OK! Please adults over 40, I had a relationship with this guy it went on for about 5 months!( We were also old friends from alongtime ago) We finally hooked up after 20 years! Our relationship was getting serious, we were practicaly living together, well something was brought up about that and he ran for the hills! (he doesn't have a good track record) he wanted to go back and start to begin a "casual relationship" well I tried it for like a few days and then decieded to tell him that it wasn;t going to work, and all he said was " If that's what you want" and nothing else, well I have given him some time alone and I decieded I want him back in my life! So I called him and asked him to come for dinner, we were trying to figure a day and he came up with one himself, which is in a few days! Good sign? So! my ? is do you think it is possable to start over? Start slow and see where it goes?
2006-09-19 18:03:01 · 13 answers · asked by teddiflower 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes it is possible. This relationship is between you and him. I don't know all the particulars but after 20 years you both certainly have some experience with relationships gone awry. You know the expression...once burned, etc.
Communication is the only answer, you both have to speak up and share with each other exactly what it is you expect from the other and then decide if you both can live with those expectations and progress to a new level.
Your dinner will go well. enjoy it
2006-09-20 06:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by rascal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is running scared! You did nothing wrong so don't blame yourself. I say yes go for it but keep your options open. Maybe if you give him a little competition or don't seem so available he will decide he needs to lock you into something!!! If this does not work and he drops you then like they say, "He is not really into you" but I believe you have to go after what you want. Love like you have never been hurt before and roll with the punches. lol I know enough with the cliches!!! Good Luck from another 40 something. Don't worry the 40s look good and we can have some fun, we just have to remember to be light and fun because they do run for the hills on a regular basis!!!
2006-09-20 01:45:59 · answer #2 · answered by babeegirl1966 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for starters i would say dont even bother. the relationship will not b any diff now. Not trying to hurt ur feelings but if u were important to him he wouldve not just left the relationship. Now for the female trickery b/c if i know women (hehehe) u r gonna give it a shot anyway. first of all men want what the cannot have (sorry for the generalization fellas) so if u r gonna 'take it slow' DON'T GIVE UP THE BOOTY!! make him sweat, and if he says anything, you say 'honey i'm doing this for you, you obviously have commitment problems so lets just continue to take it slow, I want a commitment b4 we take this to the next level again" (see how fast he runs girl lol) anyway keep the game up dont call him let him call you, just dont make urself so available, again remember they want what they cant have. I know this seems childish and manipulative but it works.
Or... you can just make him a booty call and know it wont ever be anything more, make him Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right. But again your best bet would be to move on c/ maybe thats part of the attraction for you, wanting what you know you cant have, the thrill of the chase so to speak
2006-09-20 07:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by Miss B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It sounds like you still have feelings for him. Since moving too fast (when you were almost living together) scared him away, I suggest moving slowly. Take it one day at a time & just enjoy his company.
Sometimes the key to a great relationship is NOT living together. Life is short. If he makes you laugh, feel comfortable & you feel as if time stops when you are with him, then go for it!
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-19 18:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not over 40 but here goes. it is possible to start over again as long as you both know where you stand. for you that is having to realise that he doesn't want to get married or move in together. you need to be okay with this and not to expect anything more from him. things look positive for you to have the relationship that you had but it will not progress any further. if you are happy with this arrangement then go for it and good luck.
2006-09-19 18:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by burn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am close to 70 and I say forget him for any thing more than a guy you might want to talk with once-in-awhile.
Move on to someone else you will be much happier if you do. I am assuming you are looking for a more committed relationship and the only way that is going to happen is to find someone else.
2006-09-19 20:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by Aliz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm only 29 but I've been to that kind of thing. I think he just got scared of the future. Try to take it smooth and slow then cross your fingers that maybe this time the fire will keep-on between the both of you for life. Good Luck!!! ^_^
2006-09-19 19:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by Jowi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd start looking for someone new. If he has a bad track record as you say it's not going to change. And he has been upfront with you and told you he doesn't want to move in. Don't waste your time waiting around.
2006-09-20 06:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by jenn h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never go back. It just doesn't happens. Move on and avoid even more pain. Just calling him up has given him a degree of control over you. No woman ever needs that.
2006-09-19 18:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by M. J. B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, there's a nice little book that i think you need to pick up. You can buy it at Target, Wal-Mart, or even Barnes and Noble. It's called "He's just not that into you." Read it before you label me as harsh. Yes, I know nothing about your relationship, but (from having read the book myself) I guarantee, he would not have said "If that's what you want" if he was really that into you. Read it, I guarantee it will be helpful to you.
2006-09-19 18:09:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋