I came out to my mom and stepdad 4 years ago. Sometimes they're ok with it, but most of the time they're not. My girlfriend's mom doesn't let us see eachother. She doesn't know anything about me and I want her to get to know me and see that I'm no different than anyone else. How can I talk to both her parents and mine without getting them upset or telling them things that will only confuse them more? It's been FOUR years, do I stand up for myself and make sure they know I'm not going through a phase, or do I sit back and let them think what they want about us? Please help, I dont know what else to do.
2006-09-19 16:38:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi Jessica,
OK, here's the deal sexuality is a personal choice
With that said, everyone is not comfortable with discussing it, let alone seeing. Obviously your parents are Not comfortable with your openness, that not to say they don't love you unconditionally.
I'm not going to tell you that it gets any easier when you get past disclosure because it doesn't.
Telling your girlfriends' mom may not make her anymore open or exceptant to the fact that her daughter is with another woman.
I'm guessing your both minors and in that case, I would keep it low keyed. When you live at home you have to play by the rules....
If your adults then you have the choice to live your life as open and as free as you'd like. By free I mean in choosing for it to be known, everybody may not be happy with your liberation but hey, that's reality...
When you decide to "talk" to them(the other parents) hopefully your girlfriend is present, you can both share insight on your feelings...
Just remember "No pressure"
Meaning let it settle before hitting them with the "Hey I'm gay and I need for you all to be ok with it"
People are going to think what they want, I would let them. If your alright with yourself, I would really careless with what "people" think
As far as "out of the closet" goes
Like I said sexuality is a personal choice, You choose whether you want to let people in on it or not. And in turn they choose whether or not to let you in...
Good luck
2006-09-19 18:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by lashawn0676 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to be as kind as you can I guess. Show them that above everything else, you are a good person and that's all that matters. Unfortunately your situation is not one that many people can understand or accept. You can tell them anything you want but they will probably think whatever they want regardless. Show them love and patience, maybe in the long run it will make a break through. Things might never change, or perhaps a brief period of enlightenment will help them accept you. I'm sorry that we live in a world that can cause you this kind of pain. Whatever happens you and your girlfriend should start your lives together when you are ready.
2006-09-19 16:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lay low for a while and let your mom and stepdad catch their breath. Don't ram the "lesbo" thing down their throats and they will eventually come around. The girlfriends mother; when you are around her, be extra respectful and kind. It may take alot of time for her to get the point. I would just go about my life other than that. Just make sure you grab every opportunity to prove your a worthy person. I know it's hard; but, if you really want these people to undnerstand, you're going to have to work for it. Otherwise, for everyone else, do whatever you want. Godloveya both!
2006-09-19 17:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you look like your avatar maybe they are thinking that it is a phase like your pink hair. Not saying to change it, just think about it. It is like a statement of power. Maybe just talk about your day and treat them like you want to be treated and see if they think a little different as you grow older. They will see that you have not changed and are not going to. Parents sometimes think that kids are looking for attention and that is why you "came out". ( and your hair color is different). They might not be homophobic just not sure they can deal with a daughter that they thought they would have to fight the boys off of? That's the best I can think of at this time. Best to you and try and be patient and you will be on your own soon and can make your own life with out others judgments.
2006-09-19 16:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by peacocktrail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just continue to behave in the most respectable way and they will eventually become comfortable with your situation. It's not something many parents can easilly accept so you have to give them time. Four yours may be along time for you but maybe not for your parents who may be hoping things will change.
Perhaps your parents are also trying to figure out "where they wnet wrong in bringing you up" so it's really a process that will take time. Be thankful that there are times when they are ok with it. And try to keep your cool during the times when they are not.
2006-09-19 16:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by Erize Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you go girl! :x
2006-09-19 16:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont be a lez
2006-09-19 16:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Mediwizard 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋