He is not a trouble maker or anything he just has this terrible temper to those closest to him. He will go from being the happiest kid to hitting the car, the wall, or me or my sister as hard as he possibly can. I've caught him cursing at his GF too. The look in his eyes when he does this stuff is scary, he turns into someone else! He feels horrible afterwards but isnt that what most abusers do...hit their loved one and then feel bad so they try as hard as they can to make it up to them. This is very scary for me and i am afraid that it will only get worst as he gets older. Are these signs of what is yet to come when he gets older?
2006-09-19 15:37:52 · 17 answers · asked by pingme03 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
SORRY...my 14 y/o brother
2006-09-19 15:39:47 · update #1
No, it is not normal. Has he seen a psychiatrist? He may have a mental condition like bipolar. He definitely needs to seek counseling to help control his anger....it will only get worse.
2006-09-23 08:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 13 and I have quite a temper too. My deal is my home life. I fell like people don't appreciate what I do. I do a lot. I cook. But I still have tons of homework.I get great grades in school in advanced classes. I don't get rewarded though.There's also this whole thing with my moms Boyfriend who I can not stand.I'm under a lot of stress. So one day I'm happy. The next I'm crying or really mad. When I wanted help or to have leisure time I get more work. I work really hard and I get fed up .I can't believe I 'm on the computer right now. My brother is the total opposite of me. He gets all the things I want. Just ask what's wrong.
2006-09-19 16:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by CourtneyGM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not cool for a 14 year old. He is way too young to be having tempers that scare you. I understand if he gets angry...everyone does. But haveing a temper like that can lead to so many things in the end. Being that young and already cursing people out is way inappropriate. Yea, when he realizes what he did after and feels bad, it shows that he isn't thinking or doesn't care when he is angry. I hope you find help for your brother becaue I feel bad for whomever crosses him wrongly.
2006-09-19 15:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by Reflection 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that most 14 yr olds goes through there anger and temper problems but when he is violent towards his mom and sisters there seem to be something going on with him I don't know if he will talk to you openly or not it sounds like he won't but usually something has happened in his life for his or is currently happening I don't know I'm just speaking from my life experiences but I think you should try to talk to him or even whoever he is close to and will open up to and just let him know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk. You could even tell hi that it's not good to keep things inside because it will tear you apart if you can't get through to him maybe you should seek counseling family and or individual therapy.
2006-09-19 15:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've raised 5 kids. 3 fosters and 2 of my own.
I have really bad news...but it's not all bad, okay?
If your son does not learn to control himself ASAP, he will form a lifelong condition. Right now, his synapses are forming and he is learning to control everyone by using force and anger.
These signs you wrote in about are very, very bad signs and he will become an abuser of you, his wife, his children or anyone in his way if you do not get some help for him asap.
I know you love him and to you he is a good kid. I'm not saying he's not. But, the symptoms are already manifesting, and they are serious.
He needs to seek counseling. You, being a good parent, need to get him to someone immediately. He needs to learn other techniques to control his anger.
My guess is he uses it to get his way. When angry, everyone would rather give in than fight him.
No matter what...he's got to see someone, for your sake, your future grand children's sakes and for the sake of everyone around him.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 15:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be going through those teenage hormone changes. He may also be experiencing something stressful in his personal life that he does not feel comfortable talking with you about. I would make an appointment with a counselor. He may need to talk or some techniques to help him deal with his anger. Get him help now before it is too late.
2006-09-19 16:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by missyme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak with your family about it now. I went there, done that, got no help, went down hill in a major way and the only reason i changed was because i became a mother. It will only get worse if he's not understood.
2006-09-19 16:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were to be in your position, I would certainly feel worried about the future of my kid. At his tender and impressionable age, it is certainly cause for worry that he is already displaying signs of not being able to exercise restraint on his emotions. The exact problem is not that he has such strong fury emanating from him or that he is already acting in a very destructive manner as a result of his anger. Everybody feels very mad at something or someone at some point in time, regardless of reason, age or situation. The seriousness and root of the problem comes down to having control, not elimination, of our emotions.
One would feel some degree of regret for some of the things that we do in the tight hold of our anger. We then try to make it up or cover it up by being overly nice to mend the damage done. The danger comes when we think that this is then a reasonable solution to our emotional outbursts. In fact, this is just a pitfall. If we employ this strategy, over time we would be so used to the anger that we would gradually neglect the making up stage. Anger, as anyone well knows, is explosive and energetic. It bestows on anyone who lets it run wild, a surge of seemingly invincible power allowing one to, mistakenly think that one can do anything or have anything one wants, ignoring the negative effects and diminishes one's consideration of other affected people.
Having said that, rather than telling him to stop feeling so angry and to stop his violent conduct, find a suitable calm time and situation to explain the effects of his erractic behaviour - how it is scaring his loved ones, isolating him from the love and concern of his closed ones and to have more restraint over his emotions. Being reminded of the possible destructive actions if he acts on his anger can actually keep a tight rein on it. That's not all.
Better to have positive feelings of respect, care and concern towards others at all times so that it becomes second nature to have these feelings consciously or subconsciously inside oneself. Its just like breathing. One breathes so naturally the moment one enters into this world that most of the time, we dont even notice we are breathing until we stop ourselves and focus our attention to our breathing process. Positive feelings are just the same. We can nurture them till they become second nature to us so much so that it becomes a part of us.
We can never totally win the battle over our negative emotions. What we can do is to acknowledge that the problem is real and if we dont do anything about it, it will fester and worsen. Face them straight on, subdue them with whatever weapon you can find and you will find some measure of success.
2006-09-19 16:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by niveky2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definately say that you should seek help for him. It is never appropriate for someone to hit their family members or to verbally abuse them or thier loved ones. Maybe he just has some issues that he needs to work out or maybe he has a really serious problem. Either way, you owe it to yourself to know. I mean, every teenager goes through phases where they are moody and tempermental, but hitting and verbal abuse should never be tolerated.
2006-09-19 15:42:02 · answer #9 · answered by im_just_me_612 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to freak you out or anything. But, that is how I behaved when I was 14 & when I was 15 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
It sounds like he could be Bipolar, especially when you said he can go from being happy to being mad.
I suggest you take him to a psychologist & soon.
Good luck :-D
2006-09-19 15:40:47 · answer #10 · answered by meganxrenee07 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋