I am married to a deployed Soldier in Iraq. I found out he has been emailing,and asking girls for nasty pictures and talking dirty to them online. In the meantime this same "guy" freaks out if I go anywhere,even to the store! I do not talk to any guys,or even care to. I mail him care packages,food,whatever he needs,handle all our finances and home,plus 3 little girls. I send him anything he needs as far as pictures or magazines,,,but it seems he is always out to meet people,and only nasty hoes or "hotties" looking for a desert Pen Pal.{I was sent an email he specifically said that in to another friend of his}. Why should I be home waiting on him,being loyal,trusting and up all night waiting on his *** to get online when he has 15 other girls I just found out sending him nasty things through snail mail to Iraq? Do all Military Guys think they are entitled to this?? I was warned I have to admit..not to date Military,but is this how they all are?? We ARE MARRIED..But im Filing DIVORCE.
2006-09-19 16:44:36 · 12 answers · asked by Holly 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
One girl he said he LOVED and had planned on meeting her in Europe! He obviously had been talking to her a long time without me knowingl Now this is online only as far as I know,but do you think this leads to cheating in person? And when he gets home? I don't think I could ever trust him again....You think this is right?
2006-09-19 16:46:48 · update #1
I am sorry, but you need to hire a divorce attorney to discuss options. I live near Camp Pendleton in CA and have friends who live on base. I hear so many stories of marriages breaking up because either the wife cheats or the husband does. I don't know if it is that different in civilian life, but the situation you are in requires maturity and commitment on both ends.
I wish I could tell you that you will resolve this and that he will change, but your husband's mind is elsewhere. You need to do whatever you can to protect your sanity and your three children. That may mean ending your marriage. You have lost trust and once that happens there is no going back.
2006-09-19 17:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a psychologist, so I won't try to analyze why he's doing what he's doing and treating you the way he is. I can say that I am military and I NEVER cheated, thought about cheating, or carried on correspondence women other than my fiance ever. When I came home after deployment, we were no longer engaged and she had a new boyfriend. All military men are NOT the same. Also, not all military spouses are the same. I know plenty of people who have returned to a loving spouse that was faithful as can be. Cheating happens on both sides of the fence in both military and civilian environments. Lastly, in case you are unaware, there are military programs that can help you through this regardless of whether you opt for a divorce or not. You may want to start with contacting the Chaplain and/or Base Legal Department. They can point you in the right direction. I can empathize with you on how difficult this can be, so good luck to you in whatever way you deal with this.
2006-09-20 04:25:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear out your pain. But not all military men are like that. With the increase in deployments that has been sharp rise in divorces in the military. The divorce rate has risen in the officer ranks more than the enlisted. BUT you can't blame in on just the men. There are a lot of women over here, Afghanistan, and at home doing the same thing. I know its not an excuse but imigine if half the walmart employees were shipped 6-9 time zones away for a year. Their online affairs and divorce rates would probably also rise. I'm not sure why they/we don't do what I do and carry on an online love affair with the hottest hotter there is: my wife.
2006-09-20 00:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by lostokieboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, on your specific situation. Divorce the bastard.
Now to your lumping all military together in one basket...
Way outta line there.
Not all military men (and women) are like that. in fact MOST are not. Though many are.
You rant on the Military but its a fact that many people do cheat, whether they are military or Civilian.
Statistically the Military does have a higher divorce rate than civilians but that is not just because military men all cheat. It has to do with long absences on operational deployments and being stuck a long way from home. This is extremely hard on relationships.
In fact most of the actually cheating is done by the partner left behind at home. NOT by the Military serviceman.
They even had a name for those who did this when I was in the Navy. They were refered to as "WESTPAC Widows"
When the Navy Husband deploys for 6 months away from home the Wife would go down to the hot nightclubs and start picking up men and cheating while their Hubbies are away.
Certain clubs where notorious for being a "WESTPAC Widow Hangout" (Anchors and Spurs Enlisted club at 32nd Naval Station, San Diego)
How often do you hear about the "Dear John" letters recieved from home to our Military men overseas.
I understand you are hurt and angry and just want to lash out at him for what he has done to your family but DO NOT take it out on all military. thats wrong.
and to Edward T: You need to just shut up you disgusting little coward.
2006-09-20 01:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by CG-23 Sailor 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing I have come to realize by dating a military man, who is currently serving in Iraq (we broke up), is that some of them are just, let's say "not right in the head." So if something wasn't already disturbed or disturbing about them, chances are something will be wrong with them when they return from a deployment. Having been in a similar situation, my advice would definitely be to move on with your life. Don't think that he is the only one out there for you. Best of luck.
2006-09-20 19:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by morecowbellbaby! 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a person has a problem with porn it usually always gets even more profound in ones life. Think of your girls and save more heartache by getting out now.
2006-09-19 23:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by Jamal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm right there with you on the military bashing. I DON'T think stereotype is a dirty word, and I'm all for using it when it comes to military enlisted.
Many of them are dogs when they go in and the rest are dogs by the time they come out. Enlisted men just have a drive to get all the T&A they can, and I'm convinced their culture feeds this. They have an absurd divorce rate (sorry, no source), just running from one marriage to the next usually via an affair.
(My brother and sister were both enlisted, not me.)
2006-09-19 23:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by Edward T 2 · 2⤊ 4⤋
oh girl - I'm sorry. Ditch him.
They aren't all like that.
He's gonna end up bringing home something more than what was on his packing list.
2006-09-20 16:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the two of you aren't meant to continue your relationship. Some couples can handle the seperation some can't I'm sorry yours is one that can't
2006-09-19 23:51:26 · answer #9 · answered by medic 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe hes doing it just to pass time. gives him something to do. he may not be serious about any of it. if he is i think he is a fool. if he is serious i know you can do better.
2006-09-20 04:01:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋