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I am a single mom ( separated from jerk i mean ex-hubby) and am having trouble juggling everything. Any tips?

2006-09-19 14:44:07 · 17 answers · asked by JewelsH 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Grade-Schooler

17 answers

Well, what kind of trouble? Like financial trouble or stress trouble...?

If financial, there are state and community organizations that can help you with the financial aspect. Even if you only qualify for subsidized childcare, or just housing assistance. Or maybe visiting your local salvation army or discount clothing store. Every little bit helps. And it's nothing to be ashamed of either. Sometimes we all go through rough spells and we need a little help. It's those who take advantage of the help, that give it a bad name. Remember that.

On the stressful side, then first thing is first. Take some time for yourself. That is SOOO important to keep your sanity with everyday things. Finding time for yourself, will help you clear your mind so you will be better able to care for and spend time with your child(ren). Leave work stress at work. It doesn't do any good to bring it home. Bringing it home means cranky, moody mom...and nobody likes that! lol

And if you have confrontations with the ex--keep it civil, mature and respectful in front of the kids. It just stresses them out to have to deal with that. They are going through enough as it is.

Chin up. Everything will be ok! It's hard to be doing it all alone at first. But after the first month or so, you will have the confidence and the courage to keep on truckin' through. You'll have rough moments, for sure...but there's always light at the end of the tunnel!

Good Luck!!

2006-09-19 15:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 1 0

Have been a single mum since my pregnancy. My child is now 19. It has been terribly hard trying to juggle work and family but sometimes there is no choice. I had extremely wonderful parents (not always a good thing when they still keep trying to run my son's life) and a supportive family and great friends. Adolescence was particulay hard and I felt like I was going insane but it is better now. My child lives elsewhere. Have a good support network, encourage their friends over and involve them in sports. Be their parent, not their best friend. By acting like their best friend will allow them to test your authority. You don't need that whilst you have no supportive partner at home. Remember also that sometimes we make decisions or choices that we can at the time. You are trying to do your best at the time. Good luck.

2006-09-19 14:54:50 · answer #2 · answered by Deb 1 · 1 0

We have a pretty set schedule luckily, and the kids are used to the routine, so it's easy in that regard. I try to stay somewhat organized- make lunches in the evening, keep the dishes done, keep all the soccer and karate stuff together so I don't have to hunt on the way out the door...
I think the hardest part is finding time for myself. The dad is unvailable for a while and I don't have family to help, so I try to keep an hour a day clear for myself, but sometimes I'm lucky to squeeze in 10 minutes. Grab it when you can. I try to get up an hour early and do yoga (free 1 hr classes on yogatoday.com) just so that I have some "me" time and time to relax and reflect.
The most valuable thing that I have learned, is that it's okay to do "enough". I don't have to do it all. I can only do as much as I can do, and there's no point in stressing myself out because that just stresses everyone out. Give yourself some slack. You can do it :)

2006-09-19 17:13:11 · answer #3 · answered by sokkermum 2 · 1 0

In time you will wonder how you did everything with a man in the house. LOL. It's all pretty full on for a while. Give yourself a break the kids can eat tinned spaghetti on toast sometimes. Don't under estimate them - tell them you are having a bit of a hard time and ask them to do some stuff like put their toys away and help you round the house. Kids can be very kind to their mums sometimes.

2006-09-19 16:35:09 · answer #4 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0 0

Decide what IS important and what isn't take care of the important stuff first and what isn't important doesn't matter. Who do you decide? Ask yourself this question "will it matter in 5 years? In 2? Will it matter next year?" if you answer no to any of those questions it isn't important. Also learn to delegate. You didn't say how old your child(ren) are but if they are toddler ages they can start helping out around the house. Although not perfect they can dust, give them a broom small enough (find them in the toy stores) they can sweep, they can pick up their bedrooms and if you have pets they can help care for them. As they get older they can be given more difficult tasks.

2006-09-19 20:03:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

The biggest thing make sure u take time 4 u even if it's just a long hot bath after teh kids are in bed. I know it seems like u'll never have u time but it does help keep your stress level down if you take time to relax find a sitter and go out once a months or so.

2006-09-19 14:51:26 · answer #6 · answered by evillama4eva 2 · 0 0

issues are going to get tight. Do you have kinfolk who gardens? Or a community backyard the place lots of folk plant vegetables? Use public transportation in case you are able to. you are able to qualify for WIC it is extra foodstuff on your 6 month old, cheese, and different foodstuff that a toddler desires. look at Sams, BJ's or Costco. All have a rather steep club value inspite of the incontrovertible fact that go with between your cellular telephone and your land line. you are able to continuously do on line on the library. isn't just about as intense high quality even though it extremely is there. eliminate your cable, purely very ordinary in case you are able to desire to. DVD's could be gotten 2d hand. So can clothing, some toys and toddler clothing. you are able to desire to bathe each and every component yet you have do this besides. Use public laundromats once you have "great laundry" like blankets their warm water continues to be extra affordable than your warm water. frequent, frequent, frequent. ingredients, drugs, toiletries, shampoos, and paper. maximum of this i'm specific you already do. there's a branch of "Housing and Urband progression" HUD run by the federal government that contracts extra affordable housing for low earnings human beings. The waiting record is long. Get ON it now and stay out of 'initiatives' in case you are able to. Many landlords will settlement older house development with HUD. it may desire to take as muc as 2 years or extra to get a place. In 2 years, you're quite going to prefer affordable housing. Cassaroles are sturdy, a selection of of noodles, or rice and little ones like noodles and rice college factors, extra, wow and a extensive volume of earnings eaters for single mum and dad. See in the journey that your son's college has 'scholarships' for extras, field journeys, factors. you're no longer the only who is going sense the pinch of not extra funds, talk to different mothers and spot what they are doing.

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2016-04-27 21:05:01 · answer #8 · answered by henriette 3 · 0 0

hi i am sorry that you are haveing a hard time do you have any family or friends that can help you i know if you work it helps to let someone you know well keep your child its cheapper or if you can get on a daily schedule it may help you with time to get things done and if you are haveing trouble with bills maybe find a low income place to live have you tryed the welfare department the may can help you its not a bad thing ever body needs help from time to time good luck i hope things get better for you.just keep holding on and putting your best foot forward.

2006-09-19 14:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by mcdanieljoanie 3 · 0 0

I will give you the same advice I would give to "married" moms. Spend as much time with your children as possible. Tell them you love them while they are getting ready for school, when they walk out the door to go to school, when they get home from school. Children know when their parent/parents are stressed. They want to help as much as they can. Their father is their father, is their father, is their father. You may not love him anymore, but they may.

Depending upon the age of your children, perhaps you could ask them for some help. Ask for help with preparing meals, doing the laundry, loading the dishwasher, vacuuming or sweeping, feeding the dogs.

2006-09-19 15:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by Baby Poots 6 · 1 0

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