I've had a guy try to rape me about five years ago. I'm finally getting over it and moving on. WhenI meet a guy, would it be better to hide it until later (as in a year or two) or tell him within the first month or two? please. I need help.
2006-09-19 16:49:35 · 20 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a very personal thing honey. I'm not sure I'd lay it out on the line on a first date...not even a second. This information should only be shared when you are comfortable enough with a person to share it with.
2006-09-19 16:51:54 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell the guy you meet after you two have been together for awhile. The guy has the right to know about the whole of you, but first he should get to know your personality and characteristics, and just how you are generally. And besides, a guy shouldn't dump you because you almost got raped by some weirdo (that wasn't even your fault!). And if that certain guy does, he's not worth you, and you should move on to someone who will understand you 100%.
2006-09-19 23:53:00 · answer #2 · answered by forest_without_sounds 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't sound like you're over it to me. Sounds like you want to use it as some magical sphere to guarantee no one else will ever try to hurt you in any way, intentionally or unintentionally, because you were almost raped. It'd be nice if it worked that way, but instead of stimulating the compassion gene in men it may give them permission to see you as damaged goods and justify their misbehavior with, "oh well, she was messed up in the head anyway."
Seek counseling for this problem. You were traumatized and you have not healed from it yet or you wouldn't consider it something you need to divulge to other men. Call a rape crisis center. Delay dating until you are healthier.
2006-09-20 00:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just tell him. u don't want to start of with a lie. they all ways catch up with u. sooner or later. just be honest. with that person. i was gang rape. when i was younger. and my step father also. i was a afraid when i was around a guys. he would ask me are u OK, i would say no. just nerves. he ask why. then i told him. i am OK know. around any guys know. it is also good to talk about. it good that u are moving on. don't let u get u down. that's the worst thing u can do. good luck.
2006-09-19 23:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think u shoukld give the relationship some time until you tell him. Know for sure if the guy is really interested in you and maybe after a year or so you could tell him, once you are quite sure that he's the right guy.
2006-09-19 23:53:08 · answer #5 · answered by F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you; it has to feel right. But I would say that when you start getting serious and a guy may sense you're apprehension, you can talk about it with him and, if he's a good guy, he will understand and help you move further.
2006-09-19 23:55:00 · answer #6 · answered by Craiggles 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I find it funny how i go and answer relationship problems but im the one who needs them, lol. ;) but i personally think that it would be better to tell sooner rather than later, even tho it will prolly hurt. love ya baby!
2006-09-20 00:49:30 · answer #7 · answered by me.. :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a question you should direct to your therapist. All jokes aside, if this is something you're still dealing with then there's no legitimate answer anyone here on Yahoo! could give you.
2006-09-19 23:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by Pak M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though it is a part of your past, I'd wait to share something like that. It could be brought up when you think you are getting very serious about a guy.
2006-09-19 23:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by treasureisland85 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't bring it up until the idea of sex comes up between the two of you. Let him know what happened and that your just now getting over it and you want to be ready for it. Don't just bring it up in general conversation though, since you just met him who knows how he would take it.
2006-09-19 23:53:19 · answer #10 · answered by Some Girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋