A man walks up to his house and notices his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
“Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaims. The old man looks off in the distance without answering. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asks again.
The old man slowly looks at him and says, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea.”
Three generations of hookers are sitting around talking when the daughter says, “you know I got really pissed off today when a guy only gave me $50 for giving him a *******.”
The mother seys “$50? Back in the 1950’s we were happy to get $20”
And the grandmother says “Twenty dollars? Ha! back in the 1930’s we where just happy to have something warm in our stomachs.”.
Q:whats the best thing about Alzheimers??
A: you get to hide your own easter eggs...
2006-09-19 15:35:51 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ok
A bloke walks into a pub and orders 6 double vodkas, the barman says "bad day ?"
The bloke replies "yes, I just found out my brother's gay !"
"oh you'll get used to it" replies the barman. The following day the man re-enters and again orders 6 double vodkas.
"not another bad day ?" asks the barman.
"yes" replies the man, "I just found out my other brothers gay too."
"Have an extra one, on the house" offers the barman.
Two days later the man returned to the pub, looking more depressed than usual, he sits down and orders 6 double vodkas.
The barman asks "for **** sake, does no one in you family like women ?"
"yes" replies the man "my wife does!"
The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life
1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep
quiet and lie still!"
As of next week Viagra will only be avaliable through the chemists by its chemical name.
So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN, Thank you
One day these two guys on a train going to Preswick. One of the guys needs a dump but there are no toilets on the train so his friend says "Hang your **** out the window and do one." So his friend pulls down his pants and sticks his **** out the window and just as they're pulling up to the station two robbers on the platform see him. One says "You slap his cheek and I'll steal his cigar".
Q. If I had one green ball in one hand, and another green ball in another hand, what would I have?
A. The undivided attention of the jolly green giant.
girl kicker
2006-09-20 00:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loved the first 2. Good job
2006-09-19 15:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by Phoenix Rising 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Age is all in the mind i'm still having sex at 71, which is handy for me cause i live at number 67.
2006-09-19 15:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
confident, i like old human beings jokes. the 2nd-final and (in spite of the fact that un-old-human beings-appropriate) final one have been the final. attempt (the only sparkling one i understand): a youthful guy walks into McDonalds, orders his meal and sits down with it. As he starts to eat, he sees that the old couple sitting next to him has in user-friendly terms one meal between them. while he asks approximately it, they simply smile and say that they share each thing. "Are you constructive you have adequate?" he asks. "Oh, that's ok. We share each thing," they repeat. The youthful guy starts on his meal because of the fact the old couple end settling in. As he watches, the old female seems on the old guy and ask, "properly, who eats first." "Why do no longer you, honey? in spite of everything, you have have been given the the teeth."
2016-10-15 04:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old Folk Jokes
2017-02-22 09:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i lkie the first one best it brought a smile
2006-09-19 15:40:56 · answer #6 · answered by katie b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i liked the alsheimers one, cute
2006-09-19 16:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by chrystallec 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those were cute.
2006-09-19 17:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Ruthie1959 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ahahaha
they are all hilarious
ahhaha
2006-09-19 18:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by bratski 28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaha... all 3 are funny...
2006-09-19 15:54:35 · answer #10 · answered by sandals78 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋