be involved with.
2006-09-19 19:45:08 · answer #1 · answered by doggilover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one is simple. Men are full of insecurities just like women and even if you are so into your man that you would never cheat men know that every guy in the world is always on the make and sizing up every woman that they see. In almost any setting a man will decide if he would want to have sex with a woman that he see's or meets. Cashier at McDonald's, a client at work, that is why. As far as not wanting to meet people goes, he still see's other man as competition. What if they drive a better car, like a band that he hates and that you love, what if his jokes are just that much funnier than his, what if he is sharp or is strong in some areas of life that are your boyfriends weak spots... after thousands of years, men are still not THAT evolved.
2006-09-19 19:50:14 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just men. There's a lot of women like that also. Maybe he's had an incident in his past that would lead to him be insecure. Now if you're a real good looking chick, then he probably thinks that many guys are trying to be that plutonic friend (Chris Rock version) in your life. Also, how do you feel about him having relationships with females? Do you set a double standard? He should be interested in meeting your friends though. He more than likely sees them as some sort of threat. Maybe that'll help ease his insecurities.
2006-09-19 19:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by hiclaude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf was right to do so. You picked a career that will make it hard to have relationships. I was in the military and when you are on a long deployment chances are you will cheat. My wife was in the Navy and after I got out she cheated too. I just think there is too much temptation. Most guys only want one thing even if you think you are just freinds he is thinking something else. Do yourself a favor and try to date someone in the military. Chances are they will understand more than a civillian. I wasn't saying you would cheat. On deployment you will have temptations and that is putting it mildly. I'm just stating what I saw from a statistical point of view. Do you really want to worry about who he's with while youre away?
2006-09-19 19:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by tengu312003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to make a compromise. I think it was good of you to offer him the cahnce to meet your friends... and obviously it's impossible to always be with him around these guys. He should understand that the army is full of guys, but i can see why he is insecure. The answer from me: Secure him. Show him that you love him...by doing things that show it and by saying the words. after you tell him this and he still won't het back with you...he is just an insecure little boy and you're far too grown up for him.
2006-09-19 19:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by delanodesroches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because women aren't supposed to have straight male friends. Let me break it down for you. All a freindship between two males or two feamles is two people who really like each other, but if they are straight, aren't sexually attracted to one another. I really don't see how a heterosexua man and woman can be just "really good friends". I just don't see how. Like I said, the only thing holding two best male friends or two best female friends from falling in love is the fact that they are not gay...this might not make a lot of sense, but...it makes sense to me, and I hope everyone else gets it.
2006-09-19 19:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anthony R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys, in general, want to believe they are special. They usually require most, (if not "all"), of your attention. This is not possible with a woman who has a lot of "guy" friends.
It just does not compute!
Your special guy wants to be your "everything" man, and with you having so many guy friends from whom you can get just about anything done through, he's not able to provide you with all your needs... at least in a normal guy's mind. He would be having to constantly compete with other guys who might know more than him on any given subject, and he knows you would probably compare his answers, (to any of your day-to-day questions or problems), to theirs?
Who wants that?
If you are so inclined to keep several "male" friends, you're probably not going to find a good man that will tolerate it for very long.
Marriage... forget it!
2006-09-19 19:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by love_2b_curious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply because men understand men! think about it Hun, all men give the front but they are only thinking with little Elvis, just about ummmm 100% of the time... Given the chance anyone of your boys would wax it smack it and rub it down in a hart beat! And well your b-friend knows that and that's a heavy load sometimes...
2006-09-19 19:47:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its like this. He is feeling lik eyou pay more attention to them than to him. Posibally you talk alot more about your guy friends to him and don't try to carry a conversation about what he wants to talk about or posibally he feels threaten because this has happened to him before where the girl that had so many guy friends ended the relationship for one of those guys. The thing i syou just need to sit down and talk to him and find out his feelings adn thoughts and than you will understand why he is insecure. And than you can help him build his security up.
2006-09-19 19:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by se_22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing too do with anything that you have done. Men know that men are generally only friends with a woman because they want too have sex with her. Maybe not today or next week but they always have the thought in the back of their mind that someday they will have sex with you. Dont be fooled, they all want it.
2006-09-19 19:44:17 · answer #10 · answered by bsd300d 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋