My fiance's two sisters, 21 and 14 are staying with us. They have been with us for two and a half months. They don't clean, and leave their dirty dishes everywhere. We asked them to clean one day and they argued for an hour who was going to do it. Me and my fiance work 40 hours a week and we have to clean on our only days off. Anyway, I told one of them (the 21 yr old) that her and her sister need to pick up after themselves because we work all week and can't keep up with the housework. She got pissed off and slammed the door and has been giving me the cold shoulder all night. I heard her talking to her boyfriend on the phone about me but didn't hear all of what she said. Something like I suck...how can she get so mad just because I asked her to help out around the house? Am I suppose to work all week then bust my as* picking up after them when they trash the house two days later?
2006-09-19 17:25:27 · 15 answers · asked by bookworm1885 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the one that's 21 has a baby sitting job for her aunt from mon thru fri, 7-5. In the month she has been doing it shes gave us maybe $40 or $60.
2006-09-19 17:27:11 · update #1
the only reason they are staying with us is because their mom became a truck driver and just stays in her truck instead of having an apartment. she stays in the housing with her other daughter on the weekends.
2006-09-19 17:35:22 · update #2
This is an issue for your fiance to deal with, as they are his sisters. If you handle the situation (ask them to leave) it may come back to haunt you if later on, there is a dispute between you and him. One thing we all know - they really, really have to go!!
2006-09-19 17:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Your fiance has dragged his family problems in to your dwelling. It is not your responsibility to play parent.
2. Your fiance needs to sit them down and tell them that they will have to find a new arrangement to live. He can help them find a place and that's it.
3. This is just a preview of what your married life will be like with this man and his family. Mother-in-law dumps the kids off at your place and they're not grateful, nor helpful.
4. Go somewhere private with your fiance, so that you can talk freely without interuptions from his family. Spell it out to him that he needs to decide who he wants to have a marriage with — you or them.
5. Tell him you will not spend a day of married life living with his family. Give him a chance to get things off his chest, but if he feels that his sisters are his responsibility, then leave. They are apparently more important than you or intimacy.
6. It's your life, and it's never wrong to back out of something that is going to make you sick and miserable, especially if your mate isn't 100% behind you.
Good Luck and Warm Regards.
2006-09-20 03:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by mitch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's 21 and has a job, why is she staying with you?? Kick her a$$ out!! If she were living in an apartment somewhere on her own, she would NOT be able to get away with that! Tell her that she either has to pay rent and do her share in the house or get out. I'd be more lenient with the 14 yr old, but give her consequences for not following through with chores.
2006-09-20 00:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by sokkermum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you want to get married to these people? The mother doesn't take care of her daughters!!!!! The brother doesn't take care of his sisters!!!! Are you sure you want to be a part of this family? Ok so you love him. But remember that this is what you are going to deal with for the rest of your life. Are you prepared for that? Or are you going to move far far away from that side of the family. There are no boundaries set in this relationship yet, because you don't know what your role is yet and your fiance doesn't know what his role is. It should be coming from him to say to his sisters, you eat, sleep and put your stuff here, you clean like everyone else does. And if the home or the apartment is in your name then you have all the right to tell him and his sisters to shape up or ship out. Anyone that gets mad needs to get out on their own or go back home to mom and dad and learn to grow up.
2006-09-20 01:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by meeeohmyyyy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently they think that the world owes them something. I can understand the 14 year old acting this way but a 21 year old is supposed to be more mature. Sit down with them and explain that you are not going to "take care" of everything and that they have to help. Give them expliciate chores. If the 21 year old gives you anymore flak tell her to get out!!!!!!
2006-09-20 00:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by roofergirl30 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i do not care if they are your fiance sisters, send them away, they would turn your fiance on you very soon, you guys would start arguing about little reasonable things like you asking them to get off their butts and clean up the house.
one thing my dad does is that he never lets his sisters stay more than a week in his house, he would rather pay for a hotel room for them to stay just to avoid confromtations like this.
so the quicker you send them packing the better for you. bcoz this would go on over and over until you and your fiance ask them to leave, and your fiance wouldn't have the heart to do it bcoz they are her sisters and she wouldn't want to cause a family arguement.
find a way to make them leave the house if they still continue with this behavior, and i tell my sisters the same thing, when i am married you can only stay with me for a week, and thats it.
2006-09-20 00:38:11 · answer #6 · answered by lilykiss8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's being a big baby and she will keep doing it til there are consequences. Who's buying the food they use to dirty the dishes and who's paying for the phone she uses to call her boyfriend? My guess is that it's you and you need to stop. Make some consequences, honey, cut off the t.v., don't let them use the phone, physically stand over them while they do the dishes, don't buy them food, don't even acknowledge them until they do their chores. Treat them like kids, since they are behaving that way.
2006-09-20 00:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by sodamncute 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress maybe but you guys ( fiance and you) need to tell them straight up because you are going to have children one day and while they grow up they become lazy because of stress and problems of their own... Like my mom and dad are really getting pissed at my sister (15) because shed rather spend most of her time with her bf and it pisses me off because I have to do all the work (im 13) xDD
2006-09-20 01:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by aznflipgurl808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try asking your fiance to "kindly" ask his sisters' to pick up after themselves and that they are old enough and your not their maid. If you tell them themselves they will react as they did as they feel you have no authority over them because you are of not blood relation to them and what right have you over them.
2006-09-20 01:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by Raven Hood® 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK call a meeting for ALL of you. then write out a rota of what HAS to be done. if they disagree then give them one month to find a flat for them on there own. where they can live in a pig sty. BUT you DONT have to put up with them. its not fair on you. they are taking advantage. tell your b/f he HAS to stand by you on this. or he can move in with them. if he loves you he will stop them walking all over you. good luck. oh & by the way their mother should pay for there keep not you & your b/f. she must be living it up on her own.
2006-09-20 00:53:02 · answer #10 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋