Ok, my divorced sister met up with her old boyfriend. he is getting a divorce, lives in another state and has talked my sister into going with him on the road driving a tractor trailer. Told her he will pay off her house, give her kids 50.00 a week, and give her 500.00 a week, in return for a place to stay when he is home from off the road. She will be starting with him on the road in January, home for maybe 4 days, on the road maybe 14 days. The real kicker is: She has 3 kids. 15, 16 and 18. What do you think of all this? Is she wrong to leave her kids? I feel that she is. Oh, he did tell her if she wanted to she could stay home and he will send her money every week. Just want to know others thoughts on this.
2006-09-19 16:47:27 · 20 answers · asked by zoe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow...........There's got to be a catch. Why is he paying off the kids? Are they doing some work to earn this money? Does he need a place to stay that bad to have to pay the whole family off.
It sounds to good to be true, at the same time as sounding really friggin' stupid. How long has she been divorced? How does she know this guy isn't some freak now.....
I'd say, let the kids be a part of the decision. They usually see things more clearly than Mom's do. Especially if she thinks she's in love with the guy.
I'd be careful on this one. He sounds just a little bit "too" desperate...
2006-09-19 16:54:59 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetea 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it were me I would stay home with my babies, yeah maybe they are 15 and 16, but they are going to be grown and gone in no time. Then will be the time to trek out on a new journey. I couldn't do it. I had my kids so I could raise them and be there for every little thing and hear every little story and answer every little question. The 18 year old shouldn't have to have the responsibility of raising the other two for the next three years.
2006-09-19 23:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's wrong to even consider leaving those kids alone at that age. Her house is going to be deemed "party central". If he gave her the option of staying home, why isn't she taking him up on that? That's every parent's dream....$500 a week for just maintaining a place for this man to sleep when he comes home? It's a no-brainer...take the cash, stay home with the kids and have dinner on the table when he gets there. If she chooses to go, I hope she's prepared to get a few phone calls from Social Services, the school, other kids' parents, etc.
You are right in your thinking. Do whatever it takes to convince her she's making a mistake if she goes.
2006-09-19 23:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is not wise to leave 3 teenagers home alone. I would date him for a while and see how things go before I even considered leaving my kids in such a vulnerable spot. Teenagers need supervision. Maybe she can occasionally go on the road with him, but not on a regular basis where her kids know the routine and what they can pull off. Her kids are almost grown, so she does not have that much longer to actually be there for them in this capacity. I wouldn't say she's wrong, but once again, it is not a wise choice.
2006-09-19 23:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by missyme 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A good mom puts her children first. Even a 15, 16 and 18 year old need guidance, even if they think they don't.
It would be an unstable situation for the children to have this old boy friend move in when he is not on the road. I would say no. The children need to feel safe and secure in their home. Please convince her to put the children first. To the children it would feel like she gave their home away. I am sure they would feel lost. It would be a very uncomfortable roller coaster for them emotionally.
2006-09-20 00:17:10 · answer #5 · answered by JAN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have notice women have like a mid life crisis when the go out and party or run away from responsibilities, but it passes and there lives turn out fine it may last 6 monthes to a year.I watched my mom and all my friends moms go through it when i was about her kids age, so it is normal at her age but once it is over they are never crazy like that again,Women give up there lifes to be moms,They don't get to be selfish ever, They must give all the time to there children and happily moms do. It is just her kids don't depend on her anymore they way younger ones do and she finaly got her life back.And she can for once think about herself only,the way she hasn't since her first born,
2006-09-20 00:04:57 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what her particular state would say about leaving the 15 and 16 year old home alone for 14 days. The 18 year old is an adult and can fend for him/her self. I don't see where she is "leaving" her kids. Of course the other option is fine as well.
2006-09-19 23:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, u havn't mentioned since how long she's been divorced. If its recent, maybe she is doing it on a rebound.....? Guess she wants to get away from everything reminding her of her ex.
If you feel strongly about her going on the trip then you want to talk to her ? Understand why she's doing it and if your feel her reasons aren't good enough or she's going on an impulse, maybe you should talk to her and let her know you care.
I don't rhink anyone should judge her. Whether she's right or wrong is a strong thing to say without knowing what she is going thru. Talk to her - she'll appreciate it.
2006-09-19 23:56:02 · answer #8 · answered by clear-n-content 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well maybe bc she still has the young ones but if it was just the 18 year old then i would of told her go for it. But the 15 and 16 year olds still need her they still need her to teach them things and to be there. If she is going to get paid any way for staying home why can she not stay home.
well i hope this answer your question.
2006-09-19 23:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well yes esp to leave the kids dumb real dumb . does she like this guy? how desperate is she for money? i would be worried he would be active if you know what i mean on the road. i juist don't think she is doin the right thing with frest divorces and setting examples for kids ect. unless she has no money and loves him . i just think its a bad idea all the way around
2006-09-20 01:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by terri e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋