According to EmilyPost.com it is. However, my mother would go through my things sometimes, and I did not mind. She would usually go through my stuff while cleaning, or looking for things to mend. Her logic was, "those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing." This was normal for me, and I never hid anything. When in highschool I had many friends whose parents respected their privacy, and yes they hid drugs, condoms, adult entertainment, etc. I know not everyone is like that, but what do you think?
2006-09-19 16:43:59 · 24 answers · asked by pinacoladasundae 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Once I did hide some Phil Collins lyrics because I was embarresed that I liked his music, that was back in highschool. My mom found them and we had a good laugh.
2006-09-19 16:46:04 · update #1
It's not rude (and I ususally agree with Emily Post) but it is invasive.
Kids should be allowed their privacy, but for their safety, parents do have the right to search. It's just to protect their children or get them help if they need it.
It's hard to understand if you don't have kids.
2006-09-20 04:51:46 · answer #1 · answered by exclusiveindigo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel that this is an etiquette issue. It's a parenting issue and a good parents do stay on top of what their child is into. There is never any reason for a child to possess anything that they don't want to be found. A child is not an adult. Some parents seem to give their child too much "freedom" and think that he is well-behaved and well-adjusted without really paying enough attention to recognize potential problems. The high rate of suicide among teens should be enough to make them realize that. Online journals, such as Xanga, which are popular with teens can be shocking. If only parents would read their kid's entries on these public forums they would learn so much that they don't know. Talk of sexual activities, drug use, and depression are common even among the very youngest.
2006-09-20 01:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by mannersplease 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. I think everyone likes a bit of privacy. They may not be hiding anything, but still prefer to keep some things to themselves. Diaries for example can be very personal even if they don't reveal something shocking or bad.
I think that when there is no reason to suspect anything bad is going on, parents should give their kids some privacy and not go through their personal stuff. However, if the parents suspect their kids are doing drugs or that something else bad is going on, I think it's ok for them to go through their things, it's understandable. It's their duty to protect their children and help them if they have problems.
When I lived with my parents, I was fine with them seeing things that were left "visible" in my room. I wouldn't have been pleased had they gone through other stuff, things I had in my drawers or elsewhere not visible or read stuff I wrote. I wasn't doing anything wrong, I just wanted some privacy.
Kids write very personal stuff in their diaries, stuff they don't usually let out or express elsewhere than in their diaries. If they know they can expect their parents to read through it all, they'll stop writing what's really on their mind and not let it out at all, which I think is a bad thing. They should be allowed some personal space, some privacy, at least a diary or something that is off limits to their parents.
2006-09-20 05:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a father of two, I can tell you there is no equality among parents and children. If I want to go through my children's belongings, I will. After all, anything they will get mad about, they will get over it. If they have something they shouldn't, the we can deal with it in the right way by talking it through. It's called being a parent. The parents have to be the ones to get involved and ask questions, enforce rules, etc. It's what parenting is all about. Chances are, when the children grow up, they will look back on that and think "my mom and dad really did care about me. They were good parents."
2006-09-20 00:08:35 · answer #4 · answered by seanphamilton 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If we know we are being watched by people who can control us, we will limit ourselves to doing what the other people won't be opposed to. Privacy is therefore an important component of freedom; if our privacy is lost, some of our freedom is too. If your mother didn't care what you did or couldn't do anything about it, then there would be no problem with her looking through your stuff since she couldn't control you. If you wanted to do the same things that she did, you wouldn't even notice you lost your freedom. However, if you are different from your mother, you don't want her to invade your privacy, because she's going to stop you from doing what you want, which means you'll be doing stuff you don't want to do, which means you'll be unhappy, or at least less happy. Nobody likes being told what to do, so why should parents have a right to tell their children what to do, or even imply any such thing by going through their stuff?
2006-09-20 00:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by Fenris 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is if the child minds. Even if he or she isn't hiding anything embarrassing. That is not the point. The point is that a teen has a right to privacy. When I was a teen, my parents respected my privacy, and I never hid anything I wished they didn't find.
2006-09-20 00:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom never went through my things and I hid alcohol, drugs, etc lol - but I appreciated the fact that she trusted and respected me enough not to rummage through my room. But, then again my mom was the "cool" type of parent that was more like a friend than a parent.
I don't think that parents should make it a habit to rummage through their kid's rooms, but on the same hand if parents give kids too much privacy they will take advantage of it.
2006-09-19 23:47:07 · answer #7 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say ordinarily not but it's probably more comforting for them to know that it might be done. How many people seem to come across on this one is that there is no reason for anyone else to go through their things, but there is no reason for them not to go through anyone else's things. Within a family, it's scary if seclusion is an issue. Maybe the kids are learning it in school and infecting the household. :(
2006-09-20 00:11:18 · answer #8 · answered by Robert B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always heard the line"its my house, you just happen to be living in one of the rooms" speech when I was growing up. So that's my theory, but I wouldn't go through anybodys stuff unless the room was really gross and needed to be cleaned. But there would be no lock on the door either. That would mean that they really had something to hide.
2006-09-20 00:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by tootsie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother used to go through my things. She even read my diary. I've always had serious problems with that. She never found my weed though. I knew she was going through my things and I made sure she wouldn't find it. I think it's awfully rude to go through someones stuff. If your parents want to know what you're up to, they should create a relationship with you in which you feel safe and free to talk about the things you're up to. I just felt violated by her going through my stuff and it kept me from telling her what was really on my mind. I just closed up.
2006-09-20 03:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋