How do you know if you love your boyfriend enough to married him?

Question

My boyfriend ask me to married him, and I been waiting for it for so long but now that its really here I'm thoughting it.What should I do?

Answer 1

If you have to ask yourself that question. Then I'd start rethinking the whole marriage thing. Are you marrying him, because you just want to be married OR are you marrying him because you love him and want to be with him. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, but listen to what your head is saying.

Answer 2

If you know and love who you are (if you're old enough & have enough experience behind you) and you know and love who he is and if you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him...

You have to be so sure. It's the rest of your life. Or it's supposed to be. Too many people get married for the wrong reasons. Are you compatible in every way? Is he your best friend? Do you share common interests? Do you also have interests apart from him, things that are just for you?

Would you want to have his children? Would you want to have a child just like him?

Is there a strong physical attraction & a mental connection & an emotional/spiritual bond?

If you answered yes to all these, then you can consider saying yes.

If not, do yourself a favour & don't become another statistic. 60% of marriages end in divorce. Because people don't wait for the right person. Don't settle.

Is he everything you want? Does he meet your needs (& do you meet his?) Remember if you're young, your needs may change. What if you grow in different directions?

Are you both financially secure? Do you have a plan for buying a house, etc? Money isn't everything but it's important. The number one source of arguments actually.

Just be careful! Good luck!

The answer is in your heart. If it's right, you'll know. If it isn't, don't force it.

Answer 3

Here's how you know if you want to say yes or not.

You're mature and have spent hours upon hours determining your life goals. Your boyfriend has done the same, and the two of you understand, respect, and agree on each other's life goals, and have also come up with mutual goals.

You have a good understanding of what it's going to take financially to achieve your individual and mutual goals, and you have discussed how they will be paid for, and by whom (of the two of you).

You have discussed children and parenting styles, parenting responsibilities, and the religion, if any, that they will be taught. You understand how many you want, when you want them, how you will pay for them, and if you will be starting college funds for them.

You and your boyfriend have a good understanding of how you will spend your time...how much time you will spend together, if there will be 'boys night out', etc., and what will change in the relationship once the two of you say 'I DO'. In other words, what exactly are you getting married for, and what does your commitment mean?

If you feel you've got these steps in order, then by all means go with your heart and say yes....provided he's really 'the one'. Is he? There's no hurry...if you're not sure, DON'T DO IT. I can't imagine not knowing whether to say yes or no to 'the right one'. I knew instantly and never had a second's doubt. Good luck.

Answer 4

A few waythoughts:

If the "d" word is anywhere in your mind (such as "well, if it doesn't work, at least it isn't that hard to get a divorce), don't get married.

It isn't about being able to live with the person - it's about whether or not you can live without him or her.

If you are done looking, and not even interested in looking anymore, then that's a sign you're ready.

It isn't just about love - it's about committment.

If you think marriage will change a person (or you can change him / her by getting married), it won't happen.

If you have to ask, seriously ask, then don't go there. Cold feet or the realization that you are making a big step are one thing - real doubts are another.

Answer 5

Think about why are you doubting him.

How do you know if you love him enough? If you have to ask that, you already know the answer. It's not that you fell out of love, but that you realize that you've grown up. You don't want him as a husband; you want him as a friend.

Talk with him about this. Maybe you are realizing that even though you have always wanted to be engaged, it's not as wonderful as you thought.

In the end, you have to decide what is right to do with your life. Talk to your fiance and be honest. This is something that involves both of you. Don't just call it off YET. You need to be honest with him.

Answer 6

Can you imagine your life without him? Can you imagine your life with noone else but him? Do you think past the doubts and imagine a future and get excited about it? Doubts are there for a reason. You just have to figure what it is you're doubting, or is it just being nervous? When I decided to get married, I was SO excited, all I could think of was being Mrs. so & so. I had no reasons not to do it. You'll know. Love is love.

Answer 7

if your so in love and you know you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and if it feels right then do get married. But if you have doubts any no matter how small then don't do or at least not yet.

Answer 8

Don't jump into anything you are not sure of. You don't have to tell him no, just ask him to give you some time. My parents were engaged five years before they actually got married, so there's nothing wrong with waiting. Take your time darling, you'll figure it out.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Did it twice, it's not a bad thing if done with the right person. But if you have to ask don't do it.

Answer 10

You don't hesitate to say yes... and usually you don't have to ask how do you know.