My daughter has a 'friend' from school who about two months ago they were boyfriend and girlfriend. he is 3 years older, does drugs, drinks and he is just about every parents nightmare. I tried to not make a big deal of it at first because usually when you do that you just make it worse. And I didn't know he did drugs nor did I know he was 3 years older. He looks her age. However I couldn't ignore the drugs thing so I will not allow her to hang out with him. Of course she see's him at school and I dont like it but now she is in trouble for hanging out with him and getting caught by the police for smoking. Am I wrong for picking her friends? She is 15 years old.
2006-09-19 17:49:49 · 14 answers · asked by mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you are just being a mother you want what is best for you daughter so keep doing what you are doing she may hate you for it now but in the future she will thank you
2006-09-19 17:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by tpchick22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are completely right, she doesn't need to be hanging out with people like that, and if she doesn't choose to stay away from them, then she lost the privlage of choosing her own friends.
It is a big deal, cause she will probably end up getting in just as much trouble, if not more than he is later on. If it was my daughter I would go to all levels to keep her from him, even if it meant switching schools. And just try to gently tell her that your the parent, the wiser one, and you are boss, not her
2006-09-19 17:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by wyomingirlie16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT!?!?!?!
If you love your daughter then keep her away from him! She'll ruin her whole life by doing drugs and being with that sort of crowd. If you love her, you should make her transfer schools and try to separate them both as far as you can! No you are not wrong for picking her friends... You gave her your trust and she just manipulated you and took over you. You cant trust her anymore... its just so sad that teensagers like me go through
these stuff (13) She needs to earn your trust back. Someday shell realize that you are right and she is wrong for doing all those crap... Don't worry, she'll thank you one day.
2006-09-19 18:18:51 · answer #3 · answered by aznflipgurl808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were your daughter i would understand why you wouldn't want me to hang out with a certain someone if you explain to me nicely in detail and express your concern. Especially since the guys' doing drugs! She's 15, try talking to her, and please don't make the situation tense by exerting the mommy authority when your talking to her, Remember, talking, not commanding. I hope it works.
Commanding her will only make her rebellious towards you and automatically shuts down her "logical thinking system".
2006-09-19 17:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by Raven Hood® 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely considering what you have just been thru. you and her need to sit down and have an honest open conversation where you explain your feelings and she explain hers. let her know what the boundries are by this i mean when you can trust her about making good judgements about the type of people she's hanging out
with she may not like it but she'll thank you in time when she's faced with the same thing with her children. just keep the lines of communication open.
2006-09-19 18:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 15, I'd say she's mostly figured out what kind of person she'll be - you've obviously tried to teach her well and help her make good decisions...but I'd say at this age, you're probably better off supporting her and making sure she doesn't lie to you than trying to make those decisions for her.
2006-09-19 18:01:40 · answer #6 · answered by Mattiacci 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your case, yes. You are doing the right thing by looking out for her.
I don't want to freak you out, but if she is 15 that would make him 18 so anything sexual they might have done would be considered illegal in most states.
2006-09-19 18:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes for some reasons that knowing her friends will secure the family from danger. That for a fact should be known by an an individual...Caution is needed ....
2006-09-19 18:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by desiree gersaniba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No of course not, does she also decide what food you like, if you hate corn, but she says eat it would you? I don't think so! you and you alone are the boss of your world, funny part of life is you can pick your friends but not your relatives! Good Luck!
2006-09-19 17:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Michael 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong with trying to find someone for her who you think is better for her to spend time with and hope they hit it off. it seems that when kids meet kids with different lifestyles, they do a lot of comparison when it comes to their own lives and the lives of their friends. sooner or later she will figure it out. until then just keep worrying, it IS your job, after all, lol.
2006-09-19 17:55:09 · answer #10 · answered by bad kitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋