For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity...A few statements to ponder... George Carlin Quotes:
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts, but as mattresses?
8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him . . . is he still wrong?
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
2006-09-19 17:27:17 · 11 answers · asked by ettezzil 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
11. Is there another word for synonym?
12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
2006-09-19 17:27:45 · update #1
I met George a few years ago at college...COOL character and I even made him laugh on some one liner I have since forgotten. I would like to stay up and ponder however I must get high tomorrow and need to sleep on less brain taxing affairs. Funny stuff here and of course thank you for the chuckles and smiles; good night cruel world! Peace and Love J
2006-09-19 18:58:27 · answer #1 · answered by John L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
one million. Huh!, would not make experience to be honest with you. 2. I agree. 3. properly...that's actual...different than for David Beckham, he's a wuss. 4. i did no longer understand that, so...it may desire to be actual. 5.. that's actual, i've got seen that on television commercials. 6. I agree. 7. that's actual. 8. maximum extremely. 9. did no longer get to examine the full question...or the different varieties of questions/factors to contemplate/ineffective minutiae...yet that's ok, because of the fact i'm constructive that each thing else grew to become into very insightful.
2016-10-15 04:55:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually number 4 is false we evolved from Chimps not monkeys and apes. If we evolved from both of those then we would have two different species of "humans" running around. And we evolved from just a few Chimps not all of them so that specie is still in existence because they still had chimps around when the other chimps evolved. So really yeah that one I actually knew and thought about lol ♥
2006-09-19 19:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
George Carlin is the best... funny fact he is also one of the narrators for the Thomas the tank engine series..kind of an oxy moron.. i think anyway.. big old pervert telling kids stories lol
2006-09-20 10:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funnneee
2006-09-21 02:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by Courage 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cute!
Peace.
2006-09-19 17:35:36 · answer #6 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol... those are very tought questions :)
2006-09-19 17:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were those supposed to be questions? To me they are just one liners.
2006-09-19 17:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anne 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
this was very entertaining
2006-09-19 17:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by bratski 28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thanks - now i won't be able to sleep at all tonight b/c i have so much to ponder
2006-09-19 17:30:07 · answer #10 · answered by momatendofrope 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋