My first love is getting out of prison, I still love him but should i give him a second chance?

Question

My first love who I still love very much is getting out of prison in a few weeks. He has been in there for 5 years over burgulary. I have been writing him and getting close to him again for awhile now. He says he has changed and still loves me and wants to get back together when he gets out. He was very young, 18 years old when he got into trouble and made mistakes but I do still love him and would love to be back with him but with his history, i dont know if that would be a good idea or not. People change and i know everyone deserves a second chance but i am really confused and would like some advice on what I should do. My family hates him because of things he has done and that also bothers me because i care alot on what my family thinks. Please help, if you were me, what would you do? Should i give him a second chance and start over? Thank you for your help

Answer 1

Well on one hand the saying is "leopards don't change their spots" but then "you gotta give 'em a chance to change"! Then the stats say that like 8 or 9 out of 10 people return to prison cuz they can't handle the outside life. Inside they get three hots and a cot, told when to wake up, when to go to sleep, when to eat, when to play. Don't really have to "pay" for life. There is no call off cuz they're sick. They get out and try but fail and do schit just to get back to it. They say they will change but no one gives em a chance and they break. Even if you do there are many "standing in line" to NOT give 'em a chance. Waiting for them to fail just to say I knew it wouldn't last. Its a hard life style to break. Not to say he can't cuz if he wants to, he will be the 1 or 2 that stay out. But it won't be for you that he stays out, it will be for him! If he says its for you, he'll go back! He has to want to stay out for him only! They also say a burglar goes in a thief and comes out with other crime skills like killing! I would say not to jump into anything to quickly! Give it major time! Its your heart on the line! As far as family goes? They are looking out for you and will never like anyone you choose! So be thankful they love you but know they will never love anyone you like! Bring home a dork who is lame, they'll love him to death and you'll wanna kill him!

Answer 2

Everyone deserves a second chance. If it's been 5 years and the both of you still have feelings for each other, then there's a sign right there. Don't jump back into a relationship right away b/c hes hurt you and done you wrong before. If you go into this go with caution. Let him move back into society slowly, let him get used to the "real" life before he get's used to having a girlfriend again.

Answer 3

THIS is a hard question on one hand yes some people do change BUT he will be a ex con. & your family wont approve. BUT if you wernt really sure WHY have you wrote to him for 5 years, that was stupid. ok you may still love him BUT you should start again at the beginning as new. & see for yourself what he is like. prison changes people but sometimes NOT for the better. be wise. take it very slow.

Answer 4

Sis, my advice to you. Give him a second chance.Everybody does mistakes in their lives.If you shunned him like everybody does, there is a possibility of him getting back to his old ways.What matters here most is Humanity & Forgiving, since you have them both, i strongly feel you should give him an opportunity to turn over a new leaf. Yes, your family hates him because they love you.This will take some time to prove his change towards your family.Explain to your parents about your feelings for him & assure them that you will never get laid with him till they are convinced of his change.Try to make an appointment with your parents to see him after he is released from prison.Get him to do the talking,get him sincerely to convince your parents he is remorseful for what he has done and he will never repeat the same mistake again.You must understand one thing, he is getting out from there after 5 years, it's either he learned the misery he has gone through or to continue with it.Never throw him out, or push his feelings and importatntly never end in bed with him with his excuses.You can trust him but first & foremost he must trust himself.Talk to him,get him to see your family.Tell him it's important,if he wants to change to better.

Apache Indian

Answer 5

Well I believe that nobodies perfect everybody makes mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance. But make sure to enforce a zero-tolerance policy meaning that this is his last chance and if he EVER screws up again it's OVER.

Answer 6

If you think prison is a place for rehabilitation, then get back together.

I, however, see it as a place where he likely was one of the least hardened criminals in there and probably learned to survive by being more hardened than when he went in. He's probably changed, but not for the better.

Answer 7

to tell you the truth, he had to have a rap sheet as long as a buick to go to prison that long for burglary, i am a convicted felon for stupid crap i did when i was 17 years old, prison time tends to get a mans attention and make him go straight, so i say hell yes give him another chance, his frame of mind has changed 180 degrees and im betting that he is gonna be straight as an arrow from now on.

Answer 8

It all depends on how YOU feel about him and the whole situation. Because regardless of what I think you should do, and regardless of the advice that you recieve here on this issue. When it's all said and done your going to make your own decision and do what YOU want to do. And that's what's really important, and it's the only way you will have peace and contentment.

Answer 9

2nd cousin marriages interior the U. S. are no longer unlawful and to this point as i understand they arent unlawful in Englad the two. The royals marry cousins continuously. Tho i think of 2nd cousins are somewhat close for convenience, enormously right here interior the U. S.. someplace else that's no longer that exceptional. archives tutor that cousins do no longer reproduce mutants btw. yet: i think of perhaps you think of you adore him, because of the fact you have been so close with him. attempt to circulate on. that's a sticky subject at ultimate, and it will end with an incredible type of issues. protecting it that close interior the relatives begs for issues.

Answer 10

your awful young to take a chance at screwing up the best years of your life if he hasnt changed as much as he says. all guys behind bars feel changed cause they got years of regret time in there but it usuallly doesnt last once they get out.