What do you think about this article in Parenting magazine on spanking?

Question

http://www.parenting.com/parenting/article/0,19840,1215279_4,00.html?

I read this article in Parenting magazine today. If you don't want to read this whole article, it is discussing spanking and the debate between "experts" and parents who spank. One point that is made in the article is about what exactly "spanking" is. It points out that according to Websters dictionary, spanking is basically using an open hand to hit on the butt. One thing that is said in this article is that there is no hardcore, scientific proof that an occasional spanking causes any emotional damage to a child later in life. This article is the first one that I have seen that doesn't just flat out tell parents that they shouldn't spank cause they will screw up their kids for life. It actually even says that their is no scientific study that proves that children who were spanked occasionaly turned out more violent later in life. Any opinions on this article?

I just want to say that I am not judging anyone who does or doesn't spank. I feel that it varies from parent to parent and child to child, and as long as it is not beating a child, and is a swat on the rear or on the hand, then every parent has the right to decide what works for them. It does bother me, when I hear a mom (or dad) put down other parents who choose to spank, like one of my answers who said that we who choose to spank are "odd". Why does that one choose in a parents choices on how they raise their kids, make them a bad parent or "odd"? Having a different outlook on parenting from others, does not always mean you are a bad parent. To each his own I say.

Answer 1

About a week ago or so, I answered a very similar question. This is what I replied to that one, verbatim:

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I'm a firm beliver in spanking. Sometimes, your kids just need a swat to the butt. For my kids (they're 10 and 8) it's an embarrassment more than anything. If we're out in public and my kid starts acting like some barn raised heathen after being told to settle down, he's getting a swat to the butt. To quote Bernie Mac "I'll kick a kid's ***." LOL

I was spanked as a child, my parents were spanked as children, my grandparents were spanked as children. My grandfather has told me stories about how when he was a kid his dad would make him cut his own switch from the tree outside. He said that was worse than getting the spanking because he knew that he had to pick a "good one" and that if he didn't, he'd just get another spanking. He was basically dooming himself. lol

Not a one of us is abusive. So I don't think that giving my kid a spanking is going to make him a wife beater. In fact, I think that there'd be less brats in the world if more people would spank their kids. Ever see SuperNanny? Boy I want to whoop those kids. ;D


End quote. Like others have said, I have one kid where even the threat of a spanking will get him to straighten up, and then my youngest could care less. So obviously a spanking at home won't do any good for him. I take away his stuff and privleges then. Different strokes for different folks.

Answer 2

They are absolutely right. I did a long article in my blog on this called "A Critique of the Anti-spanking Research" that goes into some detail on this. If you would like to look at the article it is buried somewhere in the old entries--no longer even highlighted--but can be found by browsing through. If interested and can not find it send me a message and I will try to find a link. The blog link is in my profile here--Yahoo 360 page.

But the highlights are:

All the spanking research that has found it produces violence and/or is ineffeictive is of two types. The first type interviews parents and asks how often and why they were spanked as kids. Then there is an attempt to correlate that with adult behavior and problems. First, there is a problem that no adult has a good enough memory to give an accurate report. And then the correlation is nebulous at best and pure fiction at best.

The second type of research asks mothers how often they spank. They then ask how often their child misbehaves. They consistently find that mothers that spank more have children who misbehave more. Of course this ignores the other very real possibility that these mothers spank more because their children misbehave more.

There are some very good studies that have been done which have attempted to remove some of these variables. These never get much media exposure of course. One (and these are all cited in my article) found that spanking acutally decreased violence.

In fact the very best study was a compilation of all the studies. The ones which were not professionally critiqued were ferretted out. The finding was there is absolutely no evidence that spanking causes violence and there is evidence that it is the best way to get children to comply with their parent's wishes.

The whole spanking issue (from Dr. Spock on--which was not based on any evidence--just neo-Freudian speculation) has been falsely presented to the public by persons who have preconceived notions or an agenda.

The facts really are there is a very good reason parents have spanked for thousands of years. Only in the last fifty has it come under any signifigant attack--and that attack is not based upon science--it is just something some folks thought up.

Answer 3

If you are older than 20 odds are you were spanked as a kid. Not all of us turned out to be violent. I don't think an occasional swat on the butt will screw a kid up. I have 3 boys, 2 of whom are wonderful intelligent productive men now and one who will be all too soon. I never laid a hand on any of them. I don't think its so much about method. I couldn't spank mine for a couple of reasons. A. The thought nauseates me and it's hard to make the point if you're puking and crying yourself. B. I had to raise them alone for the majority of their childhoods-I had to have the upper hand well before they grew to be bigger than I am. Don't get me wrong, I was "commando mom" when they were very young, I could just never bring myself to hit them. In fact they were recently laughing about how it just never occurred to them to be disrespectful to me or to do anything that would upset me. I did not use the guilt method either by the way. The whole spare the rod thing doesn't mean that you must hit your child. There are other ways to teach your child right from wrong.
I don't think spanking is a good method to use but if it's done occasionally as a really really serious consequence, it isn't going to turn a kid into a mass murderer.

Answer 4

Someone in the answers above said i knew people who were never spanked and they grew up good but the ones that were spanked they grew up to be terrors.

I knew kids that were spanked and not spanked that grew up both ways. Parents use this "Don't hit because it teaches hitting." Well then yelling teaches yelling, taking away things means taking away things. If your boss ticks you off you don't steal his stapler. Its obserd. Nor do you spank them. You also don't put other adults in time out or wash there mouths with soup.

Punishment is about knowing consiquenses or at least knowing something is wrong. I was only spanked once in my life and that was because i grabbed the steering wheel in the car and pulled as hard as i could. Because i wanted a candy bar. I will never forget that i was really little but i knew not to pull that wheel after that. Which i think it a good lesson to learn at least i think it is.

You need to be firm with children and other adults. Respect is something that is taken of granted within every age group. Punishment is a hard thing to deal with, you don't want to hurt a child, but any punishment is going to be upseting. If i were set to my room i would just read, or day dream in time out. I was a well behaved child, but had i done more things like pulling a steering wheel i think i would have been more upset with my parents for not disciplining me.

Some people say you never need to get upset just explain things. If my parents calmly told me not to play baseball in the house, i stilled played baseball in the house. Its all about the situation and parenting style.

I didn't like how the article had a man say spanking taught me how to lie and say i didn't do it. Yes well all punishments can teach that too not just spanking, no one wants to get in troble parents and kids alike. :-/

Answer 5

Well, I agree with this article. Things vary from generation to generation and from person to person. I am 27 years old, and I grew up in a household where I got abused, severely, and swore when I grew up I would never spank my children. Of chourse, now I'm an adult, with 2 children of my own, and I'm a single mother, raising them by myself and working full time. I would never hit my children the way I was hit when I was a child, but, I now realise that spanking is a necessary evil. No good parent enjoys spanking their children, I hate it when I HAVE to spank mine. I use spanking as a punishment extremely sparingly, and when I do spank my children it is just one swat on the butt with an open hand. About the only time I actually spank my children, which may seem kind of odd is when we're out in public and there is no place to put them in time out. It's the only way I know how to get them to behave, or if they refuse to go to time out when I tell them to. I think spanking is necassary, but that it should be used sparingly.

Answer 6

I think its about time the truth is put out there...spank or no spank when a parent is afraid of even correcting their child in public because someone might call CPS on them it does a disjustice to our kids....there needs to be limits...and the fact that people are realizing that the belief that spanking our kids may not be damaging is a move in the right direction...

with that said though...spanking and beating are too different things...there is a thin line between correcting and abuse

Answer 7

i agree with spanking. allthough my daughter is quite the hard headed one. for example, we have the soap dispencers that are mounted on the wall. well needless to say,she had a fase of getting into it and rubbing it into her hair, 2..3....4 times a day, and we couldnt just take it down because that would defeat the purpose of teaching her right from wrong. but even then spanking wouldnt work. its just what the parents want. someitmes i give her a spanking. we say "mommys gonna beat butt". which might sound mean but every parent is different. most of the time i dont even have to spank her. but like i said shes so damn stubborn (lol) sometimes you have to do what u have to do. i DO NOT BELIEVE in beating a child. my father inlaw used to get spanked for eveything and now hes still that way. hes all about spanking. and hitting. hes mean. now it could be from somthing else. but i got spanked once in a while and im fine and happy. i love my parents and thank them everyday for how they raised me. drug free always, i was not sleeping with everybody(proud to say just my fiance) i have no deep issues. so spank on parents!!!!

Answer 8

I've known plenty of people who were never spanked and are responsible, respectful, polite adults. I also know a lot of children who are spanked repeatedly and are still terrors. I am totally against spanking, but, when I read the article, I wondered how a person determines this "line" between spanking and abuse. Who decides this??? My opinion: Kids learn from how we act and what we teach them, and hitting teaches nothing that I want my kids to learn.

Answer 9

I have two children, 12 and 8, and i cant count on one hand how many times i have had to "spank" them. There are many ways to dicipline your children without having to physically touch them, but i do not believe that the few times they have had a "tap on the butt" has screwed them up. Like any dicipline though, spanking can be taken too far. As far as scientific studies.....i was spanked as a child...ALOT!!! And it wasnt just with a hand. I turned out fine...although not perfect. I am not an angry person, and i have never punished my children as i was. I use common sense when dealing with my children and it works great for me!

Answer 10

I use the word "bop".... "spank" conjures up the notion of my mother pulling down my pants and leaving a red mark... I turned out fine... I Think?? I'm not violent, I have a great job, and a wonderful son.

I do occasionally "bop" him on the butt. Not enough to hurt, just enough to say "Hey... Mom means business and you've gone far enough".

I think in controlled situations, NEVER in anger or rage, it can be a useful disciplinary tool. I think it depends on the parent and the child.

Just my 2 cents...